


Words in My Memory

by andachippedcup



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-09-24
Packaged: 2018-03-26 10:36:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 64,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3847741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andachippedcup/pseuds/andachippedcup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After saying goodbye to Oliver in Nanda Parbat, Felicity Smoak returns to Starling City knowing life will never be the same. Little does she know just how different her life is about to become as the repercussions of her night of shared passion with Oliver come to light. AU - canon divergence from 3x20 on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She began the flight back to Starling City with her forehead resting on the heel of her palm, her eyes closed so she could pretend it was his face she leaned against, his body she drew warmth from. Imagining anything other than the truth; he was gone and this time he wasn't coming back – even if he wanted to.

The others left her to herself, for which she was thankful. His absence was still so raw, so fresh. He was an exposed nerve, sensitive and painful in the extreme. When her eyes flicked open and landed on the empty seat that only a short while ago he had occupied, she couldn't help the tears that sprang to the corners of her eyes. _He was gone. Forever._

"You're um… You're Ollie's assistant. I mean-friend?!" A hasty correction followed by a long pause, and then: "…Felicity, right?"

Thea's voice was gentle and still more than a touch dazed as she stood staring down at Felicity, her hand touching on the seatback of Oliver's former chair. Sniffling, Felicity hurriedly lifted her glasses and wiped her tears away and nodded, clearing her throat.

"Yeah. That's ah – that's me." She offered a forced smile as Thea sat down in the empty place. Felicity couldn't help the way she recoiled inwardly as Thea mentioned her brother; telling her the truth, when she was ready to hear it, was going to be so painful. But so was lying to her in the interim.

"He talks about you." Thea stated lightly and Felicity blanched, taken completely off guard.

Surely Thea was wrong. She was probably still confused, still not quite in her right frame of mind. She was confusing Felicity with someone else that Oliver had talked about; Laurel, probably. Or maybe even Sara.

"He umm… He doesn't tell me much, anymore. Not since he came back. But as much as he doesn't tell me about other stuff, he _does_ tell me about you." Thea revealed, crossing her arms before her as she studied Felicity intently while the blonde could only blink in response as she fumbled for words.

"He… _What_?"

"I mean, not in so many words because my brother? He's not big on the whole sharing thing. But he talks about you a lot." Thea nodded, folding her hands before her with a smile. "Whenever I ask about work, you're in his stories. Your name always comes up. And he always smiles. That's big, for my brother. I don't know if you've noticed but he's a little bit broody and dark. Not when he talks about you though." Thea confessed, smiling shyly. "Then he lights up."

"I ah… He's…"

"It's okay, you know." Thea commented softly and Felicity stared at the girl, both desperate to hear what she had to say and a little terrified at how insightful Thea was proving to be despite her hazy state of mind. "He loves you too."

 _Too_.

"Oh, I-" Felicity began, only to be cut off.

"I see it, you know. I mean, he doesn't, but he's oblivious. But he loves you too. So don't worry. My brother can be an idiot sometimes and he doesn't always make the right decisions but he does have a good heart." Thea explained and Felicity felt her heart breaking.

"Yeah… I've umm… I've always thought so." Felicity whispered, her heart in her throat as she choked out the words. Oliver Queen was a broken soul with a heart of gold and she'd gone and left that heart in the hands of the devil. The man that had saved her life in more ways than she could count, who had opened up her heart and reminded her what it was to open herself up to love. And she'd left him.

She hated herself for leaving him. And even as the jet touched down on the tarmac hours later, Felicity was convinced she would hate herself for leaving him until the day she died.

It only took three weeks before she stopped feeling that way.

\-----

Their group dinners had become something of a weekly occurrence. Their little ragtag group had banded together to form a family from the broken remnants of what they had once been. But now, as they were once more gathered around John and Lyla's dinner table Felicity felt more concern and panic than comfort.

She was thankful for the excuse to step away from reality to play with Sara and coax the infant to eat, all the while aching as she looked at the girl's round, soft cheeks and bright eyes. By the time Lya decided Sara had probably had as much as Thea and Felicity could coax her into eating, Felicity's heart was heavy with grief and she stepped away from the baby with the barest sense of relief.

"There's something I need to tell you all." Felicity announced quietly as she poked halfheartedly at the chicken cacciatore that Lyla had made for them this week. It was delicious – even to Felicity, for whom food had been like ashes on her mourning tongue – but her stomach was too uneasy to handle anything substantial right now.

"I-… When we were in Nanda Parbat, I confronted Ra's." Felicity stated, her arms crossed before her as she hugged herself to get a grip and keep her cool while the others looked at her worriedly. "I told him that we wouldn't let Oliver go, that we would fight for him. And some other things, too..." She trailed, recalling the moment with a not so vague sense of pride.

She could see Diggle shaking his head, clearly torn between pride and astonishment at her apparent lack of self preservation instincts. Lyla regarded her with cool appreciation as she tended to baby Sara, who was fussing quietly. Thea was still watching Felicity closely, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"And he told me things. Which aren't really important but he did tell me I had to say goodbye to Oliver and tell him how much I loved him." Felicity explained, swallowing thickly as she recalled the interminable walk to Oliver's quarters after her talk with Ra's al Ghul.

"Well that's a little creepy." Thea commented idly and Felicity met the brunette's gaze and nodded subtly in agreement.

"The point is… Oliver and I… I told him… I told him I loved him." Felicity admitted, her cheeks heating at John's soft look of approval; he had always wanted for the two of them to confront their emotions. Of course he would be happy they had done so – even if it had taken them both so long. Still hugging herself, she plunged on haltingly. "And we umm… we were… together. In Nanda Parbat." She patently avoided eye contact with all of them, the already difficult situation made all the more difficult given that she was talking to Oliver's sister and his brother in arms. Not exactly the ideal audience to announce to that she'd gone and done the horizontal mambo with Oliver.

"I just… I needed you all to know because… I'm pregnant." She whispered hoarsely, lifting her eyes tentatively away from her plate to regard the group of her loved ones with more than a little anxiety and uncertainty.

Silence followed her announcement and all of them stared at her for a moment with wide eyes. Lyla lifted a hand to cover her mouth while John rubbed the back of his neck as he searched for words. It was Thea who spoke first, turning in her chair so that she was facing Felicity as she grabbed the blonde's hands in her own.

"He would be so excited, Felicity." Thea stated quietly and Felicity sucked in a sharp, quavering breath as she bobbed her head, doing her best to hold back tears. Thea waited for Felicity to meet her gaze again, then continued. "I will be there for you every step of the way in this. Whatever you want. Whatever you _need_. Just say the word. That's my niece or nephew we're talking about – I have to look out for the little nugget – and the little nugget's mom." Thea beamed and Felicity felt herself begin to crumble as the reality sunk in.

_She was going to have a little boy or a little girl. Oliver was going to be the father of a child he would never meet._

"I promised him I'd take care of you when we were back." Felicity confessed, sniffling quietly as she held tight to Thea's hands.

"I think if he knew about this, he would have had _me_ promise to take care of _you_. Both of you." Thea smiled sadly and Felicity gave in to the tears that she'd been holding back, curling herself into the warm embrace Thea offered before another pair of warm arms wrapped themselves around her as John joined the hug while Lyla watched on from the opposite end of the table, Sara in her arms. When at last they broke apart, Felicity smiled through her tears at them, too deeply moved and appreciative to even begin to form the words to thank them.

"Felicity, if you need anything-" Lyla began, swallowing thickly, "-you just call me up. Oliver might not be here… but we are. And we'll help you however we can." She stated with certainty and Felicity bobbed her head and blinked back tears as she mouthed a 'thank you' to Lyla.

"That goes double for us." John spoke quietly, reaching across the table to grab Felicity's hand and the small action was enough to almost send her over the edge again. "Oliver was like a brother to me. That makes both of you family. You need anything, we're there. Day or night." Diggle swore solemnly.

"Anything." Lyla echoed, meeting Felicity's gaze. "Even late night cravings – and trust me, those are real." Lyla spoke wryly and Felicity laughed brightly through her curtain of sorrow joy joining the myriad of emotions she was feeling, a welcome light in the darkness she'd been drowning in.

Felicity Smoak was pregnant with Oliver Queen's child. And for the first time since she'd left him in Nanda Parbat three weeks ago, she didn't hate herself so much for leaving. If the choice was her own happiness or her own child's safety, Felicity knew what she would choose.

There was no real choice to make.  


	2. Chapter 2

The tide of dinner turned as the conversation settled following Felicity's announcement. And in true Diggle fashion, Felicity watched as he gently questioned Thea about how she was doing without her brother. As Felicity listened to the younger girl speak, her heart went out to her. Much of what Thea said and felt, Felicity herself was feeling and experiencing in similar fashion.

For Thea, mornings were the worst. But for Felicity? It was the nights. She had spent her nights with Oliver since taking on his crusade. And with the Foundry in shambles, even going to the place where they had spent so much time together wasn't really an option. The hollow emptiness of the place offered no comfort, no familiar sense of Oliver's presence. The place that had come to feel most like home to her was a shell of its former self.

Just like her.

No wonder the Diggle family home felt so much like a reprieve from grief for both Thea and herself. It was the nearest thing to comfort and family that they were like to find.

"You're always welcome in our home." Lyla intoned warmly, reaching across the table to lay a gentle hand on Thea before turning her piercing gaze upon Felicity. " _All_ of you." She added, inclining her head in Felicity's direction.

"I just miss him." Thea confessed mournfully and Felicity sucked in a quiet breath as the brunette added, "The fact that he's gone because of me-"

"He wouldn't want you blaming yourself."  Felicity interrupted in a sad, soft voice as she eyed Thea steadily and the younger woman returned her gaze with an uncertain look of her own. Felicity was still staring at Oliver's sister as John made his toast and Felicity robotically lifted her wine glass (filled with water, for obvious reasons) as they toasted Oliver.

 _Gone but never forgotten_.

Well. He was more 'gone' for some than for others; Felicity was carrying around a living piece of him with her even as they drank. For her, Oliver wasn't gone, _couldn't_ be gone. He was now not only her past and present, but her future as well. And while perhaps in her foolish daydreams she had always hoped he _would_ be her future, that had never been a certainty – until now, when he was lost to her.

How could she have permanently lost him and permanently gained him in her life all at once?

Unbidden, Ra's al Ghul's words came to memory.

 _There is one immutable truth about life – it is often more cruel than it is fair_. _And it rarely provides an opportunity for any of us to find closure_.

Even then his words had felt eerie to her; now, in hindsight? They felt cruelly prophetic. Where it had seemed he was offering her the chance of closure, he had both encouraged her to seize it and in so doing, permanently denied it for her forever. How could she have any sense of closure with Oliver when she was carrying a child he would never know of, never hold, never meet?

It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. And it was most certainly cruel.

The rest of dinner passed by in an all-too fast blur and in short order, Thea and Felicity had said their goodbyes and after another round of hugs and congratulations, the two left the apartment and walked in companionable silence towards the elevator.

"I tried… to get him out of Nanda Parbat. It wasn't my best brainstorming but I did try." Felicity confessed quietly, hugging herself about her middle as she walked, feeling like she was trying to hold the shattered pieces of herself together with each step.

"I think… that I vaguely remember that." Thea responded, frowning as she cocked her head to the side and thought hard. "Did we… run through a cave or something?"

"The catacombs. Yeah… Like I said," she sighed, pausing as she looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath, "not my finest plan. If you can consider a terror-induced, rash, _completely insane_ decision a 'plan', that is." Felicity sighed, shaking her head as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open to admit them into the spacious, empty elevator. They stepped inside and wordlessly, Thea hit the button for the main lobby. It wasn't until the doors slid closed that Felicity spoke again.

"I'm sorry that I didn't come up with a better plan… Maybe if I had, things would be different." Felicity apologized with a sigh, pushing her glasses up from her face so that her fingertips could swipe away the tears just beginning to leak from the corners of her eyes.

"I don't blame _you_ , Felicity." Thea assured quietly. "You did everything you could for him… You all did. If I blame anyone, it's my _father._ "

The word fell off her tongue like shattering glass; sharp and fast and with little in the way of fondness. Clearly Thea had not reconciled with Merlyn. And if Felicity was being honest, she was glad for it. Logically, Felicity blamed Malcolm as well, even if emotionally she carried her own burden of self appointed guilt for Oliver's fate.

"I just… I wish I could have done something… I wish things were different." Felicity sighed, her eyes downcast. As the elevator dinged again, Thea's hand enclosed on Felicity's elbow as she spun to stand before the blonde, her eyes wide and intent as she focused on her brother's lover.

"So let's make things different."

"Thea-" Felicity began, her tone somber and discouraged, "-please. Don't. I appreciate what you're saying but… don't."

"Felicity, come on. Merlyn taught me how to fight, I can help. Between me, and John and Lyla and Laurel, combined with your tech smarts, we could-"s

"-could get ourselves killed and make Oliver's sacrifice worthless." Felicity interrupted, shaking her head. "Thea, I'm sorry but no. Oliver sacrificed everything for us. John and Lyla have Sara to think about. Oliver wouldn't want you in danger and I-"

She paused, her body going stock still and her stomach clenching and twisting painfully.

"-I have to think of the baby… Oliver wouldn't want the baby in harm's way… And neither do I." Felicity finished strongly, swallowing back the tide of emotions churning inside of her. What mattered in that moment was protecting Thea and honoring Oliver's wishes.

And protecting her unborn child.

Silence descended on the pair as they stepped out of the elevator, walking together out of the lobby and onto the sidewalk beyond. It was dark out already, the streetlights twinkling brightly in the post-sunset warmth that heralded summer's nearness.

The beauty of it was lost on Felicity though.

"Can we skip the awkward 'no one knows what to say part' now and fast forward to us being okay with each other? Or at least okay-ish?" Felicity asked suddenly, spinning to face Thea, whose expression had been sullen ever since Felicity had shut down her suggestion of a rescue mission. Stopping and lifting her eyes to Felicity, Thea quirked a brow, taking in the blonde for a moment.

"Okay-ish." She said at last and Felicity sighed, nodding as her posture relaxed.

"Good; because I was thinking I really need ice cream… Care to join me?" Felicity offered brightly, painted pink lips curving up into an inviting smile as she regarded the young Queen girl. Thea was quiet as she seemed to contemplate and then finally she gave a small smile.

"I could go for a scoop."Thea answered back shyly and Felicity beamed.

"Good. Because I've been craving ice cream since about halfway through dinner."

They pair had just begun to march down the street toward where Felicity had parked her car when Felicity's ringtone broke the silence as she received a text. Fishing the phone from her coat pocket, she pulled up the message and felt her stomach bottom out.

"Frack."

"What is it?" Thea inquired, worry altering the pitch of her voice, making it ever so slightly too high, too pinched. Thea, like her brother before her, had known too much loss and already, Felicity could see how it had changed her and was continuing to shape her, making her edgy and more nervous than she had been before… before losing Oliver.  Trying her best to be diplomatic and to hide her own concerns, Felicity tried her best to come across as nonchalant.

"Nothing to worry about; Diggle said Nyssa and Laurel are going to meet him and I at Palmer Technologies. Apparently they've got something important to tell us that can't wait." Felicity shrugged, downplaying the urgency that John had conveyed in his message – no need to panic Thea unnecessarily.

"I could go with you – whatever it is, I could help!" Thea offered brightly, stepping closer to Felicity just as the blonde waved a dismissive hand.

"Oh no, we'll be fine. Seriously Thea, go home." Felicity stated a little too harshly, wincing at herself for her inability to play it cool. "I tell you what," she added, doing her best to smooth things over, "-I'll come by the loft after we're done with Nyssa and Laurel to fill you in." Felicity offered, prompting Thea to make a face of disbelief, clearly not sold on this plan.

I'll bring ice cream?" Felicity offered hopefully, prompting Thea to nod slowly, still not pleased but willing to go along with this plan.

"I like Rocky Road." Thea stated with a pointed look at Felicity before she departed, leaving Felicity alone and free to sag in relief. If Nyssa and Laurel were summoning her and John, she very much doubted it was for any positive purpose. But Thea didn't need to know that.

Something was probably wrong. And when things went wrong for their group lately, they seemed to go really, _really_ wrong.  

\-----

 "Wait a _second_." Felicity demanded, her voice sounding far stronger than she herself felt as she looked at Laurel, Nyssa, and Diggle in turn. "Oliver wouldn't. I don't see how!" She refused, in complete and utter disbelief that they were even having this conversation. _No. No. Please no._ She was going to be sick, this couldn't be happening. Was the room this hot before? It felt really hot, suddenly. She was sweating - actually sweating - because it was so hot. Or was this because she was stressed? Or wait, was this some weird pregnancy symptom? She really needed to get a book on this stuff.

 _Focus_. 

"I think what she's trying to say is that Oliver would never do anything to hurt you, Felicity." Diggle said, staring pointedly at Laurel and Nyssa as he did his best to protect Felicity's emotions. "And the only reason why he joined the League is to protect the people he loves." Diggle reminded the other two women, his eyes blazing as he looked them over with a subtle nod Felicity's way as he tried to covertly convey to them that they needed to avoid upsetting Felicity. The other two women weren't yet aware of Felicity's pregnancy but John Diggle was and already he was making a priority of protecting her and her child. Felicity might have smiled, if she wasn't so upset by the news Nyssa and Laurel had come to share.

"And what you need to understand is that Oliver Queen is dead. He's a memory." Nyssa stated bluntly and Felicity felt something inside of her snap and sag beneath the weight of this declaration. And she didn't believe it – couldn't believe it – but she still felt the bitter tang of fear on her tongue, poisoning the very air she breathed. This couldn't be happening.

"Apparently the League has some of their recruits undergo a process of reprogramming." Laurel intervened, showing more gentleness and tact than Nyssa, but really, was there any way of sugarcoating 'brainwashing' that made it an easier reality to swallow?

Felicity didn't think so.

"Like brainwashing? Oliver never said that he was signing on for brainwashing!" She retorted sharply, anger sparking and igniting in her voice as she tried to process what they were telling her. This couldn't be right. Oliver… he had sacrificed his life for this. He had never agreed to sacrifice the essence of who he was as a person. They couldn't have brainwashed him. And certainly not so thoroughly as to make him forget the people in his life, his morals…

But if what Nyssa was saying was true… Then Oliver not only didn't know who he was, he didn't know who he had been. He didn't remember their crusade. He didn't remember his family. His friends.

No. Absolutely not. He would never forget his loved ones – least of all Thea. And if he could cling to the memory of his sister, he could cling to his memories of the rest of them. He could fight. He would have fought. She was wrong – Nyssa was wrong. Oliver would never have allowed himself to be brainwashed.

"The League's ways are shrouded in ritual and ceremony. Oliver would not even know it was happening to him." Nyssa said simply and _frack_ if that was supposed to comfort her, it fell far short of doing so.

"I don't care! Oliver, he is stronger than that!" Felicity defended, her hand falling self consciously to her stomach, her fingers spread across the nonexistent baby bump as she tried to draw warmth and comfort from the child whose very father they were discussing. As she did so, Nyssa's eyes seemed to zero in on the motion and self consciously, Felicity froze and then dropped her hand away, but still Nyssa's eyes stayed trained on her with an intensity that made the blonde shiver.

"I did not come here to debate. Laurel insisted that I bring this news to you myself, but I can see all I'm doing is damaging your memory of him. Perhaps it is better for you to not think of what Oliver has become… You can have that luxury." Nyssa stated solemnly, her eyes raking over Felicity one final time before the raven haired woman turned away from the group, Laurel trailing after her as Felicity stayed rooted in place, her cheeks hot as she tried to shake the feeling that Nyssa _knew_.

That was ridiculous. She was three weeks pregnant. No one could tell by looking at a person when they were three weeks along that they were pregnant. Pregnancy tests barely knew she was pregnant.

But Felicity was still at least 99.8% certain that Nyssa knew.

"This can't be happening." Felicity murmured as she clutched her stomach, which felt like it was doing flips – and not the good kind.

"You alright?" John asked softly and Felicity nodded, straightening and walking closer to him.

"They're wrong. So I'm fine." Felicity stated firmly, refusing to believe Nyssa's words. Before John could respond to her though, Laurel stormed back towards them.

"Great, now what are we supposed to do?" The Black Canary's voice punctuated the quiet, sounding sharp and harsh with anger.

"Nothing. No offense but Nyssa is insane. Oliver is still Oliver." Felicity stated in no uncertain terms, glancing to John before she turned to leave. She couldn't handle this, _wouldn't_ handle this. Nyssa was wrong. She had grown up believing the League was some impossibly strong force and maybe they were but Oliver, Felicity's Oliver?

He was stronger than the League. He was stronger than even Ra's knew. And he would never – _never_ – be broken by them. He had survived five years being tormented and hunted and in constant danger. He had the scars to prove it – she'd seen them, touched his damaged, broken flesh and seen first hand what he was capable of surviving. If his physical self was that strong, his mental self was even stronger.

Oliver was still Oliver.

"Nobody knows the League better than Nyssa. And did you see the look on her face? She was terrified! I didn't even think that was possible!" Laurel insisted as she marched after Felicity, clearly unwilling to let this topic rest. Felicity took a deep breath, feeling exhausted by this conversation. It must have shown, because John swooped in, coming to stand alongside her, a silent stronghold of support and understanding that Felicity clung to (figuratively at least) in that moment.

"Even if Nyssa's right about Oliver-"

"-which she isn't." Felicity interjected, sharing a pointed look with John – even if he was showing her support, she needed to be sure that he was on her side, that he believed her, believed that Oliver was still himself.

"Getting between her and the league isn't an option. And since when did Ra's' daughter become someone we stick our necks out for Laurel?"John questioned and Felicity stilled, feeling a modicum of reassurance that John too found Nyssa's words impossible. Nyssa could believe what she wanted but them? Those who knew, _truly knew_ Oliver? They knew the falsehood of Nyssa's claims.

"I know you're furious with Ra's for what he's done to Oliver. We all are. But Nyssa? She saved my sister's life. She gave her a home." Felicity felt her heart ache at the thought of Sara, and for a moment she was so distracted by the still fresh hurt of losing her friend that she almost missed Laurel's next words. "She's a good person. In spite of everything that she grew up with. And the last time I checked, protecting good people? _That_ is what we do."

Felicity had to give Laurel credit. She was suddenly reminded of why Laurel had made a good lawyer; the girl could put together a strong, believable argument. Even John seemed convinced.

"Fine. Nyssa _does_ seem to have an idea where we can find Oliver and the League." He allowed, not looking too happy about it but willing to at least help protect Nyssa.

"Well then I guess we shouldn't have let Nyssa leave alone." Felicity commented hollowly, feeling so emotionally wrung out from the day's events. She'd accepted that Oliver was gone, she'd even told their friends about the baby. And now to find out that the father of that child might not be as lost to her as she'd thought, that he might be right here in Starling?

That was a lot of emotional ups and downs for one day. And being pregnant on top of all of that wasn't exactly helping her emotional stability at the moment.

"No it's fine." Laurel assured them simply, helping herself to Felicity's work station. "I just put a tracking device on her." Laurel explained, prompting Felicity to gawp at her and march closer to the computers in surprise, her eyes sweeping the screens and scanning them in shock and curiosity. In answer Laurel looked at Felicity in her peripheral vision, clearly sensing Felicity's surprise. "This isn't my first day."

"I…" Felicity stammered, prompting Laurel to look at her in amusement as she searched for words.

"You can thank me by running point from here." Laurel suggested and Felicity shut her open mouth, swallowing  thickly before she nodded.

"Fine."

Laurel spun on her heel to face John and cocked her head to the side inquiringly.

"Shall we?"

Sharing a glance Felicity's way, the blonde could sense her friend's concern about leaving her alone given the tumultuousness of the day's events. Meeting his gaze, Felicity dipped her head in a quick bob of her head.

"Go…We'll be fine here." She assured and he nodded, turning to go with hurried strides. Laurel lingered, looking at Felicity uncertainly.

"We-?" She began to ask, only for John's voice to interrupt.

"Laurel, are you coming?" His voice was sharp and strained, his own uncertainties and concerns about this whole mission embodied in that moment.

"Coming!" Laurel responded, giving Felicity one last questioning look before she departed, hustling after John with quick strides. Felicity waited until the pair had left the floor, leaving her alone on the executive floor once again. Certain that she was alone, Felicity pressed both hands to her stomach again and for a full minute she just held the place where her child was growing, cell by cell, moment by moment. 

"We are going to have to tell everyone about you real soon if I keep calling myself a 'we' instead of a 'me'." Felicity murmured absent mindedly to the baby, lifting one of her hands away from her stomach so she could tap single-handedly at her keyboard in an attempt to do _some_ work. "Let's hope you didn't inherit your mom's rambling tendencies and lack of brain-to-mouth filter, okay kid?" She sighed before turning her attention to the screen where Nyssa's tracking beacon glowed on the city map, all the while wondering if Oliver was somewhere within the stretch of city she was staring at now.

"And while we're at it, let's also hope you didn't inherit your dad's tendency to get himself into trouble. That's actually going to be a family rule - no getting into trouble. Got it? We are so not going to be the family that vigilantes together. And no matter what anyone tells you, the family that goes vigilante-ing together does not stay together. Case in point, your dad is supposed to be in Nanda Parbat. That's about as opposite of together as you can get." Felicity murmured as her fingers flew over the computer keys as she dialed into police scanners and local security and traffic cameras, just in case.

If Oliver was here, she was going to find him, damn it. For his sake as much as for hers. 

"Let's see if we can find daddy..." 


	3. Chapter 3

"Anything?"

"Nyssa hasn't stopped moving, but I'm still getting a strong signal off the tracker."

"Copy that. Radio check every five minutes."

Felicity listened as Diggle's end of the comms went silent and she sighed heavily, passing a hand over her face before she stared at the computer screens in front of her with an expression equal parts determination and exhaustion.

Technology was supposed to be her escape, her ordered, rational world. And right now, it wasn't feeling very rational or offering any escape. Placing the tablet pen in her hands to her lips, she bit the pen between her teeth and tapped halfheartedly at the keyboard before her, part of her hoping to catch sight of him and part of her dreading it.

"Nice secret headquarter upgrade."

Felicity flinched in surprise as the familiar voice of Thea Queen punctuated the relative silence and the brunette strode into view, her voice overflowing with amusement as she perused the makeshift lair the team had come up with. "Does Mister Palmer know you guys are in here?" Thea queried in vague glee as she marched over to where Felicity was hunched over her workstation.

"Yes. He's out of town. And how did you get in here?" Felicity inquired, plucking the tablet pen up and pointing it in Thea's direction with only the barest sense of accusation. 

"My dad's a super villain and you left your doors unlocked." Thea replied in a silvery, slow voice, staring at Felicity with a bored shrug, as if her presence here wasn't entirely surprising. Or concerning. Both of which, it actually was.

"Right…" Felicity trailed off, blinking fiercely as her emotions got the best of her. Taking a quavering breath, she turned away from her computers; they were offering no comfort anyway. "I've been distracted." She stammered by way of explanation, staring up at the ceiling to try and use gravity to help keep her tears at bay.

It only worked a little.

"'Cause you and MIster Diggle are trying to save the city by yourselves?" Thea asked as she walked closer to the blonde her brother had loved so dearly, gently placing one hand on Felicity's forearm. "Or because you're pregnant and the father of your child and man you love is now bound in servitude to a _literal_ League of assassins?" Thea asked pointedly with raised brows, prompting Felicity to sigh heavily. "Either way, I think being distracted is justified." Thea added and Felicity shook her head sadly.

"It doesn't matter if it's justified or not. I can't afford – _we_ can't afford - for me to be distracted right now. People's lives are at stake." Felicity chastised herself aloud and Thea pursed her lips, hating to hear how stressed and worried Felicity plainly was.

"You can't hold yourself responsible for everyone, Felicity. You can't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders." Thea pointed out and Felicity sighed.

"Someone had to inherit that mantle from Oliver." She remarked with only a slight note of sarcasm which fortunately, Thea seemed to have an appreciation for.

"Look, I've been thinking. Umm… Maybe rather than me sitting at home, alone, _miserable_." Thea emphasized, chancing a glance Felicity's way before she continued to walk around the room, taking in the various tech that dominated the space. "Maybe I could be out there, helping you guys. I mean, you seem like you're short-handed one and vigilante skills run in my blood." Thea added with a cocky little grin as she gave a verbal resume of why she ought to join the team. But if she was amused by Thea's words, Felicity sure wasn't showing it.

"Thea this might actually be the worst week ever for this conversation." Felicity murmured more than a little apologetically, her voice coming out stuffy and not like herself. Probably on account of the tears. She'd been crying a lot – was that hormones or just the raging shit storm they seemed to be in?

Both. Both was probably the right answer.

"What's going on?" Thea asked nervously, pressing for information and in that moment Felicity was distinctly reminded of Oliver's insistent voice trying to get information out of her when she'd been less than forthcoming after learning about Thea's true parentage. But to be fair, she'd been holding back because his mother _had_ threatened her and who liked being threatened? No one. That was who.

_You're getting sidetracked. Focus_.

The point was, they were definitely related, the Queen siblings.

"I can't." Felicity refused, walking away and raising her hands for emphasis as she went to the next computer terminal, hoping for some sort of release and finding none within the lines of code upon the screen.

"Felicity I cannot be handled right now!" Thea retorted back hotly, her steadfast refusal to take no for an answer also reminding Felicity of Oliver. There were reminders of him everywhere. And it hurt. Badly. But what if she was mourning a man that was within her very own city limits?

"It's possible – and I stress _possible_ -" Felicity emphasized, glancing at Thea pointedly, "that Oliver is back in town. With the League.

"Wh-…I don't understand. Why would Ollie come back here?" Thea questioned with understandable skepticism, her confusion put on hold for a moment as a look of excitement lit up her face. "Did he find out about the baby?" Thea queried and the hope in her voice was so pure that Felicity felt like a monster as she explained the true reason behind Oliver's possible return.

"They're after Nyssa." Felicity answered the girl, her eyes searching Thea's face so she could study her reaction. For some reason, and Felicity couldn't say why exactly, but for some reason it was of critical importance to her to know what Thea's genuine initial reaction was to that news.

Maybe because she was Oliver's sister. His blood. The person for whom he'd literally sold his soul to the demon in order to save. This was the other person that mattered most in his world. And if Thea ranked that high on Oliver's list of priorities, she would rank equally high on Felicity's list – if for no other reason than to respect Oliver's memory. Fortunately, Thea ranked high on Felicity's list for reasons beyond being Oliver's sister.

Thea gaped at Felicity as she processed the news, her mouth hanging open in shock and her face pale, eyes wide in disbelief.

"Ollie would never-"

"-Nyssa thinks he's under some sort of league mind voodoo…" Felicity shrugged, wishing she had something better, something more comforting to offer the younger girl. She took small comfort in the knowledge that Thea too believed Oliver incapable of this. There was something to be said for the two people that knew him best being in agreement as to what he was capable of and what he was not. "But it's going to be fine. We're handling it." Felicity assured weakly, laying a warm hand on Thea's arm to try and reassure the girl, hoping her acting skills were up to par.

"You are a terrible liar." Thea told Felicity's retreating figure as the blonde ducked into a computer terminal, eyes on the screen below her.

"That is _true_. Even when I'm not a hormonal, emotional mess. And especially true now that I am." Felicity agreed emphatically, waving her tablet pen in the air for additional accentuation

"Do you know where he is? I mean, Maybe I could just talk to him." Thea pleaded, desperation coloring her voice as she rushed to Felicity, her hands covering the blonde's as she all but begged for her help in finding her brother.

"Thea, I don't know what doctor's orders are for when someone gets brought back from the dead but I am pretty sure getting into a fight with the League of Assassins goes against them." Felicity balked, fear for Thea's safety spurring her to new protective, maternal highs.

"Oh, but ice cream and sitting around the loft alone _are_ doctor's orders?" Thea bit back sharply, causing Felicity to stiffen at the not so vaguely disguised insult being hurled her way. Softening apologetically almost instantly, Thea approached her again, her voice low and urgent. "I can get through to him."

"Please Thea… Oliver wouldn't want you involved. He did what he did so that you would stay out of harm's way." Felicity stated imploringly as the two women shared a long look before Thea looked away shamefacedly.

"Yeah well… sounds like Ollie's not here anymore. Have fun explaining that one to my niece or nephew someday." Thea said coldly as she walked away, leaving Felicity to her computers. As they began to beep shrilly, Felicity stepped away from them to follow after Thea, catching the girl just before the elevators.

Diggle and Laurel could wait – Thea couldn't. She was hurting and scared and sad – emotions Felicity was all too acquainted with, currently. Felicity had promised Oliver she would look after the girl and letting her walk away with this kind of emotional baggage ready to spill over at any moment didn't really seem like the right thing to do.

"Thea, wait!" She called after the slender girl's retreating figure, watching as she drew up short, her hands balled into fists as she staunchly refused to face Felicity.

"I'm sorry. Don't you think it kills me not to be out there, looking for him? To know he might be here, that I might be able to talk to him and get through to him? It does." Felicity assured Thea, her whole body beginning to tremble with the force of her own emotions in that moment. "It is _destroying_ me." Felicity whispered faintly, her fingers curling so her nails bit into the skin of her palm, leaving deep crescents in their wake as she tried to steady herself. Apparently sensing Felicity's distress, Thea reached for the blonde guiltily, doing her best to stabilize her.

"Felicity, I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean..." Thea trailed off helplessly, searching Felicity's face to see if she understood. And she did - really, she did. 

"I know." Felicity responded quietly, blinking fiercely. "Thea - I don't doubt that you can get through to him," Felicity explained, voice quavering, "But I am terrified that you will get hurt in the process. You aren't a killer, Thea." Okay, technically speaking she was but that didn't count, that had been Malcolm's doing, not hers and Felicity was _so not going to bring that up. "_ But the men that will be with your brother? They're assassins- _literal assassins_ – and they won't hesitate to hurt you. Or kill you." Felicity choked out, placing a tentative hand on Thea's arm. She did her best to conceal her surprise when the brunette didn't turn away from the contact but instead, tolerated it.

"And I don't know about you, but I really don't want to see you knocking on death's door again. And neither would Oliver." Felicity added softly. "Besides, this baby's going to need its Aunt Thea… And so will I." Felicity murmured compassionately before she turned away from the girl to leave her to her thoughts. She'd only made it a few steps away when Thea's voice broke the quiet, stilling her.

"Felicity?"

The blonde turned to face her future child's aunt, blinking at her slowly from behind her dark frames.

"Don't forget to bring ice cream… When you come over later." Thea reminded in a low voice and Felicity felt some of her stress melt away as Thea extended what was plainly an olive branch.

"I'll have a pint of Rocky Road with your name on it." Felicity vowed, eliciting a small smile from the other woman, whose teary-eyed expression made it plain that Felicity had managed to get through to her. And yes, it the truth of their situation was painful – but at least they could bear this burden together. As Thea walked towards the elevators, Felicity took a deep breath to steady herself, only to be interrupted by a loud, impatient series of beeps coming from her computer terminals.

" _Frack_!" She muttered, springing into motion and darting back to her work station, tapping away hurriedly at her tablet before consulting her computer screen as she pulled up the camera feed in question that had been going haywire.

In grainy security camera footage, a rooftop came into view. On it, Nyssa was lying on the ground, a figure hunched over her. As Felicity watched, the figure threw back its hood and rose, revealing none other than the man she'd never thought to see again.

"Oh my god…" She exhaled, feeling tears biting at the corners of her eyes as she looked upon him, so filled with rage and destruction.

_"We can't let you hurt her, man!"_ She heard Diggle call out through the comms, just outside of the view of Felicity's video feed and Felicity found herself gripping the desk to stabilize herself because _this could not be happening_. Oliver's eyes were dark and distant, his expressions blank and uncaring. This was not Oliver. Not _her_ Oliver. How could that be? How could Ra's have broken Oliver, and in such a short time?!

He'd always been so strong… And though Felicity had never been naïve enough to think of him as invincible (he was far from it, as she knew all too well from her many times playing doctor with him), if she'd thought anyone was capable of withstanding torture, she'd have put her money on Oliver.

Apparently it was a good thing she wasn't a gambling woman.

As she watched, Oliver stared down Diggle and Laurel and then, without a word to any of them, he turned and walked right off the edge of the building, as nonchalantly as if he were entering an elevator and not dropping hundreds of feet. And she knew he had a means of escape – probably a grappling arrow or the like – but Felicity still couldn't help the way her stomach lurched at the sight of him so casually stepping off the top of a building.

"Oliver!" She whispered fearfully, blinking fiercely at her video feed and praying she'd imagined it but in her heart, Felicity knew what she'd seen had really happened. Oliver was back. But he wasn't the same person she'd left behind in Nanda Parbat - and he was definitely not the same person she'd made love to amidst the decadent pillows and tapestries of the League's hideaway. This iteration of Oliver? He was _nothing_ like her Oliver.

Lurching forward, Felicity had enough time to race across the room for the trash bin before she heaved and emptied the contents of her stomach. Sinking to the floor, Felicity clutched the trash can to her chest as the world seemed to spin before her.

_This can't be happening_.

"He's gone." She choked out mournfully, her fingers curling around the rim of the trash bin, her grip so tight it left her white knuckled. "He's really gone." And then her stomach was churning and she was vomiting again, head half in the bucket as her world continued to fall apart at the seams. It felt like it was years later before Diggle reentered the floor of Palmer Technologies that she had converted into their temporary lair. But by the time he found her, she'd managed to scrape herself off the floor and clean herself up. Well, marginally, anyway.

She heard his footsteps on the tile floors before she saw him.

"How's Nyssa?" She felt hollow as she asked the question, remembering her earlier fervent denial of the other woman's warning. Apparently she should have listened to Nyssa.

"She's with Laurel, she's going to be okay… How are you?"

The note of concern in John's voice was inescapable as he came to a stop alongside her, looking knowingly at her. Felicity met his gaze for a moment before she closed her eyes and turned her head away, feeling too overwhelmed to be as eloquent as she wanted to be.

"Same as you, probably. Except sweatier and probably more nauseous. And definitely more hormonal." Felicity added, brushing away a damp lock of hair from her face. "Not to make assumptions or anything." Felicity rambled, avoiding more serious talk until she caught John's eye and grew quiet for a moment to collect herself.

"Neither one of us believed Nyssa when she said Oliver had been turned." Felicity stated hollowly, looking to her friend and desperately hoping he could say or do something to ease the painful knot growing larger and more tangled within her chest.

"I'm still not sure I believe it." John responded, and for a moment Felicity nursed the barest fragments of hope within her heart, even as John turned from her and walked away, his hands going to his pockets. "I heard about this kind of thing. Guy gets captured by the enemy, gets broken. I just never imagined Oliver… I still can't imagine that Oliver would." He turned then to face her, his expression serious as he regarded her. "He's the strongest man I've ever known, Felicity." John said softly, sounding as scared and pained as Felicity had ever heard him.

"When Oliver stayed behind, when he agreed to join the League - he never could have known that this is what he was agreeing to. The only way that I've been able to get out of bed these past few weeks is because I knew that Oliver was still alive…"

"He is alive, Felicity." John interrupted her, though the reality his words described were of poor comfort in that moment. "And you have more reasons than that to get out of bed every day. We both know that." He reminded her pointedly and Felicity sighed, nodding dully. 

"We thought that Oliver was just giving up his life to Ra's… but he gave up his soul." Felicity choked out, and once more she felt crushed by the increasingly familiar and unwelcome feeling that the world was falling apart around her, leaving her dangling on a ledge with no way back.

"I had hoped against hope that there was a _chance_ he could find a way out someday… That he could come back to us…To his son or daugher." She trailed off, lowering her gaze to the still flat planes of her stomach and sniffling forlornly.

She hadn't just lost the man that she loved (all over again) today. She'd lost the father of her child. She'd lost a thousand memories she would never get to make with him and their baby. She'd lost an entire future she'd hoped against hope for. She'd lost a life with Oliver and their child.  A child he would _never_ even know _existed._

Not bothering with words, John pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her tightly, the embrace offering the release and the reassurance she so desperately needed. They held each other for some time, wordlessly taking comfort in the knowledge that they were not alone in this – any of it. They had each other's backs now, as they always had.

"I know that I'm not him… And I'm not saying that I could be, because I can't," Diggle breathed, his cheek resting atop her head as he held her close, "-but that kid of yours is going to have me in its life. I promise, Felicity – I've got you. Both of you. I'll be at every baseball game or ballet recital. You have my word."

Then, his voice softening a few degrees, Diggle spoke again – this time to her unborn baby.

"You're always gonna have your Uncle Digg. You hear me?"

Felicity curled against John's chest tighter at this as fresh tears crashed over her but despite the heartache, she held the full force of her emotions at bay. Instead, she shook her head against Diggle's chest.

"No. Not just 'Uncle Diggle'." She corrected, her voice muffled by the embrace. "Godfather Diggle, too." Felicity supplied, feeling rather than seeing as John's body went stock still in shock until he pulled her out of his arms long enough to meet her eyes, his own eyes wide and searching.

"Are you serious?"

There was emotion, raw emotion, in John Diggle's voice as he stared down at her and she swallowed back her tears, nodding as a sad smile spread across her lips.

"I can't think of anyone Oliver would have wanted for the job more." Felicity voiced her thoughts hoarsely, her smile widening as a micro smile found its way onto John's features, warmth spreading and chasing away some of the sadness in his eyes. And it was there, in that ocean of sadness that Felicity found the life preserver she could cling to.


	4. Chapter 4

Felicity considered herself a strong person. Not strong in the classic 'capable of lifting heavy things' or other such physical feats kind of  'strong' but emotionally strong. Able to be a shoulder for her friends to lean or cry on. An emotional support beam of sorts. _That_ kind of strong. Even still, there was a limit to what she was capable of withstanding. And when she and John had arrived at the Diggle family apartment to find Lyla gone and Sara alone, crying in her crib, only for Oliver to call and take the credit for Lyla's abduction?

Well, Felicity was pretty sure that constituted 'more than a person should have to take'.

"We aren't having this discussion." John shook his head, refusing to meet her gaze as he prepared for the meeting with Oliver and the League, where the plan was to hand Nyssa over in exchange for Lyla. An exchange that John was intent on having Felicity sit on the sidelines for.

"You're right. We aren't – _I'm going_!" Felicity retorted stubbornly, prompting him to swing his head up to meet her, eyes blazing.

"Felicity, you're _pregnant_!" He stated tersely, his voice a low growl. "I cannot let you put yourself - and my godchild - in harm's way." The additional -  _Oliver wouldn't want you to be in danger -_ went unsaid but Felicity could feel it lingering just at the tip of John's tongue and she was pretty certain he could too.

"We are always in harm's way. What we do? There are always risks. At least this time, it's a risk to save someone I care about." Felicity rationalized, only for Diggle to shake his head.

"No. No, Lyla wouldn't want you to do this. And neither do I."

"It's my choice." Felicity countered through gritted teeth, trying not to get angry with her friend when he was only trying to protect her and her child. It was exactly the sort of thing Oliver would have done. Felicity wasn't sure if that made it endearing or enraging. Probably both - Oliver had usually had that effect on her. She could be torn between wanting to kiss him and slap him at any given moment. But most especially when he tried to pontificate something 'because of the life he led'. Which was what Diggle sounded suspiciously close to now. 

"Like hell it is. I'll strap you to Palmer and tell him to fly you to your mother's house, so help me." Diggle threatened and Felicity narrowed her eyes at him in response.

_Oh. Low blow_.

"John _you_ are going. Laurel is going. Nyssa is going. _Thea is going_. Lyla is already there. Oliver is there. I can only take so much. And being left behind? That's not on the very short list of what I can take right now. What if something happens to all of you? Where does that leave me? Sure, I'd be safe physically but emotionally? I'd be as good as dead." Her eyes were watering at the very idea of being left as the last one standing on the team she had helped to found but she did her best to hold the tears at bay.

"That leaves you here. Alive. With your baby… And Sara." Diggle stated softly, prompting Felicity to look at him, wide eyed.

"Wh-… I… _What_?!"

"If something happens to Lyla and I, I'd want you to be there for Sara. She'd need her Aunt Felicity even more if that happened." Diggle breathed and Felicity felt her resolve momentarily quaver.

_Damn hormones_. And he was totally preying on them!  Oh, after this was all over they were _definitely_ going to have a talk about when it was and was not allowable to use her raging pregnancy hormones against her (answer: _never_ ).

"John I-… I'm honored. Really. But… I can't stay behind. You can't ask me to do that. I know I'm not a fighter like all of you but I am part of this team and that makes me a soldier. And you wouldn't leave a fellow soldier behind… Would you?" Felicity inquired softly, staring at him pleadingly. John sucked in a breath and passed a hand over his face, clearly not pleased at the position she had put him in. But hey, if he could play dirty, so could she. Thus the soldier analogy.

"No unnecessary risks. _None_." John warned her and Felicity nodded, biting back a smile at the realization that he had given in.

"I will be the pinnacle of safe. I won't even bring my tablet, that way I'll be totally weaponless and completely nonthreatening." Felicity grinned, only for a spark to light up John's face as he looked at her with renewed surprise.

"Completely weaponless might not be the best route to go…"

\-----

"Remind me to leave the League of Assassins a really bad Yelp review when all of this is over." Felicity grumbled as the group made their way to the meeting place, tension written in every muscle of their bodies.

Thea smirked in response to Felicity's comment, her eyes sliding across their surroundings as the group drew nearer to the designated location. Despite the profoundly awful-as-frack circumstances, Felicity could sense Thea's excitement at being in the field with the team her brother had once spearheaded.

"I can see it now." Thea stated dramatically, a hand out before her for emphasis, " '1.5 stars out of 5. Terrible customer service, ridiculous outfits. The entire assassin look could use an update and their choice of destinations for meetings is highly inconvenient. The only reason they get a 1.5 instead of a 1 is because they've got a wicked hot tub at their base of operations.'" Thea remarked, prompting Laurel to snort and shake her head.  Nyssa, however looked far from amused – a fact which Thea realized belatedly.

"I mean, except you of course. You totally pull off this whole broody cloak and dagger thing. And leather is… _totally_ flattering on you." Thea added, doing her best to choke back her own laughter as Nyssa studied her shrewdly, clearly not convinced.

"Alright."

Diggle's voice drew them all up short and Felicity felt the gravity of the situation return to them as the man turned to look at them, his eyes dark.

"Thea, this is as far as you go."

"But-"

"No buts; Felicity will call you on the comms if we need you. Oliver sacrificed himself to protect you; I won't put you in danger anymore than I have to." Diggle stated firmly and Thea huffed a little sigh but nodded and stalked off, leaving Nyssa, Laurel, and Felicity with Diggle.

"Are you sure about this?" Laurel asked nervously, glancing uneasily at Felicity, once more wearing an expression that said she knew something was amiss but not what that something was.

Felicity would tell Laurel the truth. Eventually. But for now, she didn't really feel the need to share her secret with anyone outside of the Diggles and Thea. If Oliver didn't even know, it seemed wrong to go telling _everyone_ else before him.

_But Oliver is gone. He's never going to know_. A little voice in her head reminded her, making Felicity's heart ache. She snapped back to attention when Diggle spoke, answering Laurel's question.

"As sure as I'm going to get." Diggle answered tersely, squaring his shoulders. "Let's do this."

They strode into view of Oliver and his men in a line, an unintentional show of solidarity that gave Felicity strength even as she felt herself go weak at the sight of him. Dressed in League garb, his hair cut short, his eyes dark and unemotional as he watched them approach like they were nothing to him, mere strangers and not his team, his friends, his partners.

His loved ones.

"Search them." He commanded and one figure stepped forward from the shadows. _Maseo_. Oliver's supposed friend.

"Where's my wife?" Diggle demanded hotly, and Felicity's heart went out to her friend once more at the reminder that, as much pain as they were all in at seeing Oliver thusly, Diggle's pain was multiplied by the uncertainty of his wife's wellbeing. "Where's my wife?!" He demanded once more, his limited patience grown understandably thin.

With a simple wave of his hand, Oliver gave a signal and his men marched Lyla out, prompting Felicity to heave a breath of relief. However far gone he was, at least Oliver had not killed his best friend's wife. That was something he would never have forgiven himself for.

Assuming he ever became Oliver and therefore, capable of actually feeling guilt, again.  

"You son of a bitch, whatever Ra's did to you-" Diggle's anger exploded out of him in a tidal wave of pain directed at Oliver but if he cared or noticed, he gave no outward indication. And at that moment, Felicity 's awareness shrank to include just herself and one other person.

She bristled as Maseo turned towards her, like a dog with hackles raised. She knew that now, in this moment, all of their fates were riding on her ability to avoid being searched. But the sense of aversion she felt in that moment had more to do with keeping her unborn baby well away from the searching, prying hands of one of the League of Assassins' members.

"Don't you dare touch me!" She threatened, eyes blazing as she challenged Maseo, practically daring him to try it. Where that false sense of bravado came from, she'd never know for certain (maybe this was that whole 'mother protecting her child becomes freakishly strong' thing). But Maseo drew up, turning to look to Oliver who simply gave a curt nod, thus freeing Felicity from pat down intrusion.

_Thank Google._

Allowing her eyes to finally land on and linger upon Oliver though, Felicity felt her relief drain away from her. This was it; her chance to reach him, to plead with him, to unearth the Oliver buried beneath the 'Al Sah-him'.

"Oliver, this isn't you. Look at me! I know you're still in there somewhere." She pleaded, desperation in her voice as she tried to infuse every word with all the love, the trust, the belief, that she could muster. Because despite everything, she did still believe in him, even with all evidence to the contrary. But for all her pleas, Oliver was unmoved.

"Bind her." Men strode forward with restraints then and made quick work of binding the impassive assassin, Nyssa's quiet acquiescence almost as unnerving as Oliver's total unemotional state.

"You're free to go." Oliver intoned to Lyla, who strode forward to join her husband with eager steps, not bothering to hide her relief at their reunion. John tried to engulf his wife in his embrace, his arms coming to envelop her. The two spoke in hurried undertones and Felicity watched the barest flicker of tension enter and quickly depart Lyla's body just before she turned away from John to approach Felicity, whom she made a point of wrapping up into a warm hug.

But it wasn't a hug.

Well, it _was_ a hug. Lyla did the courtesy of giving her a brief embrace before her hands slid down to Felicity's pockets in a slow movement that, mercifully, drew no additional attention. Felicity could feel the burden within her coat lighten as Lyla's fingers presumably wrapped around the guns, tense and ready to shoot. And in the moments leading up to the actual gunfire, Felicity felt the menace in the air like it was palpable. Her heart was a staccato roaring in her ears and even her breathing seemed to grate on her last nerve, too loud, too fast, _too obvious_.

She was so not cut out to be an actress. She couldn't lie convincingly. Obviously.

And then it happened. Lyla pulled the guns free of Felicity's pockets, safeties off and guns almost literally blazing as the small group put their plan into action.

Felicity felt like a coward for doing it, but the moment that Lyla lifted her hands from Felicity's pockets, Felicity ducked for cover. It was one thing to risk her own neck. But with her baby counting on her, Felicity could and _would_ run and hide, so as to keep her baby as near to safe as it was possible to get when surrounded by a group of assassins, trained snipers, and a modern rendition of the OK corral, now including swords!

_Not funny_. She thought to herself as she sought shelter behind some of the warehouse's crates. Around her, she could hear and see some of the fighting. The grunts and groans of pain, the dull thuds of bodies connecting, the clang of metal, the report of a gun. There was a commotion as Nyssa called out for Laurel and Felicity watched as the assassin ( _assassiness? She still hadn't gotten an answer on that, she really needed to ask about the terminology_ ) was dragged off by the League's men despite the team's best efforts to have prevented exactly that.

But Nyssa's fate didn't both Felicity near as much as Diggle's when she watched as the man she had once shared her bed with towered over her dearest friend, a sword in his hand primed and ready to use.

"No, Oliver." She gasped, her stomach twisting to the point she thought she might be ill. "No." She choked out, unable to find the voice to scream the words, even though she wanted to. And she wanted to run, to intervene, but nothing she could do would save Diggle. She lacked the skills.

But that didn't mean she couldn't help.

"Thea! Thea if you can hear me, we need you _now_!" Felicity gasped over the comm. There was a moment's silence, followed by a faint crackle of static.

"Coming your way." She answered with a lethal seriousness that made Felicity shiver. Turning her attention back to the skirmish, she watched as Oliver and Diggle fought, her heart coming so close to tearing in two that she couldn't help but put a hand over her chest. If it was possible to die of heartache, she was probably treading dangerously close to doing so as Oliver's blade sliced at Diggle's shoulder.

"You're still Oliver. I don't care if the hood is black or green – you're still you!" Diggle shouted at Oliver, and Felicity felt like her entire world was falling apart. The two men she relied on most were facing off, one of them clearly about to do the other ill.

It was then that an arrow sliced through the air, the soft ' _thwick_ ' preceding the arrow burying itself into Oliver's arm, prompting him to wince in pain (and Felicity too; sympathy pain was _definitely_ a thing).

"Get away from him!"

Thea's voice rang out from the shadows overhead and Felicity glanced up to catch sight of the girl, looking every bit resplendent in her hand-me-down getup from Roy. "Get away from him or the next one goes in your eye." Thea growled and Felicity didn't doubt the veracity of the younger woman's threat.  _Mental note to baby - don't upset your Aunt Thea. She's a badass._

Oliver, however, merely stared at Thea and with a deft flick of his wrist, used his sword to cut the arrow in his arm, causing one piece to clatter to the floor before he ripped out the other piece and tossed it as casually as if it had been a mere splinter. With a final glare at his own sister, he stalked off, melting away into the shadows just as his men had done.

And all the while, Felicity was breaking. She was. But all that she could do in the moments that followed was to race towards Diggle, concern on her face as she threw herself down beside him, her hands touching on him questioningly.

"Are you alright?" She whispered and he nodded, his attention still on the spot where Oliver had disappeared. Felicity followed his gaze, breathing heavily as she tried to swallow down the emotion welling in her throat.

Oliver, her kind hearted Oliver, had become the monster he had always feared he was.

When it seemed safe to move, she helped Diggle up and with a nod of gratitude, he went to Lyla to ensure that she was alright. Laurel was rising stiffly, seeming in one piece except for perhaps a bruised pride at having been bested. But if her pride was wounded, Felicity's was hemorrhaging; their not so brilliant plan had nearly gotten Diggle killed and they'd _still_  lost Nyssa. Oh and you know, Thea had shot her brother. With an arrow. _In the arm._ Not exactly a banner day for Team Arrow.

It was Thea that Felicity went to now, still standing in the metal scaffolding that had provided her the vantage point necessary to come to their aid. She looked… _haunted_.  _Broken_.  _Devastated._ All the emotions that Felicity could have claimed herself. 

"Thea?" Felicity breathed softly as the younger woman stared off into the dark blankly, looking completely shattered. Without a word of acknowledgement, the brunette dropped to the ground in a nimble leap and without making eye contact, she slung her bow over her shoulder.

"Can we go home now… Please?" She exhaled and Felicity bit her lip but nodded, trailing along after the Queen girl with a heavy heart, John, Lyla, and Laurel falling into step with them. This time, there was no witty banter as the team literally limped home.

\-----

By the time they reconvened at Palmer Technologies, Felicity felt sick to her stomach and she was pretty sure it had nothing to do with morning sickness or hormones. As Diggle's words rang and rolled about in her head ( _he's gone_ ), she tried to breathe, tried to think, tried to _see_. Because suddenly, even those previously simple things now felt incredibly difficult.

A world without Oliver though? That was not _difficult_. That was _unconscionable._  

"There's only one thing left of him now." Diggle stated solemnly to the gathered remnants of Team Arrow, his eyes sliding over Felicity as he paused and amended his statement. " _Two_ things left of him." He corrected gently as he and Felicity shared a knowing look.

Laurel, still unaware of Felicity's 'mother-to-be status', was across the room as she watched Diggle make his statement, her expression wearied and forlorn.

"And what two things would that be?" She inquired haggardly, and Felicity's heart ached for Laurel, Laurel who had so desperately needed a "W". Laurel who had lost not only a friend and mentor in Nyssa, but a precious link to her late sister. Felicity felt Diggle's eyes return to her, questioning, and she gave the barest shake of her head. _No_. Not now. Not like this. She would find another way – another time – to tell Laurel. But not here. Not with all that had happened.

"Us." Diggle responded quietly but with such vindication that even Laurel didn't question his seemingly flawed counting. The beleaguered group stared at each other across the room and then Thea of all people spoke.

"Gone but never forgotten." She said the words with a pained reverence that cut Felicity to the quick. Judging by the expressions of Laurel and Diggle, they were similarly impacted by Thea's words. They were eulogizing their best friend – and he wasn't even dead.

How cruel could things get?

On second thought, no. Felicity didn't want to ask that question; knowing karma, she'd answer by showing Felicity just how much worse it was possible for her world to become. And that was really not an attractive option given that she already felt as though she were on rock bottom.

"I'm going to go." Thea said suddenly, collecting her things and striding for the door. The action snapped Felicity back to the present, jarring her out of her thoughts.

"I'll go after her." Felicity stated with quiet determination, glancing from Laurel to Diggle. For a moment, the two friends exchanged a long, knowing look and John nodded in understanding. They could – and would – talk later. There was much that needed deciding. Where they went from here was a question for another time though. For now, Felicity needed to tend to the small scraps of family she had. And that meant going after Thea.

So it was that Felicity found herself in the elevator leading up to Thea's loft a scant forty five minutes later, a shopping bag from the corner store in one hand, a bottle of water in the other. Apparently being pregnant meant developing a constant need for hydration. And a bladder with the limited capacity of a thimble. Shifting her weight from side to side, Felicity urged the elevator upward.

It wouldn't be too rude to rush in and use the bathroom before she'd even said hello, would it?

_Always asking the hard hitting questions. Atta girl, Smoak_.

When the elevator doors finally _dinged_ and began to slide open, Felicity rushed out and made for the door to the loft, knocking tentatively. She was practically dancing in place as she waited for an answer that didn't come. After a prolonged period of time that felt like decades but was probably no more than ten seconds, she knocked again, cursing her bladder for being so small, and water bottles for being too large. (Seriously. No one needed one liter of water at a time. Well, except for athletes maybe. Or people lost in the desert. Or- no. Better not go down this train of thought).

"Thea?" Felicity called as she poked her head cautiously inside the loft, her heart catching as she caught sight of the young girl sitting forlornly on the couch. Slipping inside, she took a deep breath and spoke to announce her entrance. "The door was open. Sorry to interrupt your 'staring into nothingness'." Felicity apologized softly, seeing so much of her own sorrow reflected in Thea in that moment that she ached in a way that had nothing to do with her nearly bursting bladder.

Silence grew between the two that Oliver had counted as the two most important women in his life, and then:

"He should have let me die." Thea's voice was hollow, as if her grief had wrung the emotion from her and left her empty and devoid of feeling.

"That was never an option." Felicity intervened quickly, setting down her bag and beginning to slowly walk deeper into the loft as she attempted to comfort Oliver's little sister, her need for a bathroom suddenly forgotten. She felt such a profound sense of heartache for Thea – perhaps it was empathy, perhaps it was misplaced grief, Felicity wasn't sure. But whatever the matter, she was keenly aware of two things – Thea was suffering immensely and Felicity had told Oliver she would care for the girl. She would not fail him.

Flapping her arms as she walked towards the couch, Felicity added.  "… That's why I love him."

"I didn't know… " Thea intoned quietly, tilting her head subtly towards Felicity, a small motion but one that showed Felicity that Thea was slowly coming back to the present. Her attention, however distant, meant that she was leaving her 'staring into nothingness' to come back to reality. And that was good. "…About you and my brother. I knew how you each felt, that much was clear but… I didn't know that you were ever actually… together." Thea confessed, sounding both sad and a little hurt at the notion.

"Yeah well… It was complicated." Felicity murmured as she seated herself alongside Thea, watching as the girl craned her neck a bit to look at Felicity in her peripheral vision. "But I did love him… Despite everything, I still do." Felicity said the words with a soft reverence, a desperate need to reassure herself – and Thea – that it was alright to love him. Even in spite of everything.

Love was not an easy thing to kill, she was learning. And that was proving to be both a blessing and a curse.

"I do too." Thea whispered, turning her head away from Felicity as she resumed staring off ahead of herself, slowly sinking back into the despair that Felicity was all too familiar with. She'd been clawing herself out of that deep, dark pit each day. She knew how much of a struggle it could be. "How is that even possible?" Thea asked, her voice taking on a harsher edge even as it cracked, "-after what he's-"

"-become?" Felicity offered, staring intently at the back of Thea's head and resisting the urge to wrap the girl into a hug. "I don't know. But I think John's right. I think we have to remember the best parts of him and we have to move on." She forced a dim smile but even to Felicity's own ears, her words were leaden. In answer, Thea stirred, pushing herself off of the couch and away from Felicity's none-too-convincing tales.

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" Thea asked, unable to keep the critical, albeit emotional, edge out of her voice and failing.

"Both of us. I don't know how but we have to go on living." Felicity stated pointedly, her voice growing firmer and surer as she draped one hand across her stomach, lending strength from the sliver of Oliver she carried with her now. And it was ridiculous, to think that a baby only a few weeks past conception could give her strength.

Her baby was a collection of cells, a mere blastocyst that had only recently taken up residence in her uterus, according to her pregnancy app. But it was so, _so_ much more. It was Oliver, it was a tiny bit of his heart, his soul, everything that made him 'him'. And it was with her now, always. Taking a breath, one hand still on her stomach, she plunged on. "That's what Oliver… 'Ollie' would want for you – to move on, to live, to be with the one that you love while you still can."

_While you still have the luxury_ , Felicity thought to herself sadly.

"Roy's gone so…" Thea trailed off and in that moment, the hopelessness the girl radiated made Felicity feel like she might be ill. Actually, physically ill. Standing, she fidgeted with her hands before her as she approached Thea, watching the girl intently.

"You've had a lot on your plate and I've been trying to think of the right time to tell you this… Roy's alive." Felicity announced, watching as the lights seemed to turn back on in Thea's eyes, her whole expression changing at the momentous news being presented to her. Barreling ahead, afraid she might lose courage if she stopped, Felicity explained the rest in a ramble that quickly picked up speed. "We faked his death, it's a long story, as most 'fake death stories' are, and we were going to tell you, I promise, but then you were busy being mostly dead and then Oliver signed on to become Darth Oliver."

"Wh-…I don't"

"He's starting a new life." Felicity continued, plucking the paper from her pocket and handing it over to Thea, all the while praying that her hands weren't trembling as badly as she thought they were. The very idea of losing Thea made her want to vomit. But if being with Roy was what the younger girl wanted, Felicity knew that the karma, the world, _the universe_  owed Thea at least this small sliver of happiness. And Roy deserved it too. So even if it cost Felicity some of the only family she had left, even if it cost her unborn child a doting aunt… She would do this Because it was the right thing to do. It was what was best for Thea, for Roy... and it was what Oliver would have wanted.

And besides that, it was what Felicity wanted. For Thea to be happy.

"… One that hopefully includes you." Felicity stated simply after Thea took the paper. After a beat, Felicity laid her hand on Thea's softly as the brunette met her gaze, overcome with emotion. "…If you want it." Felicity added, pressing her lips together and attempting a smile even as she felt her own heart breaking. It seemed so unfair that she could have gained a sister, only to lose her three weeks later.

But nothing about any of this had proven fair.

Releasing Thea's hand, Felicity walked away, leaving Oliver's sister by the massive glass windows at the front of the loft so that she could go back to the front door, just inside of which Felicity had left the bag from the grocery store. Plucking it up from the ground, she wordlessly closed the front door and pointedly locked it before moving to the kitchen, giving Thea time and space to make sense of the bomb Felicity had just dropped on her. Setting the bag on the kitchen counter, she made a quick detour for the bathroom, resisting the urge to sing out ' _at last'_ when she was finally able to relieve her overworked little bladder.

Pregnancy. It was taking her to new lows of mental (and verbal) oversharing. As if she hadn't already been bad enough about that. _Ah well_.

Returning to the kitchen, Felicity craned her neck for a glimpse of Thea, still standing frozen in the living room. And no small wonder why; she would need time to process. Felicity understood that, respected it. But in the meantime, Felicity wasn't about to leave. If Thea chose Roy, then Felicity's time with her was limited and she wasn't going to miss out on the opportunity to steal a few quiet moments with her child's aunt.

Besides, she'd made a promise that they'd have ice cream. And Felicity made good on her promises.

Going to the freezer, she pulled a carton of Rocky Road ice cream from the bag and placed it inside to await Thea. For herself, she pulled out a carton of mint chocolate chip and after a little searching, she took a spoon from the utensil drawer. Without bothering with bowls (really, this was a 'straight from the carton' kind of night if ever there was one), Felicity tucked into her ice cream, popping the first bite into her mouth and swallowing it down lickety split before she began to scoop up a second spoonful.

That proved a mistake.

"Oh my gosh." She muttered, coughing as the ice cream seemed to turn on her, the mint tasting sour on her tongue and making her stomach roil. Spluttering as she went to the sink, she tried to gulp down water from the faucet, intently swishing it through her mouth like mouthwash as she attempted to rid herself of the taste.

When her stomach lurched and made an angry sound, she clutched her middle fearfully, blinking in disbelief as the sensation struck her. She had time enough to make a mad dive for the trash bin before she heaved, shoulders quivering as she emptied the contents of her stomac. She was still half in the trash when Thea came running in a few moments later, just in time to see Felicity heave again.

"Please tell me that this is some pregnant lady sickness and not food poisoning from the ice cream or something because I was really looking forward to that Rocky Road." Thea remarked teasingly as Felicity drew away from the trash, shooting the brunette a sharp glare, though her heart wasn't in it.

"Not funny."

"I thought so; I think it's a matter of perspective." Thea retorted, seemingly having shaken off some of her detached, emotionally fraught confusion as she stepped forward, helping Felicity collect her hair into a ponytail as the blonde slid to sit on the floor of the kitchen, a sheen of sweat gleaming off her skin as she panted softly.

"Better?" Thea asked and Felicity nodded slowly, her stomach still not feeling entirely steady. "Was that just morning sickness or something, or should I be calling an ambulance?" Thea asked more seriously and Felicity shook her head as she tried to breathe deeply.

"No ambulance; food aversion is a symptom of pregnancy at this stage." Felicity explained weakly, turning to stare at the carton of mint chocolate chip. "Although I have to say, this is the most cruel aversion imaginable."

"Really? Ice cream is the worst one imaginable?" Thea commented in amusement as she offered Felicity a hand to help the blonde up off the floor. Felicity fixed the brunette with a stern look over her glasses and nodded solemnly.

"Yes! It's _mint_ chocolate, Thea. How can my baby be against _mint chocolate_?!" Felicity queried, throwing her hands up in disbelief. In response, Thea only frowned at Felicity uncomprehendingly.

"Yeah, so?"

"Mint. Chocolate. Thea – _MINT CHOCOLATE_." Felicity emphasized, grabbing up the ice cream box in question off of the counter. "It's green! How does this baby not like green ice cream?! If you put together Oliver's true love and mine you would get Mint Chocolate Ice Cream." Felicity elaborated, prompting Thea to quirk a brow at her.

"Really? Combining Oliver and your true loves gives us mint chocolate ice cream? 'Cause I'm pretty sure combining your two 'true loves' is what got us my little niece or nephew in the first place." Thea smirked as she moved to the sink, wetting one of the kitchen towels before she brought it back to Felicity and dabbed her forehead gently.

"I'm just saying… Listen kid, there's two things you need to know about this family – we like ice cream and we like the color green. We like those _a lot_. It's non-negotiable." Felicity stated sternly, wagging a chastising finger at her own stomach as she disciplined her unborn child.

Pausing, she winced and smacked a palm to her forehead, feeling suddenly dreadful.

"I mean, unless you're like, lactose intolerant or something. Then I mean, you don't have to eat ice cream. I'm not a monster, I swear. You know what? I'm going to shut up now before you decide that I'm like… the worst mother _ever._ Like what you want. Your dad and I are going to support you  no matter what." Felicity rambled, eliciting a soft chuckle from Thea, who shook her head as she patted Felicity's back and began to guide the blonde out of the kitchen and back to the couch.

After fetching the Rocky Road and a spoon for herself, Thea joined Felicity on the couch, clicking on the TV and tossing a blanket onto the couch for the pair to share as they curled up next to one another for quiet support and companionship.

"I knew you didn't agree." Thea remarked quietly once they were a quarter of the way through the carton of ice cream. (Rocky Road was proving much more friendly to Felicity's stomach, it seemed).

"Didn't agree with what?" Felicity remarked, diverting her eyes from the TV, where Thea had turned on a rerun of some sort of reality show.

"With Mister Diggle. When he said that Ollie was gone."

"He is gone." Felicity responded automatically, her voice hollowing as she said the words, but Thea only shook her head, a small spark of light in her eyes as she watched Felicity.

"Maybe you think that logically, but not emotionally."

"Thea-" Felicity warned, but the brunette plunged on before the other woman could continue.

"Back there, when you were talking to the baby? You said 'your dad and I are going to support you'. You're still holding out hope that he'll come back. That he'll get to be a dad." Thea stated simply, offering a small smile. Felicity blanched and made a point of taking a bite of ice cream to buy herself time to think before she responded.

She hadn't realized she'd said that. Hadn't realized the truth of Thea's words until just now. And no matter how she tried to tell herself that Oliver was gone and he wasn't coming back, Felicity knew Thea was right.

As long as Oliver was alive, Felicity was going to harbor some small shred of hope, no matter how ill-advised, that he could come back from this. That he could come back to _them_.

"I'm always going to hope for that." She admitted faintly, speaking slowly as she strung the words together with great care. "Every night since I found out that I was pregnant, I keep dreaming of him. Of _us_. And we're together, all of us. And we're happy. And there's this beautiful little baby with his hair and my eyes and he's holding it and he's _so happy_ …" Felicity rambled, trailing off as she lost herself in the images her dreams had woven of an Oliver practically radiant with joy, the veritable sun in her picturesque little world.

"It's just this quiet little dream that I keep to myself. Because it helps me get out of bed each day." Felicity murmured, poking her spoon aimlessly at the ice cream in the carton. "But even though I _hope_ that he comes back, I can't live my life _waiting_ for him to." Felicity stated softly, turning to look at Thea. "And neither can you."


	5. Chapter 5

She'd stayed at Thea's until the wee hours of the morning, when the brunette had finally fallen asleep, the Rocky Road ice cream having been demolished and much TV watched. Easing out from beneath her (Thea had fallen asleep curled up against her) Felicity had covered the girl in a blanket and turned off the TV, then slipped out of the apartment, which she locked behind her with the spare set of keys Thea had given her.

It had felt good to spend time with Thea, bonding and to some extent, wallowing in their shared pain. But it had also hurt – a lot. Felicity was acutely aware of the gnawing hole in her heart that Oliver had once occupied with his magnanimous spirit and his rare, soft smiles. And now, as she walked back to her car, heels clicking on the tile of the lobby floor, there was only one place that Felicity wanted to be.

Mindlessly, she found herself driving there, the one place that really and truly had felt like 'home', not so long ago.

The Foundry was in shambles still; the sight of it, overturned, stripped half bare, and broken, would have been enough to make her tear up on a good day. Her precious computers gone or destroyed, all her hard work of encrypting and erasing files having been necessary but painful nonetheless.

But to see the Foundry – her _home_ , her haven, the place where she had found purpose – looking as rough and empty as she felt now? _And_ for Oliver to feel so very lost to her?

It was more than she could bear.

The tears came fast, pouring down her cheeks in trails of ruin as she collapsed into a chair, no longer attempting to hold herself together. She had been as strong as she could be for the others before but now? Now she let the tape and glue and string holding her together fall apart, leaving her vulnerable and raw as she cried her heart out. And it felt _good_ to cry because she'd been trying so hard not to (with limited success, sure but still, she'd _tried_ not to).  But it didn't lessen the weight crushing her chest, it didn't lessen her grief, and it certainly would not bring Oliver back.

When at last she had cried until she could cry no more, Felicity began to stir, her body feeling stiff after so much time spent hunched over in the chair, given over to her grief. But the time for grieving had come and gone now. She had to be strong again; for their baby.

Looking around the darkened space, Felicity sighed as she lowered a hand to her stomach, massaging it tenderly.

"This is where it all started, kiddo." She breathed softly, daubing at her eyes with her free hand. And it didn't matter that her baby couldn't technically hear her yet. She was speaking to it for her own benefit as much as the baby's. And maybe, once the baby _could_ hear, she'd play audio tapes of Oliver for it - she had audio files of him saved away on a hard drive, somewhere. 

But those were thoughts for another time. For now, she wanted to share this place, these memories, this _home_ with her unborn child. 

"Your dad started everything – all of it – right here. This is where our family's story starts." She exhaled reverently, taking a slow, deep inhale as she looked around the familiar space. Even amidst so much chaos and anxiety and fear and stress, the foundry had always been home. It was the place where her relationship with Oliver - whatever they might have been - had started. This was where their family - her, Digg, and Oliver - had begun. And it was here that she had come to remember him, now that he seemed so very lost to her.

The foundry was where it had all begun. And in a way, that made this consecrated ground. Or at least, it did in her opinion.

\-----

"I hate when they run!" Diggle growled loudly into the comms as Felicity listened in, smirking from her seat in the Palmer Technologies tower. It wasn't the Foundry by any means, but they'd been able to use it as a base of operations in their continued efforts to keep Starling safe. Rising to her feet, she strode to a different computer terminal, attempting to offer John a silver lining as she went.

"Well, at least you're getting your cardio workout in! I still have 40 minutes on an elliptical in my near future." She commented wryly, eliciting a low chuckle on the other end of the comms.

"You sure that's wise?"

"Really? You're going to ask me that? Look at your wife and what her activity level looked like and then tell me that my 40 minutes of mere elliptical work is bad." Felicity teased lightly, careful not to say anything too telling with Laurel also on the line. Though it had been over a week since the ill-fated meeting with Oliver and the League, Felicity still had yet to tell Laurel. Or anyone outside of Lyla, Diggle, and Thea, for that matter.

"Touché." Digg responded, going silent as he raced after their marks. Felicity listened as he caught up to them and with a little Canary Cry help from Laurel, the two began to make quick work of the group. Though there were still many bumps in the road as the team tried to adjust to their new norm, Diggle and Laurel were beginning to find a healthy rhythm that lent itself moderately well to their newly forged partnership. As Felicity watched using security camera footage, they dispatched of the men with relative ease, until all of them were down and out.

And yet, Digg was still punching the man he had grabbed last, his hands curled into some seriously pain-inducing fists as he rained blow after blow down on the man.

"John I think he gives up!" Felicity cried across the comms, watching as her friend continued to wail on the man's limp form. "John! _John!_ " She all but screeched, watching the man she considered a friend as he finally curtailed his aggression enough to stop using the unconscious (or near to) man as a punching bag.

He was still angry and flexing his bruised and battered knuckles into and out of a fist some time later when the team reconvened at the Diggle apartment. Felicity had arrived first, not waiting to be invited in once John had opened the door and instead, helping herself to the kitchen as she went to fix him an ice compress.

Well, _tried_ to fix him an ice compress. As she rifled through his freezer she couldn't help but cluck her tongue disapprovingly. One week without his wife and the man was living off of TV dinners and had absolutely no ice – bagged or in trays or otherwise.

"If you end up being a boy, we're going to have a conversation about acceptable eating habits and kitchen etiquette. Actually, we'll have that conversation regardless of gender." Felicity muttered to the baby, just in time for Laurel to appear through the kitchen window, sans mask and wig.

"Were you talking to me or yourself?" Laurel inquired a little breathlessly and Felicity went stock still, a bag of frozen peas clutched in one hand and the freezer door handle in the other.

"Myself." She squeaked, offering Laurel a nervous smile. "But um, welcome! And we should ah… go check on Digg." Felicity gave a nervous laugh and swept her hand before her in a gesture that signaled Laurel should go first. Quirking a brow Felicity's way, the brunette acquiesced, but Felicity could tell Laurel knew something was amiss. Taking a deep, steadying breath, Felicity quickly closed the freezer before marching back to the living room, bemoaning John's lack of ice as she rounded the corner.

"You're out of ice. How can you be out of ice? Here." Felicity offered, handing him the bag of peas as she moved past him to seat herself on the couch, trying _very_ hard to affect a calm disposition. Unfortunately, 'calm' had been rather absent from her emotional repertoire as of late. 

"Thanks." Diggle responded quietly, putting the peas to his battered hand as Felicity watched on with an approving look.

"Okay so the night's young and there's a meth dealer working a corner on Fulton." Laurel commented with directness and an urgency that bespoke her desire to get back in the field. She was clearly not concerned by Diggle's behavior the way that Felicity was. Unable to help the way she jerked in response to Laurel's words, Felicity bristled at the notion of Digg going back out, but even he seemed oblivious as he responded to Laurel.

"Sounds good."

_Good? Good? No it very fracking well did not!_

"Actually it doesn't." Felicity interrupted curtly, feeling entirely too mom-like as she took it upon herself to chastise Digg, despite him being the field veteran as well as her elder by several years. "You were _completely_ unhinged out there tonight, Digg." Felicity continued, ignoring Laurel as she turned her back to the pair for the conversation. "You're in denial about how angry you are." Felicity stated, only for her friend to bristle at her words.

"No Felicity, I'm not in denial." He countered, slamming the peas down on the table as he rose, his body quivering with a rage that had been barely contained, simmering just beneath the surface but now had begun to overflow. She felt herself jump, startled by the suddenness of his actions but she sat in place, refusing to budge on this issue."But I _am_ angry!" Diggle commented.

Laurel moved back to observe them, her eyes sliding uneasily over Diggle before they flicked to Felicity to be certain she was alright. Giving an almost imperceptible nod, Felicity focused on Digg as Laurel did the same, waiting for him to continue.

"Oliver… he was my best friend. And he kidnapped my wife." He labored with the words and it was plain that each one cut him deeply. It was as if voicing what Oliver had done made the actions worse, made them more _real_. But that was no excuse.

"And you think that justifies hospitalizing people?" Felicity retorted hotly, her own anger detectable too, but controlled, still far more subdued than his own rage.

"No Felicity, it doesn't. You're right and it won't happen again." Diggle assured her but Felicity wasn't entirely convinced. They were all emotionally worn thin; it would be all too easy for any of them to snap.

But she had to trust him. He was her family, her partner. Trust was the only thing they had to separate them from the monsters. And as Oliver's betrayal had proven, that hard won trust was too important for her to disregard it now. But that didn't mean she couldn't scold him a little more. Since he deserved it.

Ugh. She was so going to be the rule enforcer parent. Oliver was going to be the fun one. Or…well, he would have been.

_So not the time_. She reminded herself with more than a small twinge of pain as she swallowed and spoke again to her friend.

"I'm not saying that life doesn't suck right now but you can't go around the city taking it out on every criminal you see." She stated firmly, only for Laurel to pipe up, seeming more than a little miffed by Felicity's words. _Uh oh_.

"How can you out of all people be so sanguine after what happened last week?" Laurel demanded and Felicity could hear the anger and the hurt that the Black Canary felt over the loss of Nyssa even a week removed from the meeting that had led to the assassin's capture.

"Because I know that _that_ wasn't Oliver." Felicity stated solemnly, prompting John to fix her with a knowing, sad look.

"Now who's in denial?" He questioned gently and Felicity couldn't help that her voice broke with emotion as she turned away from them and tried to collect herself, feeling more than a little ganged up on (or was this just hormones? It was so fracking hard to tell).

"It WASN'T! Our Oliver? _My_ Oliver died the day he joined the league. This is someone else." Felicity half shouted, feeling overwhelmed and ever so slightly ganged up on.

"You truly believe that?" Laurel countered, and Felicity couldn't help but feel as if she'd been slapped by the note of judgment in Laurel's tone. Her eyes slid to Diggle who was staring at her with an uneasy look, clearly worried that the stress of the argument might negatively impact her but Felicity only drew herself up, blinking back her tears.

"I have to." She stated simply, watching as understanding slowly dawned in Diggle's eyes. And she knew that he wouldn't likely accept her point of view and that was fine. But he did have to understand it. And judging by the look on his face, he did.

She couldn't accept that this Oliver was her Oliver. Because her Oliver? The father of her child? He would never, _ever_ have done what this Oliver had. And she had to believe that. Because if she couldn't? Well… it was too terrible to dwell on.

"Alright. Enough." Diggle intervened, putting a hand out to silence both women as Felicity and Laurel stood staring at each other from opposite sides of the room. Walking toward Felicity, he lowered his voice to a whisper so only she could hear him.

"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly and Felicity closed her e yes to take a deep breath and nodded. Despite Diggle's concerns, she wasn't made of glass; just because she was upset didn't mean she was going to fall over. Being pregnant didn't work that way. Or at least, she was pretty sure it didn't.

"I'm as okay as I'm going to get. I just… I have to think this way. I can't accept that my Oliver is the one doing those things. Because if he is, than that man? The one that abducted Lyla? He's the one whose baby I'm carrying. And I don't think I can handle _that."_ Felicity sighed heavily and Diggle wrapped her into a one armed hug. Pressing a gentle kiss atop her head, he glanced at her reassuringly.

"So that's not your Oliver. If that's what you need to believe… Then I support that." He stated solemnly, this time loudly enough for Laurel to overhear him. With a glance at Laurel to ensure she wasn't going to say anything more, he turned and walked away, leaving Felicity shaken but alright, relatively speaking. Laurel remained behind, looking at Felicity without either understanding or acceptance but at least a clear desire to avoid further conflict.

"You may have to… But I don't. And I can't." Laurel breathed softly, not trying to incite further confrontation but clearly feeling that it was important Felicity understand her side too. And she did – really, she did. Laurel had now lost not only her sister, but one of the few remaining links to her in the form of Nyssa. To say that it was a loss would be an understatement.

But it was also a drastic understatement to say that Felicity had experienced a 'loss' in Oliver. She'd lost so much more than just a friend. She'd lost a partner. The person who'd given her purpose. Someone she'd trusted. Not to mention a lover and the father of her child.

'Loss' didn't even begin to cut it.

Nodding to show she'd heard and understood Laurel's words, Felicity turned and quietly gathered her things. Without trying to explain herself further, she slipped from the Diggle apartment and made a beeline for Palmer Technologies. As upset as she was, some good old fashion hacking would do her good. Maybe she could bankrupt a mob boss or a drug dealer and use the funds to make a sizable donation to a Starling City charity. Or maybe she'd search the security cameras and police scanners for word of anything resembling League of Assassins activity. Not that the League was going to trifle with amateurs of SCPD's caliber but still. If she could pick up chatter, maybe she could devise some sort of plan to get back and de-brainwash Oliver.

Her mind thus occupied, she was most than a little distracted as she entered into the makeshift foundry at the top of Palmer Technologies Tower. She was so distracted, in fact, that she was completely oblivious to the presence of another person on the executive floor until she caught a glimpse of the suit that indicated Ray had made it back from his trip to Central City.

As if on cue, the man in question popped his head out from behind the suit and flashed her a toothy smile.

"Hey." He said softly as he stepped away from the suit, temporarily done with his tinkering, it seemed.

"You got it to fly… what more do you want?"She queried, her voice brought low by the burden of her emotional baggage even as she attempted a halfhearted joke. As she stared at the suit  that had, in many ways, brought her closer to Ray, she couldn't help but wonder if she had done right to help him with the suit. These days, her record for helping vigilantes was a losing one. Ray however, was smiling as he looked back to the suit with a fondness Felicity had seen Oliver look upon his bow and arrows with.

_Boys and their toys._

"Well true art is never finished – it's only abandoned. _Plus_ I had this little idea I just couldn't kick." He rambled by way of explanation, quickly shifting conversational gears as he caught a better glimpse of her. "You okay? You have this little cloud that keeps following you around." He explained, miming a cloud as he looked at her.

"Yeah." She said simply as she took a breath as she tried to come up with the simplest explanation. "Something happened while you were away… _Several_ somethings, actually." She sighed and flapped her arms half in defeat and half out of a lack of words to adequately begin to fill him in. So she settled for:  "I'm just handling it. Or trying to, anyway."

"Is it Oliver related?" He asked uneasily, answering himself in a quick, nervous ramble as soon as the question had left his lips. "It's Oliver related." He nodded to himself, not needing any confirmation on her part. "If you want to talk about it-" He offered softly and Felicity shook her head sharply.

"Maybe we shouldn't cross that line." She warned faintly, sniffling despite herself. "It's a long story anyway."

A long story that started with a bullet riddled laptop and ended with a positive pregnancy test.

"Well if you change your mind I have time and hey-" He paused and caught her eye to be sure she heard him, holding her almost hypnotized in place as he stared at her, "you're my friend I'm _always_ going to be there for you. It's non-negotiable."

The fact that he was still so open and eager to maintain their friendship was both endearing and painful. Here was a man who wanted to be with her, who had told her he loved her without fear of how the life he led would interfere, who wanted her as his partner and yet…

She couldn't love him back. Not the way that he deserved. And he was still this kind to her.

She felt a sad smile spread across her face as she nodded. There was something immensely reassuring about having someone out there who was her friend and who was not angry over her perspective on the 'Oliver Situation' as she'd come to mentally refer to it as.

"Thanks Ray." She replied a little hoarsely as silence lapsed between them. It was a short lived silence, however, as Ray turned toward one of the computer terminals.

"So, while I'm waiting to do something for you there's a little something that _you_ can do for _me._ Sign here and here." He indicated as he passed along a stack of papers to her which Felicity gave a perfunctory glance, seeing but not absorbing any of the words on the page.

"'Kay." She responded, motioning for him to turn around, which he promptly did so he could act as her human writing surface. With a quick turn of the pen, she'd signed in the indicated areas and was quickly handing him back the papers.

"What's this for?" She asked, feeling more than a little distracted.

"Just a little corporate stuff, Miss Vice President." He beamed at her just as her phone buzzed. Grabbing it up swiftly, Felicity silenced the notification and pulled up the new message.

"Everything okay?" Ray asked softly as she looked at her phone and a shadow fell over her face as she read the message that was summoning her away. Taking a deep breath, she tried to clear her head to form a coherent response but she could already feel the mental word vomit brewing in her head.

_Well, I'm pregnant, Oliver's gone off to join the League of Assassins so that they would bring his dead sister back to life. And they did and Thea's alive and okay now, but now the League brainwashed Oliver and he's a completely different, very not good person, but other than that, yeah, everything is okay_. She thought with a huff before turning her eyes up to meet his, only to find Ray's face frozen in surprise that quickly melted into concern.

"Oh frack." She whispered as she stared at him, panic rising in her throat (or was that vomit? Or both? Probably both, her morning sickness was so not toning it down these days). "I said that out loud, didn't I?" She asked nervously, though his reaction made it plain what his answer would be.

Ray nodded faintly, his eyes still wide and vaguely bulging as he stared at her in an expression that was sheer surprise.

"More frack." She whispered, furious with herself and also utterly horrified. He was so _not_ the next person she had wanted to tell and that was so _not_ how she had wanted him to find out this news.

"Felicity-" Ray began and she held a hand aloft to stop him before he'd started. And instead of saying what she'd been about to, she grabbed for the wastepaper bin and promptly emptied her stomach.

Good. Because this hadn't been mortifying enough already. _Seriously little archer? Can you please cut me and my stomach some slack?_ She thought to herself as she massaged her stomach as a cold sweat broke out over her body.

"Felicity."

Ray's voice was soft as he knelt on the floor beside her as she continued to clutch the waste bin to her stomach, her eyes closed as she focused on breathing. And on ignoring the fact that she'd just blew chunks in front of her billionaire ex-boyfriend boss.

" _Felicity_." Ray persisted, his voice gentle but firm as he tried to gain her attention. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at him with a wince, though he answered it with a smile. "There. Just focus on me. Breathe. You're fine." He assured her as he put an arm behind her. "We're going to stand up, that's a girl." He encouraged as he helped her to the nearest chair and seated her in it promptly. "And now we're gonna sit." He narrated as he stepped back from her with a half smile before he turned and went to the suit.

"Ray, please tell me you aren't going to try and fly me to the hospital in your suit. Because I appreciate the gesture but I really don't think flying is going to help the nausea right now… or the staying not splattered on the sidewalk thing… No offense!" She added as an afterthought, smacking her forehead dully as she leaned back in the chair with a groan.

"No offense taken." Ray beamed as he returned with an item she didn't recognize in his hand. "I wasn't going for the suit, I promise. It couldn't help us right now anyway – at least, not yet. But post tinkering?" He grinned and cocked his head to the side before he seemed to remember why he had come back to her and refocused. "But _this_ can help us. It's part of the facial scanning software in the suit. It's medically focused though. I designed it to be a diagnostic aid for physicians but I figure it will do for now, since we're in a pinch." Ray gave a laughing exhale and touched a few buttons, prompting a blue light to shine from the small, remote like object. He waved it close by Felicity, allowing the light to scan over her from head to roughly her knees, since she was seated, and then he withdrew the device and tapped a few more keys.

"And what exactly is this diagnostic aid going to tell us?" Felicity asked weakly, only for Ray to glance up and look her over for a minute before hitting a few more keys.

"A lot of things. But for now? It'll let me know that you both are okay." He shrugged and Felicity smiled despite the enormous potential for discomfort that this entire situation had.

"Thank you, Ray." She murmured softly as the tool beeped and flashed green. Smiling, Ray set the tool down and nodded.

"Anytime." He assured, looking at the tool's small screen before he offered her his hand. "It seems to think you're both okay. Are you feeling better?" He asked and Felicity nodded.

"Well enough." She murmured, taking his hand and rising to unsteady feet. "I um… I have to go." She motioned for the elevator and Ray shifted to block her path, his brows turned down.

"Felicity wait. I… I have to ask…" He trailed off, looking moderately uncomfortable  as he regarded her, twiddling his fingers nervously. "Is it… Is it mine? …The baby, that is. Is it- Am I the father?" He asked with an anxious lilt to his voice, his eyes bright as he regarded her and Felicity swallowed.

"Oh Ray," she gulped again, her eyes latched onto his as she seemed to forget what air was, "-no. No, it's not. I-It's... It's Oliver's." She confessed, watching as the light in his eyes quickly went out and he nodded, ducking his head as he cleared his throat once for good measure before he flashed her a forced smile.

"Right. Well, if it makes you feel better, that doesn't change  anything about what just happened." He offered nervously with a slight inclination of his head towards the papers she'd just signed. She began to follow his gaze, only for him to stand and divert her attention.

"I mean about me being concerned. Because I am. Concerned. About both of you. Whether it's my baby or not I want you both to be healthy and safe." He rambled and despite his obvious discomfort, she could tell he was being honest; Ray did care. He was that kind of guy – it was one of the reason's she'd liked him to begin with.

"If you need anything – _anything_ – just say the word." He murmured in a low voice, looking at her with soft eyes and a genuine, small smile.

"Thank you." She breathed, rising to her feet as she clutched her purse to her, looking at Ray with renewed appreciation. "That… that means a lot. Really. The last few weeks have been difficult. At best." She confessed, shifting uneasily before him. "But I appreciate you being here for me. For us." She amended quickly, wincing out of fear that mention of the baby might be like salt in the wound but if Ray was bothered by it, he made no outward show of it.

"That's what friends are for, right?" Ray stated softly and Felicity nodded, laying a hand over his in a warm gesture of familiarity.

"Right." She agreed, holding his gaze for a moment before she shook her head. "I um – I really do have to go." She stated apologetically and Ray nodded, his lips pulling into a shy smile.

"Right. Oliver stuff? It's Oliver stuff." He intoned with a low chuckle as he once more answered his own question. Felicity looked at him with a diffident expression and nodded faintly.

"Yeah. Something like that." Felicity sighed before turned and made for the elevator, doing her very best not to dwell on the fact that she'd probably just torn up Ray's heart to shreds. And on top of that, Malcolm _fracking_ Merlyn had summoned her like she was some Labrador Retriever he could whistle for and she'd come running at his every beck and call.

Yeah. No. That would _not_ be happening.


	6. Chapter 6

"So now Malcolm Merlyn can summon us? I really don't like the idea that he can summon us." Felicity fumed as she stalked into the space where John and Laurel were already waiting, looking about as happy as a kid pre-wisdom tooth surgery.

Aka not at all excited.  

"Any idea what this is about?" Laurel queried dryly and John exhaled.

"No but Merlyn assures me that he'll be waving the white flag." He offered, sounding none too thrilled about the situation.

"I'm sorry I forgot the flag."

The familiar voice had Felicity's fingers curling into fists, her nails cutting deep half circles into her palms as she resisted the urge to punch Malcolm Merlyn's stupid smug face as it came into view. Fortunately, Laurel was on point in responding to the former League of Assassins member.

"That's too bad; I would have told you where you could put it." Laurel all but growled and Felicity had to hold back a victory screech and the desire to fist pump the air at Laurel's words.

_BOOM! Insert metaphorical mic drop here_! _That's one point Laurel, zero Merlyn._ Felicity thought with a small smirk that was dampened only by Malcolm's answering chuckle of amusement.

"What is this about Malcolm?" John cut in, the aggravation in his tone poorly disguised. None of them wanted to be here, talking with this man, of all people, and it showed.

"Well this isn't going to be easy for all of you to believe-" Merlyn began and Felicity rolled her eyes, unable (and unwilling) to bite her tongue.

"Only because you're a sociopath and a liar." She growled, only for Merlyn to continue, unfazed by her words. And of course he was unfazed. He was a mass murderer with absolutely no soul. Hearing the truth would have zero bearing on him.

"Be that as it may; this will be much quicker for all of us if we could fast forward through the cynicism and reach the conclusion that I am telling you the truth." He prefaced none too convincingly.

"About what?" Diggle hedged, wary.

"Oliver; his allegiance with the league is a charade."

Mentally, Felicity resisted the urge to slap him for pronouncing 'charade' like a snob, and instead she tried to begin to process his words. Because what he was saying? She was so not prepared for that right now.

"Why would you even begin to play with our emotions like that?" _Oh, right. Evil villain. That's why._

"This plan was born the moment Oliver realized that he had to capitulate to Ra's to save Thea." The former League member elaborated and Felicity rolled her eyes in disbelief.

"And instead of sharing this plan with us he trusted you?" Diggle's voice was brittle and snapping with anger, not all of which was directed at Merlyn. He was still furious with Oliver over what had transpired with Lyla – and Felicity couldn't begrudge him that.

"The man who had my sister murdered." Laurel added and Felicity shivered as Laurel stared down Merlyn. If anyone had a reason to loathe and distrust Malcolm, it was certainly Laurel. Laurel who had lost not only a sister, but a lover to this man. Tommy was yet another casualty of Malcolm Merlyn's insanity.

"Well I am better practiced in the art of deception and no offense - none of you are particularly good actors." Merlyn remarked snidely and Felicity could literally see Diggle's patience run dry.

"I'm out!" He growled, turning away from Merlyn with a toss of his hands, Felicity following his lead.

"You've seen for yourselves how dangerous Ra's and the League are. The circle of trust had to remain as small as possible." Malcolm argued.

_Circle of trust_. Oh and Merlyn was suddenly included in that? Malcolm Merlyn who had murdered hundreds of people in the city he had once called home? Malcolm Merlyn who had been the cause of his own son's death yet seemed unremorseful? Malcolm Merlyn who had forced Thea to unwittingly kill Sara?

Yeah. If there was a circle of trust that included him, Felicity wanted nothing to do with that circle.

"Until now? What changed?" Felicity challenged, unable to help but swallow nervously as her brain supplied an unrelated answer of its own.

_Well. I'm pregnant. That's a change alright._ But that wasn't the answer and she knew it. Because Oliver didn't know – couldn't know – so that couldn't possibly be his reason for having kept her – and the rest of them – in the dark. And besides, why was Merlyn letting them in on the whole 'charade' now? Why not weeks ago?

"Forget it, Felicity. There's nothing he could say that we could believe." Diggle growled, seemingly sensing her distress as he circled back for her, one hand on the small of her back as he began to guide her away from Merlyn.

"Mister Diggle is right. Which is why I've brought along a friend of Oliver's." Malcolm stated serenely. And then, as if on cue, a woman stepped out from the shadows, slight of build but enormous in the weight her presence seemed to carry.

"My name is Tatsu Yamashiro and your city is in great danger." Her voice was soft but it was a dangerous softness, like silk drapes covering finely honed steel blades. She was quiet but Felicity could sense that she was not a woman to take lightly.

Felicity for one, would make no such error. But even if she recognized the woman was strong, that didn't automatically make her trustworthy.

"You expect us to believe her? We never even met her – we never met her, right?" Felicity muttered through the corners of her mouth, hoping she hadn't just made a blunder. Because pregnancy brain? Yeah, it was totally a thing and it was _potent_.

"No." The quick assurance steeled Felicity's nerves and she held her head high as she stared down the woman, waiting for this "Tatsu' to prove herself. If that was even her real name; if she was in cahoots with Merlyn, there was no telling.

Ugh. Had she really just thought the word 'cahoots'? She was stooping to new vocabulary lows courtesy of Malcolm Merlyn, she now sounded like a cheesy Saturday morning cartoon dialogue. At least she hadn't said it aloud – small miracles did exist, it seemed.

"Apart from my brief time helping Oliver recover from the wounds Ra's al Ghul inflicted on him my life has been one of isolation." Tatsu answered the trio simply, looking none too bothered by their disbelief. Felicity felt one of her brows arch. _Convenient. She's been a loner? Why?_ Not that there was anything wrong with being alone – Felicity had nothing but respect for the introvert way of life but there was definitely something shady about a woman claiming to know Oliver from his five years away (although to be fair, from the sounds of it he'd met a lot of women – Shado, Sara, Waller – but she was digressing). The point was, there was something shady about this woman popping up like a magical band-aid to their problems.

"Okay Merlyn this is your big plan? A woman we've never met or even heard of?!"

"Oliver doesn't like to speak about the past."

There was so much happening, so much talking volleying back and forth and she had felt like her head was about to explode _before_ but now? Now she was afraid she was going to go off like an atomic bomb.

"Apparently he's not so forthcoming about the present either." Felicity griped sourly, glaring hard at Tatsu and Merlyn.

"My son was killed by the virus Ra's intends to use on your city." Tatsu answered Felicity's anger with leveled calm but her words sent Felicity reeling and unthinkingly, she turned away from the group, bringing a hand to cover her stomach at the mere notion of losing a child. How could anyone who had known that loss talk about it so calmly?

"Y-You're Akio's mother?" Behind her, Felicity heard Diggle pipe up, a note of surprise in his tone. Huh. So maybe there was a kernel of truth to this story after all.

"Oliver was with me when it happened. He knows that the danger you all face is very real."

"Okay you know what? How many times are we going to believe him after everything that he's done?" Laurel, a much needed voice of reason, interrupted Tatsu and Diggle.

"I am not privy to your history with Malcolm; this request comes from Oliver." Tatsu remarked and Felicity winced as she turned back to the group, her arms folded in front of her stomach in what she hoped seemed like a nonchalant gesture, but which was really more of a protective stance, her arms guarding her stomach and unborn child by association.

Not that that would protect either of them against a bio-weapon but still. She felt better for the small gesture.

"We're not sure that's any better at the moment." Diggle shot back, the anger and hurt still too fresh in his mind to take anything from Oliver without question or doubt.

"Look I am not playing a game here - my daughter lives in this city remember? This is everything I have on the bio-weapon. I've arranged passage for all of us to go to Nanda Parbat. If you're coming, be at Ferris Air before sunrise." Malcolm interrupted, his patience apparently exhausted. His tone left no room for discussion as he escorted Tatsu away from the trio, leaving them to contemplate the choice he had laid out before them.

Great. Because Felicity didn't already have enough on her plate. Now there was a bio-weapon and Malcolm Merlyn to weigh down her thoughts even further.

Turning to look at Laurel and Diggle, she saw the conflict they were feeling written on their faces and with a deep breath, she turned her focus to Diggle, seeking his guidance.

"What do we do?" She queried weakly, only for Diggle to glance at the tablet in his hand that Malcolm had passed to him.

"We prove this son of a bitch is lying to us and wash our hands of this whole thing." Diggle murmured quietly and Felicity, swallowing nervously, played devil's advocate.

"And if it's true?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Diggle surmised and Felicity nodded, falling into step behind her friend as they departed for Palmer Technologies.

The bridge, as it turned out, came shortly thereafter, once Felicity had managed to vet the information that Malcolm had given them. It had taken a gargantuan hacking effort on her part to confirm what Malcolm had provided for them. But at this point, what was hacking into a foreign government's encrypted files when added to her list of other hacking transgressions?

A drop in the bucket, really.

What she found hidden within those files, however, was far from a drop. It was a veritable tsunami of villain-y  cover-up of nightmarish proportions.   _Too_ villainy. This couldn't be real, this was like something straight off of a television show or a movie. This didn't happen in real life.

Or at least, that's what she kept repeating in her head to reassure herself.

"How could we not know about this? How could anyone not know about a terrorist attack in Hong Kong?" She asked in disbelief and muted horror, unable to wrap her head around the potential reality of this biological weapon and its horrific effectiveness.

"Because Beijing had us believing that these deaths were caused by a local chemical spill." Diggle breathed with just a touch of anxiety in his tone. But if he was anxious, that meant he thought there was a real threat. Which meant…-

"You don't really believe Merlyn?!" She hadn't meant for the words to sound like an accusation but they certainly came out that way as she stared at Diggle in disbelief.

"Looking at this we can't afford not to believe Merlyn." Diggle answered her heavily and Felicity felt her stomach flip and churn uneasily. Swallowing thickly, she said a silent prayer she wasn't going to vomit mid-speech, and she plunged ahead.

"He is a mass murderer who has lied to us so many times it should be a drinking game and I have never even _heard_ of this 'Tatsu' person." Felicity reasoned sternly, only to be brought up short by Diggle.

"Listen Felicity I don't know if you're right – that Oliver's gone forever or not. Truth is, for me it doesn't matter. If there's even a _possibility_ of this kind of danger in my city… I'm reporting for duty." Diggle stated solemnly and Felicity in that moment was reminded that at his heart, Diggle was still a soldier. And he was still fighting a war.

"Me too." Laurel fell into line with Diggle, giving a tight nod as she jutted her chin out in solidarity. She looked more than a little unnerved but also determined. And that alone meant that the team stood a chance. Determined Laurel was generally hell-bent on achieving success.

"I don't believe them and even if I did I can't go back there not-" Felicity paused mid-sentence, glancing uneasily in Laurel's direction as Diggle stared at her. The words 'not while I'm pregnant' had been about to come out of her mouth but that was really not how she wanted to break the news of her pregnancy to Laurel. Scrambling, she tried to piece together words to form some other, acceptable excuse as to why she wouldn't be accompanying the team to Nanda Parbat. "-not after what they did to Oliver." She supplied uncertainly, looking at Diggle, who inclined his head in a manner that indicated her excuse was 'so-so'.

Well. She'd have to take it. A 'so-so' excuse was better than the truth. At least, for now.

Woah. Wait. Back up. Since when was she little miss hush hush secret keeper? That was Oliver's M.O. – not hers. She really needed to bring Laurel into the fold, sooner rather than later. In her own defense though, the doctors advised that women wait until roughly the end of the first trimester before sharing the news, and she was still in the first trimester. So really she was just being prudent. Or was she?

 She'd have to revisit this later. But not now; for the immediate present, she didn't want to drop the news of her pregnancy on Laurel like a bomb right before she went off to fight to spare the city from a bio-weapon the likes of this.

"Fine." Laurel said with a quick nod of her head, respecting Felicity's decision without comment or criticism, for which the blonde was grateful. Turning to Diggle, Laurel nodded towards the door. "We better get going; Merlyn's not going to wait at Ferris Air forever." Laurel mused and Diggle nodded.

"You go ahead; I'll catch up in a second." He murmured. Laurel looked from Diggle to Felicity uneasily, once more sensing that something was amiss but thankfully not pressing the issue. With quick, even strides she was out of sight and then Diggle turned back to Felicity, his eyes serious.

"You're sure about this?" He queried and Felicity quirked a brow at him, surprised that he was second guessing her. She'd expected him to be on board with any decision that kept her safe and out of the League's way.

"I can't put the baby in danger." Felicity stated weakly, flapping her arms weakly at her sides.

"So you're okay staying behind and sitting on the bench for this one?" Diggle asked in disbelief and Felicity frowned, her whole face scrunching up at the notion.

"No I'm not _okay_ with it. But I have to do it. I don't have a choice. I can't just think about me now – I have to think of the baby. And besides, Oliver wouldn't want me to go." She sighed and Diggle nodded, some of the terseness leaving him at her words, clearly relieved that he wouldn't have to convince her to stay. "I can support you though, remotely. If you want." She offered and Diggle gave her a quick bob of his head.

"That works; but for now, I want you to get out of the city. Go be with Lyla and Sara. When we're back and it's safe for you, I'll let you know." He murmured and Felicity sucked in a quavering breath but nodded, trying to remain resolute.

"Good luck." She breathed, stepping forward and embracing Diggle hurriedly. "Just please… come home safe." She pleaded and John nodded before he broke away from her hug and strode off to join Laurel, leaving Felicity alone with the Hong Kong footage playing on loop on her computer screens.

Felicity wasn't sure how long she stood there, watching the horrors unfold over and over again on her computer screens before Tatsu came. All she knew was that one minute she was trying to convince herself that what she was watching was fake and the next, she was aware of another human presence on the private floor of Palmer Tech.

"I am sorry to intrude. Mister Merlyn said that I would find you here." She was soft spoken as she made her entrance, seeming not apologetic but rather, cautious. Not in the sense that Felicity was dangerous but rather, in the sense that she was fragile. The way she moved, the way she spoke, it was clear Tatsu was trying to handle her gently.

Felicity wasn't sure how she felt about that.

"That might be the only thing he's ever said that isn't a lie." Felicity responded darkly, not bothering to turn and make eye contact with Oliver's supposed friend. She still couldn't decide if she believed this woman or not. In her head, it made logical sense to but in her heart, Felicity felt too conflicted to try and accept what Tatsu had told them as truth. Questioning her was so much easier.

"I did not come here to convince you of the threat to your home. There is nothing I can say that you will believe more than what you have seen." Tatsu stated solemnly and Felicity felt her fingers curl tightly on the desktop of the work station she stood at.

"Then why are you here?"

"To speak with you about Oliver." Tatsu answered lightly and Felicity did her best not to recoil at the mere mention of his name. She missed him – missed him desperately – to the point that mere mention of him by this stranger? It stung like a physical blow. "During his recuperation Oliver spoke of you… Of how his last thought before the fall was of you."

If mere mention of Oliver had felt like a physical blow, than this was torture. Felicity's heart was breaking as she listened to Tatsu's words and she could feel tears edging into her vision as she looked at the woman. And somehow, she felt the most remote, muted shreds of a smile on her lips.

_His last thoughts were of me?!_

It was ridiculous. It was unthinkable. It was… _totally something Oliver would do_.

"You love him still." It wasn't a question but a statement of fact. One that Felicity didn't even bother to attempt to refute.

"Oliver belongs to Ra's now." She deflected, feeling her brief joy wane at the reminder that she would never again hold him in her arms. He was lost to her – in body and in soul.

"If you believe that you must fight for him." Tatsu declared, her voice lilting with a flicker of passion as she looked intently at Felicity, her eyes dark and sad.

"There is no 'him' left." Felicity countered, as much to silence Tatsu as to make herself feel better. If there was no Oliver left, then she didn't have to feel bad about not going to Nanda Parbat and trying to save him and stop this supposed bio-weapon.

"I thought as you do once. My husband - Maseo – was consumed by the League's darkness. I was so convinced that he was lost to me that I didn't even try to reach him. Don't make my mistake, Felicity. " Tatsu begged quietly, giving the blonde one last, lingering look of pained understanding. "If you will not fight for him for his sake or for yours, then do so for your child's sake. The bio-weapon is a threat to your baby as much as it is to you. And even if you survive the attack… a child needs its parents. Your child will need Oliver. And so will you." Tatsu commented softly, prompting Felicity to whirl to face her, her mouth curved into an 'O' of surprise.

"W-what? I don't have a child." Felicity argued, not about to entrust her secret to a woman whose existence and story were still questionable at best. But in answer, Tatsu simply inclined her head to Felicity, her eyes staring pointedly at the blonde's stomach.

"I saw how you reacted when I spoke of my son. Only parents can begin to fathom the horror of losing a child. Even a child that isn't born yet." Tatsu responded softly, prompting Felicity to wither slightly.

She really, _really_ needed to work on her poker face. Between Nyssa and Tatsu, she was practically showing her hand to every morally gray female ninja assassin she knew. Probably not the smartest thing to do. Before she could question Tatsu further however, the woman seemed to melt into the shadows and disappeared, leaving Felicity to contemplate in (relative) solitude.

Slowly, Felicity sank to the floor as she tried to take it all in, to process everything that had been thrown at her in the last few days and weeks. Her arms wrapped around her midsection as she hugged herself, crying silent tears. Tears for herself. For her child. For the man that she loved and feared she would never again truly see.

But how could she live with herself if she didn't take Tatsu's advice? Despite everything, Felicity still loved him. And she still held out the smallest candle of hope that he could come back. If she didn't go and fight for him now, how would she ever be able to look their child in the eyes, knowing that she'd let the man she loved, her child's _father,_ be stolen from her without a fight?

And then there was the bio-weapon to consider. She would never be able to sleep at night if it turned out to exist and she hadn't been there to help the team prevent its release. And if she fled the city and it was released and she survived? She wouldn't be able to live with herself. That was the short and sweet answer to all of her questions. And despite her misgivings and fears, Felicity knew in that moment that she had to go to Nanda Parbat.

"Frack." She whispered to herself from the floor as she sucked in a deep breath, feeling entirely unsteadied by the emotional self discovery she'd just done. Checking her watch, Felicity breathed in deeply and tried to clear her mind. Time was short before she'd need to meet the others at Ferris Air to fly with Merlyn to destroy the bio-weapon. But if she was going to do this, she was going to do this right and she was going to be smart about it.

And who better to call when trying to be smart than the father of Starling's smart technology himself?

Dialing him quickly, Felicity felt her heart quicken as the phone rang three times before he answered, sounding entirely too chipper given her own flagging spirits.

"Hello Miss Vice President!" Ray chirped brightly.

"Ray? I need your help. I need _The Atom's_ help…"

\-----

She'd rushed to Thea's loft, letting herself in with her key before she went hunting for a pen and paper so she could write a letter to Thea. The brunette had only just left to go after Roy – a goodbye which Felicity really didn't care to contemplate the potential permanence of. It felt cowardly, to leave a note rather than to call, but either way, Thea wouldn't make it back to Starling in time to stop Felicity. And even if she could, Felicity wouldn't, _couldn't_ , be dissuaded from her current course of action.

She'd made up her mind. She was going to Nanda Parbat. Tatsu had said to fight for Oliver and so she would.

But if the worst happened, Felicity needed to explain herself to Thea. Thus the note.

**_ _ **

Staring down at the hasty scrawl across the piece of paper, Felicity considered crumbling it up and starting over again but as she checked her watch, she knew that wasn't an option.

This, these few, flimsy words, would have to do.

She folded the paper in half once, creasing it neatly with her fingers before she picked up the pen and wrote Thea's name in large, looping cursive. Propping the letter up on the kitchen counter so it was in plain sight, Felicity hurried out of the apartment, doing her level best not to get emotional. She would be back. She could take back the letter when she got back from Nanda Parbat. Thea need never know what that letter actually said. The other note, however, she would not be able to take back. Felicity stared at the familiar address she'd printed neatly across the envelope, staring hard at the bold letters spelling out **_Nevada_.**

Her mother had a right to know. If things went wrong… Donna Smoak deserved to know the circumstances surrounding Felicity's death. Or disappearance. Or whatever state she ended up being in when all of this was said and done.  And so, Felicity had written Donna Smoak a letter, the letter she now clutched to her breast as she rushed to meet up with Merlyn and the rest of the team.

  ** __**

As she strode towards her car, Felicity hesitated at the little blue mailbox on the street, staring at it as she deliberated. Gnawing at her lower lip, she considered balling the letter up and tossing it in the trash so as to avoid worrying her mother unnecessarily. But if the worst should happen? Donna Smoak would raise her from her grave to slap her upside the head for not saying goodbye. And rightfully so.

"Here goes nothing." Felicity murmured, pressing a quick kiss to the envelope before, wincingly, she slipped it into the mailbox and let her shoulders sag. It was done. And she had places to be. Lingering for but a moment more, Felicity squared her shoulders as she focused on the task at hand, mentally preparing herself for Malcolm _fracking_ Merlyn and his questionable plans.

And y'know… a potentially life threatening bio-weapon and a League of Assassins holding the man she loved captive. She should probably prepare for all that too.


	7. Chapter 7

"Thought you weren't coming." Diggle remarked, his voice hard as he gave her a brittle stare, his eyes betraying his own mixed emotions. She could tell that part of him was happy to have her support for the mission but another, probably larger portion of him was displeased with her choice to endanger herself – and by extension, her child – by going along. But she couldn't sit idly by. Not after what Tatsu had said. Oliver, his soul, his spirit, his heart? All that made Oliver 'Oliver'? It was at stake. And as the father of her unborn child, he deserved to have her at least try to save him.

She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't at least try.

She should probably have been concerned that her main motive was saving Oliver and not the possible existence of a bio-weapon capable of wiping out her city but Felicity wasn't about to criticize herself. She was a pregnant woman with raging, rampant hormones. She could prioritize things however she fracking pleased.

"Changed my mind." Felicity answered simply, dropping Diggle's gaze as she turned to stare coldly at Malcolm, once more feeling a fiery loathing burning at the back of her throat. At least, she thought it was fiery loathing. It was entirely possible it was heartburn – she'd been having some of that since getting pregnant but she was _so losing focus._

"But if you betray us I will make sure that the whole world knows that you are alive- _and_ where they can find you." Felicity warned Merlyn coolly before she walked past him and to Diggle, who gave her a sideways glance as they strode for the plane.

"You wanna help? Give me your tablet and you can patch in remotely." Diggle argued in a low voice as they made for the plane, Laurel on Diggle's right and Felicity on his left. Felicity pressed her lips together in displeasure but shook her head.

"I'm going. I said I didn't want to be the last one standing if things went south when the League abducted Lyla. That's still true. This is Oliver's life we're talking about here. If my team is going, then I'm going." She retorted, watching as the muscles in Diggle's jaw went taut.

"This isn't just about what you want, Felicity. What about what you said earlier? Oliver wouldn't want you putting yourself in danger."

"Fortunately this is the twenty first century and I get to make my own decisions, with or without my sort of boyfriend's approval." Felicity remarked, eyes flashing as she stopped walking to look Diggle in the eye. "It doesn't matter what Oliver would want; clearly he hasn't had the best judgment of late so he forfeits having an opinion on some things. And as far as the other thing is concerned-" Felicity murmured cryptically, "-I'm the only one that gets an opinion on that. My life, my choice. And I choose this. To be with you and the others."

"I'm not letting you get on this plane." Diggle growled in a low voice and Felicity stopped walking and grabbed him by the elbow, her expression dark.

"You don't have to like it or even understand it. But John Diggle, you will _not_ sideline me on this one. Whether or not I get on that plane with you, I am _going_ to Nanda Parbat. Now personally, I'd rather go with you, so _you_ have my back. But if you force my hand, I _will_ find another way." Felicity shot back, the certainty in her voice lending credence to the threat.  

"I don't like it, Felicity." Diggle sighed after a long, pregnant pause and she swallowed, nodding to show that she'd heard him.

"Yeah. I know. I don't like it either. But I'm coming." She stated resolutely, taking a deep breath before adding with a small smile. "And this time, I'm packing heat." She patted her coat pocket, pulling it back to reveal her tablet tucked safely inside. John shook his head at her, looking none too thrilled but he didn't say anything. Laurel, however, gave an approving nod from the other side of Diggle and Felicity smiled faintly, glad that at the very least, _one_ member of her team supported her decision. Even if Laurel did so based on an incomplete knowledge of the situation.

Felicity really was going to tell Laurel about the baby. Eventually. But not before they went to stop a bio-weapon capable of obliterating the city they called home.

But maybe afterward, Felicity could pencil that in?

As they approached the plane, Felicity had to resist the urge to let out a low whistle of surprise. The sleek little private jet looked every bit the sort of thing a billionaire would criss cross the world in and she was more than slightly impressed by it. Grudgingly, of course.

"Swanky." Diggle muttered beside her and Felicity raised a brow as she glanced at him briefly.

"I bet all the seats even have seatbelts." She murmured, suppressing a grin as Diggle chuckled lowly in amusement.

"Am I missing something?" Laurel queried and Diggle shook his head.

"Felicity's not exactly fond of flying."

"It's not the flying part – it's the height at which the flight occurs." Felicity grumbled in response as they marched onto the jet and she made quick work of buckling herself into the nearest seat, Diggle, Laurel, and Tatsu following suit as Merlyn stepped to the front to see to piloting them.

It was going to be a _long_ flight.

\-----

"So this is Nanda Parbat." Laurel commented, looking around the landscape intently and with a jolt, Felicity remembered that Laurel hadn't been here the last time the team came knocking on the League's door – metaphorically, of course. Nothing had changed about the place since the last time she'd come – and while that might have been a good thing, there was one thing that Felicity was still not okay with.

"Next time we should really look into getting some horses. You think they rent horses here?" She queried, glancing about the group only to find no one seemed amused. _Ouch. Rough crowd_. But really though – the League could have at least had donkeys or mules or _something_ available so that hiking wasn't the sole means of reaching the place.

 _I swear, my Yelp review for the League is getting more blistering with every passing day_. Felicity thought to herself with an internalized chuckle of amusement.

"There won't be a next time." Diggle remarked and Felicity glanced back at him nervously, reading between the lines of his words. If there was a next time, she wouldn't be part of it. Noticing her eyes on him, Diggle softened for a moment and added. "And besides, I don't think you and horseback riding would mix very well." He teased gently and Felicity stuck her tongue out at him playfully.

Felicity kept plodding forward, feeling every bit of her body fighting her own exhaustion. Pregnancy took a lot out of a girl and adding hiking to the mix wasn't helping improve matters. Combined with her _very_ empty stomach (courtesy of no less than three bouts of morning sickness during the flight) and Felicity was feeling more than a little light headed as they trooped through the hilly country.

"There it is; the plane Ra's intends to use to spread the Alpha Omega over Starling." Malcolm directed their attention and Felicity's eyes swept to the plane some many meters away, calculating the distance between their party and it.

"I need to be within fifty yards to breach the plane's internal mainframe and navigation software. But then I should be able to remote ground the thing." Felicity directed, her tone the very definition of no nonsense. If she could do this and do this quickly, they would be in good shape to be in and out of Nanda Parbat with the Omega virus, sight unseen.

"Quiet." Malcolm said in a hushed voice, looking suddenly even more serious than he had a moment before.

"I don't see anything." Laurel responded simply but within moments of the words leaving her lips, Merlyn drew an arrow from his quiver and let it fly. Felicity startled visibly as she watched Malcolm's arrow fell the oncoming League Assassin and in a flutter of fear, she pressed a protective hand over her stomach.

 _They're here_. She thought nervously, her heart hammering at dangerous speeds.

"There'll be more." Merlyn stated with a grim tone of knowing. As the group continued forward, Merlyn lifted his bow again and fired another arrow to eliminate another attacker that had materialized as if from the sand itself. And then suddenly they were everywhere, swarming out of thin air.

From her right, Felicity heard the sound of gunfire and she spun to find Diggle pelting their assailants with a hail of bullets, his face a mixture of fixed determination and utter rage. Felicity felt her blood turn to ice and her heart seemed to stop.

_What have we gotten ourselves into?!_

"Make for the plane, we'll cover you. _GO!_ " Merlyn yelled at her and Felicity nodded and turned on her heel, Diggle falling in step with her as they tried their best to race across the open span of earth, the sand slowing their progress considerably. Behind them, Felicity could hear the sounds of fighting as Laurel and Merlyn engaged the assassins.

Diggle continued to fire at their would-be attackers as the pair ran and Felicity inhaled raggedly as she tried to keep pace with him, doing her best not to vomit. Now was so _not_ the time for her morning sickness to rear its ugly head again.  As they ran though, the plane began to power on and the engine whirred to life, prompting Felicity's focus to shift from her stomach to the task at hand as she slid to her knees in the loose gravel and sand.

"Close enough." Felicity muttered, frantically tapping at her tablet as she attempted to hack into the plane's well defended mainframe and navigation software. While it was by no means the most difficult thing she'd ever attempted, the firewalls were eloquent enough to necessitate her full concentration – and right now, she couldn't honestly give it.  Just behind her, Diggle was still firing round after round into the lines of enemies ringing them and she prayed his aim was true enough to buy her the time she needed.

 _I thought we were supposed to be protected by Oliver's command. Why are they shooting at us?!_ Already she could feel cold dread clawing at her guts as arrows and bullets flew around her and her friends and for a brief moment, Felicity felt her resolve waver. She truly hadn't thought that they would be in so much trouble so fast. She'd thought – or maybe she'd just hoped – that Oliver's protection would keep them safe.

"Oh frack." Felicity gasped as the plane began to rise before her, lending even more urgency to the already emergent situation. As she tried to shut down the engines though, the tablet jolted in her hands as an arrow lodged itself deep into the screen, instantly killing the device and rendering it useless. "More frack!" She panicked, diving for the tablet and wrenching the arrow from it before she threw it with all the force she could muster at the League of Assassins member on the hill just behind her. As she watched, the tablet connected with him and he went down, prompting her spirits to momentarily lift. _I got one!_

Then, she saw the arrow lodged in his back.

"Oh. That makes more sense." She murmured glumly, her face falling as she saw that her rescuer was not herself, but rather, Malcolm Merlyn. Rising to her feet, she watched, helpless, as the plane lifted off of the ground further and became airborne, bothered not in the slightest by the series of bullets John fired off at it.

"Can you bring it down from the sky?" Merlyn asked as he hurried to Felicity's side, sensing the desperation of their current predicament.

"No, they destroyed my gear. But I had some insurance come along." She assured him, staring hard at the sky as she waited, hoping her insurance showed up in time.

"What kind of insurance?" Merlyn queried uncertainly and Felicity gave a minute smile.

"The atomic kind."She responded, just as she saw him streaking across the sky. As she watched, Ray engaged the plane, sending a burst of electricity pulsing towards it before he took a hit from a rocket. Undeterred, he circled back and went after the plane, inciting a large explosion.

"RAY!" Felicity called in a panic, only for Merlyn to tuck her body against his as he wrenched her down to him.

"Get down!"

Debris rained down around them and the ground shuddered as the suit skidded back to earth in a shower of dirt and fire. Felicity could feel the hot streaks of smoldering plane pieces streaking past her, but Malcolm's body shielded her from the bulk of it. When it seemed that the worst had passed, Felicity shrugged off Malcolm, and hurried to her feet to race toward the downed suit amongst the plane shrapnel, hoping that she hadn't just gotten her friend killed.

"RAY!" She called as she ran toward the newly formed crater in the earth, peering down to find a battered but still living Ray looking up at her.

"You should see the other guy!" He grunted with a smile that dimmed only when he moved and seemed to be in pain. As he stiffly rose, Felicity extended a hand to him to help him up and he slowly clambered out of the pit.

"You scared me." Felicity berated him gently and in return, he gave her a stern look of his own.

" _You_ scared _me_. You shouldn't be here!" Ray muttered lowly, letting his eyes fall to her stomach pointedly before he lifted them back to her face.

"We're fine." Felicity dismissed, smoothing the front of her jacket down nervously. "Even if we don't fight our way out of this, Oliver won't let anything happen to us." Felicity assured and Ray swallowed and motioned with his head to the rise above them.

"Let's hope you're right."

Felicity followed Ray's gaze and felt her body go rigid as she saw what he had seen. Standing serenely above them, Ra's al Ghul surveyed the fighting with a cold disinterest, Oliver at his side. It was Oliver's presence, and not that of the dozens of assassins behind him, that made Felicity's stomach churn nervously.

 _"Oliver_." She whispered hoarsely, her voice having suddenly fled her at the sight of the man she loved looking so transformed – and not in a good way.

"ENOUGH! You have failed. Any further attempt to undermine our cause would be futile." Ra's called down to them, ceasing the skirmish in an instant. Felicity had eyes for only Oliver, however, who was staring at the group without sign of recognition or concern. _Please Oliver, I know you're in there._

"Uh you see that burning plane over there?" Ray called back, sidling around to stand protectively in front of Felicity – a move that did not escape her notice.

"We destroyed your city threatening bio-weapon." She growled proudly, her chin lifted defiantly as she finally turned her gaze to Ra's, eyes flashing in anger. Dangerous man or no, they had bested him and she would not hide the pleasure she took in his defeat.

"No. You merely think you did." Ra's responded back dully, withdrawing a vial from within his robes and holding it aloft for the group to see. Felicity felt her stomach flop uneasily at the realization that they hadn't destroyed the weapon. From all around them, the League's men came in fresh waves, swords drawn and leveled at them. Felicity felt the circle around her tighten as Ray took a protective stance at her front, and Malcolm at her back. Diggle retreated to stand just in front and to the side of her, still holding his gun as he stared down the rows upon rows of assassins. Even Tatsu drew nearer, looking shaken, her lips pinched into a thin line.

 _Oliver won't let them hurt us._ She reminded herself with a nervous swallow, just as the man in question spoke up, his voice making her shiver at the unfamiliar, dissonant tone to it. 

"Surrender. Or die."

Her heart squeezed painfully at his words and despite herself, Felicity turned to look at him, praying to see some glimmer of the Oliver she knew and loved. The Oliver who had saved her more times than she could count. _The Oliver she had made love to not so long ago._

But looking up at the man that referred to himself now as Al Sah-him, Felicity could see no trace of that Oliver. Where she'd ever found warmth and comfort in his eyes before, she now found only cold, dispassionate boredom. And that realization, more than the assassins a hair's breadth away, sent cold terror down her spine and the contents of her stomach came churning up.

"Felicity." Diggle murmured quietly, his hands steadying her as the group surrendered. He held onto her steadfastly, letting her heave before she rose stiffly, eyes watering as she blinked at the others.

"We're going to get through this."She stated hoarsely as the six of them began to move, prodded by their captors.

"You still believe he's going to protect us?" Laurel questioned in a low voice, her gaze sliding to where Oliver and Ra's were watching the surrendered party make their way towards the League's castle of sorts.

"I believe in _him_." Felicity stated firmly, swallowing as she saw Diggle shake his head.

"I hope he deserves that faith, Felicity. Because right now? I'm starting to really fear that he doesn't." Diggle muttered angrily, his eyes blazing with a fury she knew stemmed from much more than today's events.

They fell silent as they shuffled along, all of them looking morose and beaten, a fact which did little to improve Felicity's quickly dampening spirits. Moving to walk alongside Tatsu, the blonde tried to study the woman's expression but found that the emotion she'd shown earlier had vanished, replaced by a stony, unreadable expression.

"You said… You said you thought that your husband was consumed by the League's darkness." Felicity spoke in a hushed voice just above a whisper. "You said you didn't fight for him because of that but… how… how do you know whether or not it's too late?" Felicity asked desperately,  only for Tatsu to turn a pained gaze upon her.

"If you love him, then you will never know if it is too late. Because you'll never be able to let go of the hope that it isn't. Your love will cloud your judgment, for better or worse. The only way to know is to try." Tatsu stated solemnly before she resumed staring at her feet as the group walked and Felicity felt panic set in.

If she Felicity, the person who loved him, couldn't tell whether or not it was too late, but all the others said it was… had she been kidding herself? Was she only here out of blind love and desperation? Tatsu had told her she had to try, so she didn't make the same mistakes but… what if Felicity had waited too long? What if her window of opportunity to save Oliver had come and gone? What if Oliver was truly lost to her?!

These thoughts plagued her even as the group was escorted into the League's stronghold. She was so deep in thought, in fact, that Felicity almost missed the fact that the group was being led through the dimly lit halls by Oliver himself.

As she finally did realize this, however, Felicity's stride quickened and she strode after him, intent on reaching him and getting answers.

"Hey. Oliver. Oliver what's going on?" She pressed nervously, her eyes hungrily studying him, searching for some flicker of recognition. And then, in a heartbeat, he was responding to her.

"If any of you speak, we're all gonna die." Oliver stated seriously, his eyes sliding from Felicity to the rest of the group with a deathly serious expression.

"What-" Felicity began, only to be cut off by him.

"I need you to trust me." He said simply and Felicity swallowed as she stared at him, not daring to let herself relax. As Oliver led them towards the next room, Felicity looked to Diggle, whose expression spoke that he was plainly none too pleased.

"Digg, he's still in there." Felicity whispered, unable to keep the enthusiasm entirely out of her voice. But in response, Diggle only grunted before he followed their small party into the adjoining room, Felicity following along after him with cheeks warm from holding back a smile.

Oliver was still Oliver. He was in there, somewhere. And he could be reached. She was still contemplating that one, glorious fact as Ra's spoke to the group and truthfully, she didn't hear a word of what the man was saying to the group. She was simply replaying the five seconds of Oliver, _her Oliver_ , over and over again in her mind. Felicity didn't actually pay attention again until she heard Oliver's voice and it was only then that she came back to the present.

"Oliver Queen is dead. I am Al Sah-him."

Oh he was good. Very convincing. But Felicity knew his secret now. Al Sah-him was the ruse and Oliver was truly there, before her. _Thank Google. I knew Oliver was too strong to be broken, even by Ra's._ She reassured herself as Ra's continued to ramble on. _Do villains seriously have to go off on long tangents when they're around the heroes? Is that like… in the bad guy handbook or something?!_ Felicity thought in boredom as she tuned Ra's out, her interest only barely spiking when Ray popped off with a smart aleck comment about Ra's getting married.

Her amusement was short lived.

"The wedding is mine."

Felicity felt her blood run cold as she turned towards Oliver, her eyes wide with shock and watering in physical pain at this revelation. _No._ She could feel her knees quiver as they threatened to buckle beneath her and… was she breathing? She couldn't tell. The world seemed to be spinning. She felt a hand on her arm trying to steady her – was she swaying? Or was the world just still spinning?

"I am betrothed to Nyssa al Ghul." Oliver continued, his voice steady and his eyes calm as he slowly turned his gaze to Felicity, looking neither apologetic nor angry. And there were a million things she wanted to say, to _scream_ and cry and break with her fists. But all she could do was stare at him, horrorstruck by this news.

She had been forced to consider and accept a great many difficult and unpleasant things in the last few weeks. She had swallowed her self-loathing at having left him here and forced herself to cling to their unborn child as a source of joy and strength, doing her level best to ignore the inevitable hardships that her pending single motherhood would incur.

She had tried to accept the notion that Oliver was lost to her forever. That he was gone not only physically, but mentally too, owing to the League's brainwashing. She had tried to wrap her head around him being so changed that he would abduct Lyla. And then she had tried to accept the existence of a biological weapon that could wipe out civilizations, which was bound for Starling. And then not one minute ago, she'd accepted without question that he was still the man she'd always known and loved.

And with differing levels of opposition, she had come to varying levels of acceptance for each of those matters. And yet somehow it was this revelation that proved the most difficult to accept, the most impossible to ignore.

He was going to marry someone. Someone who was definitely not her. And not just anyone but _Nyssa_?! His former enemy's daughter and the former lover of his former lover? Even if it was a ruse, how could Oliver – _her Oliver_ – marry someone else? After all that they had been through… how could he do this?

There was a loud ringing in her ears, drowning out whatever words were spoken after Oliver's announcement. She could only continue to stare at him in anguish and incredulity until a nameless assassin stepped forward and began to push her away. And it was ridiculous to fight but the foreign hands on her body, so close to the precious cargo she now carried, was like a match to the kerosene that her unspent anger was becoming.

She slapped away his hands and pushed away from the man, all the while angling her body so she could both shield her baby and continue to stare at Oliver in accusing sorrow. Even as the group was herded from the main room, her eyes stayed trained on the man whose bed she had shared in this very place, what seemed like a lifetime ago.

She could feel the others' eyes on her as they were whisked away to a stone cell and thrown into chains. By that point, Felicity was too lost in her grief to fight. There was no point; they had failed. _She_ had failed. And whatever spark of recognition, whatever little flicker of 'Oliver' had spoken to her earlier? She was beginning to question if that was real. Because how could Oliver, her Oliver, marry Nyssa? It was unthinkable.

She didn't care that Laurel was looking at her with such genuine pity, or that John was staring at her with a consuming expression of concern. It didn't matter that Ray was watching her anxiously, like she was a ticking time bomb, or that Merlyn was stealing curious glances her way. It didn't matter. None of it mattered. Because Oliver was marrying someone else. The team had failed. The city was going to fall to Ra's and Oliver would be lost forever. Her child would grow up without its father. Somehow, despite her best efforts, she had continued the circle of abandonment for the next generation. _Way to keep up the family tradition of single parenting, Smoak._

People so often equated heartbreak with having their hearts ripped from their chests, or with their hearts breaking. But in that moment, Felicity knew that those were all terrible comparisons. Because this? The heartache she was feeling now? It wasn't breaking her heart. If anything, her heart had never been more intact because never had she ever so acutely felt an emotion the way she did now. Her heart was practically working overtime to make certain she could feel more intensely than she ever had before, and it was working. She was in more emotional pain than she could ever remember experiencing before. She was drowning, suffocating, oozing grief and misery.

She was losing whatever cool she'd had left. The utter agony of having the love of her life announce that he was marrying another woman had left her so utterly distraught that even their current plight didn't register on her emotional scale of concerns because _Oliver was marrying someone else_.

She wasn't heartbroken. She was lost. Desolate. Despairing.

"I can't believe he's going to marry her." She confessed mournfully, unable to help feeling like one of those silly little lovesick teenagers she'd so often criticized in movies but well past the point of caring how it made her sound.

"You should worry more about getting out of here alive." Merlyn snapped at her but if there was one thing Felicity had no time or energy to care about, it was Malcolm fracking Merlyn. Still, the implication that they might die here hadn't crossed her  mind and Felicity felt her heart stop as she processed the implications of Malcolm's words.

"Is that even a remote possibility?" Ray asked, only for Merlyn to shoot him a look that had the tech savvy billionaire sighing. "Didn't think so."

"We aren't going to die here. Oliver would never let that happen." Laurel replied hotly.

"He let this happen." Diggle countered, lifting his chained hands into Laurel's view with a pointed expression. Not a moment later, the wrought iron gate to their prison swung open as some of the masked assassins swept inside. Merlyn was on his feet instantly, speaking in another language to the men but they had no time for him, instead going directly to Diggle.

"Wahreeth al Ghul commands your presence."

\-----

He'd sworn that he would protect her, three or so years ago when Oliver had brought her on board, Diggle had said that they would have to protect her. Oliver had agreed and so had he and since that time, they'd had a few close calls but Felicity was still alive and well. Diggle had been proud of that, until today. Now she was alive, pregnant with Oliver's child, and trapped in the cells of a man with no conscious, who was quickly turning Oliver into a carbon copy of himself. This was a close call Diggle could not be certain he could save Felicity – or himself – from.

So as he walked to where Oliver was waiting for him, Diggle was teeming with a thousand emotions, not the least of which was a protective instinct in overdrive. His friend and her child – his godchild – were at stake. He could not afford to fail them. Still, it took all of his self control not to deck Oliver when he entered the room his former friend occupied.

"Leave us." Oliver commanded, and the men obeyed, the doors swinging shut with a clang. Oliver turned to face him then, his voice carrying an urgent note.

'Is everyone okay?"

"Like you give a damn!" Diggle growled, glaring at the man that he had once considered like a brother to him.

"Didn't Malcolm speak to you?" Oliver questioned in confusion and Diggle felt his lip curl into a snarl.

"He did. So was it part of your plan to leave my daughter alone when you kidnapped my wife?" Diggle accused and Oliver at least had the decency to look ashamed.

"I had to do something to prove my loyalty to Ra's." _No. Not a good enough reason to endanger my wife and my daughter._

"So taking Lyla, that was your plan, Oliver? In front of our daughter?!" Diggle barked angrily as Oliver flinched and lowered his eyes, guilt riddling his expression.

"Yes. You met Tatsu?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Diggle nearly shouted and Oliver hurried, practically tripping up on the words to explain himself.

"Tatsu told me that in order to beat Ra's I would have to sacrifice all of the things in my life that I hold most precious. And your friendship was on that list." Oliver explained and Diggle nearly gave a hollow laugh because that excuse? It was laughable.

"Oliver, you didn't just lose my friendship, you lost my trust. You lost my respect." Diggle accused honestly as the sound of footsteps echoed in the hall just outside their room. Sensing that they were soon to be interrupted, he stepped so that he was face to face with his former friend.

"And if you keep going down this path? You're going to lose a hell of a lot more than that." Diggle warned as he went toe to toe with Oliver. And yes, he was supposed to keep this secret; Felicity had put her trust in him. But he'd also said he'd protect her and her child and it was that vow which meant the most to him and it was that vow which drove him now.

"If there is any shred of you that is the honorable man I _used_ to know, then you will make damn certain that Felicity is safe." Diggle warned and Oliver frowned for a moment at his former partner.

"I'm going to keep you all sa-" He began, only to be interrupted by Diggle.

"She's pregnant Oliver. With your kid."

Oliver's entire demeanor changed as shock and horror paraded across his features and he took a stumbling step back away from Diggle as he clearly tried to cope with this bombshell, but Diggle marched on, knowing time was short. "-And she came here even knowing the danger, because for some fool reason she still believes in you. Don't let her trust in you be misplaced. You protect that girl – and your baby –or I swear to God-"

A knock punctuated John's speech and Oliver whirled to yell at the door as it swung open.

"WHAT?!"

"Ra's demands that we return this man to his friends."

"I am questioning him!" Oliver defended snippily, only for Diggle to cut him short.

"No, you _were_. I'm done here." Diggle growled as he stalked past the heir to the League and out into the hallway, far past the point of caring. He had accepted his fate; he could only hope that Oliver was not so foregone as to let Felicity die here along with the rest of his friends.

When he returned to the cell, he was once more chained beside Felicity. No sooner had Ra's' men left and the doors clanged shut than Felicity scooted closer to him, clearly desperate to know what had transpired in his absence.

\-----

"What did Oliver say to you?" Felicity asked anxiously as she scooted closer to John, her heart hammering hopefully. _Please. He had to have said something_. He had to have a plan, have some sort of escape route. They'd almost managed it once before, with no planning or inside help. They could do it this time.

"Nothing worth hearing." John answered her bitterly, his lip curling in disgust and Felicity felt something within her truly shatter in that moment as she fell back against the pillar, eyes wide and lips parted.

"You were right. About Oliver. I should have listened to you." She murmured, feeling rather faint. In answer, Diggle reached a hand out for one of hers and held it tightly, lending warmth to her as she began to shiver from the cold, or her nerves, or some combination thereof. They stayed like that for some time, until a loud clanging and rattling announced the approach of visitors. With an armed guard escort, Ra's and Oliver swept into view, staring at the group coldly.

"I told you about Oliver you were supposed to-" Malcolm accused as he rose in swift anger, only to be deftly cut off by Ra's.

"Supposed to what, Mister Merlyn? Grant you mercy? I _am_ – because this death will be a lot shorter than the one I had planned for you." Ra's answered him scathingly as he let his eyes stray from Malcolm to take in the rest of the group with a flicker of amusement.

"Oliver, if what Malcolm said is true, if you're going to do anything, _now is the time_!" Felicity pleaded, her eyes on him even as he staunchly refused to meet her gaze. Her heart was in her throat as she tried to form the words to tell him, suddenly unable to do so in the face of Ra's al Ghul. She didn't want him to know, didn't want to share with this man, this _demon_ , that she was pregnant. If he knew? Well, she doubted any good could come from that.

"Al Sah-him has said that the swordswoman is inoculated, so you can take her to another chamber." Ra's directed coldly

"No." Laurel muttered, watching as Tatsu was hauled away by the League's men. And Felicity could sense it, Laurel's rage reaching critical levels. "Oliver. OLIVER WE BELIEVED IN YOU!" Laurel accused, anger and fear painting her voice as she slung the words at his feet. _Believed_. Felicity thought, _Past tense_.

Felicity was still clinging to that belief, still praying for it to be a present tense and not a past tense thing. She still believed in him. Ra's watched the group with a detached expression and then with a casual flick of his fingers, he pointed in Felicity's direction.

"Al Sah-him has _also_ said that _you_ are to be a mother." Ra's al Ghul stated as he stared at Felicity shrewdly, making her skin crawl and her lips part in horrified surprise. From behind her, Felicity could hear a soft intake of breath from Laurel and in her peripheral vision she could see Merlyn startle and look at her in shock. Felicity herself flinched away from Ra's and turned her wide eyes to Oliver, who would not even meet her gaze, and then to Diggle, who at least had the decency to look at her.

"You… _You told them?!_ " She gasped softly, now realizing at least part of what must have gone on when Diggle had been hauled off to see Oliver.

"I told you I would protect you – both of you. That meant telling Oliver your secret, so I did." Diggle's voice was hard but he held her gaze and she could tell that none of this was easy on him. If anything, he was in as great of pain as she was. Diggle, however, seemed intent on using his anger, his pain, for a purpose.

"I would hardly consider her protected." Ra's cut in, turning his steely gaze on Diggle in an unsuccessful attempt to make the man wither. Waving in Oliver's direction, Felicity watched as Ra's wordlessly summoned the man whose child she now carried. Despite his words earlier, Felicity felt the suffocating claws of doubt begin to tighten around her throat, causing her breathing to come in shallow, rasping breaths.

"Oliver Queen loves this woman." Ra's stated serenely to his replacement, only for Oliver to stare blankly through Felicity.

"Oliver Queen is dead; I am Al Sah-him." Oliver answered matter of factly, prompting Ra's to curl his lips into the barest of smiles. The sight alone chilled Felicity's blood. _Nothing good could make that man smile._

"Be that as it may, give our recent betrayal at the hands of Sarab, I believe we have before us an ideal opportunity for you to exercise your devotion to our cause." Ra's stated simply and from beside her, Felicity felt rather than saw John stir.

"You sick son of a bitch." Diggle growled and Felicity whipped her head to stare at her friend, expecting him to be glaring at Ra's only to find his focus being leveled wholly and with utter loathing on Oliver. "I told you the truth so that you could save her! Don't you see what he's going to do to her? What he's going to do to your _baby_?" John yelled and Felicity felt her stomach bottom out.

_No._

Ra's unsheathed his sword in a single movement; it seemed to happen almost in slow motion before her eyes. Tempered steel that glinted in the dim lights of their dungeon cell, she could see even from afar that the blade was honed to lethal sharpness and it was all too easy for her imagination to supply the image of what the sword would look like when painted with her blood. Felicity stumbled backward a step, feeling her body collide with the solid warmth of John's chest as he steadied her, his body moving to stand in front of her protectively as Ra's spoke once more.

"If you are as dedicated as you claim to be, Al Sah-him, you will kill this woman for her attempts to undermine our plan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay getting this chapter posted - I had some real life stuff pop up including overtime at work and surprise visits from friends but I am back and already working on the next update. I hope you enjoy!


	8. Chapter 8

"Oliver," Felicity whispered faintly, her voice quavering and nearly breaking across the three small syllables it took to say his name, "-please. Don't do this." She pleaded breathlessly, staring at him imploringly. "I know you're in there. Somewhere. And no matter what he's done to you or what he makes you do, I know you can come back from this – from all of this." She spoke directly to him, _through him_ , to the very soul of him now. "And I still believe in you." She whispered to him tenderly, her eyes landing on his and searching for a glimmer of hope.

It was all he could do to meet and maintain her gaze without going to her and crushing her against him so he could kiss her lips and trace his hands across her skin, and feel the soft planes of her stomach now giving life to their child.

_Their child_.

He still couldn't process it, couldn't believe that the woman he had loved all this time was now carrying his child. From the moment Diggle had told him, Oliver had been drowning in a sea of emotions, not all of which he could claim were positive. Fear factored prominently in his emotional reaction to the news but it had been momentarily dimmed by the image of a blue eyed child with a soft smile being held in Felicity's arms. Felicity had long been family – her, Diggle, Roy – they had formed a tight knit little band, a family forged from fire. Sara and Laurel had joined them too. But this? This was another sort of family entirely. One he had never truly envisioned himself having. Until _her_.

And now? Now his family was in danger.

"I am Al Sah-Him, Heir to the Demon." He answered back, doing his best to keep his voice steely and firm even as everything inside of him broke apart and shattered.

"You are Oliver Jonas Queen." Felicity countered, her voice flaring with a ferocity he recognized but had been unprepared for nonetheless. Ignoring the soft squeeze Diggle gave her arm, Felicity instead arched her head forward so she could stare him down with the intensity of a caged beast as she stepped in front of her protector to face Oliver and Ra's. "You are the Arrow of Starling City. You are Thea Queen's brother, Roy Harper's mentor, John Diggle's brother in arms. You are the man that I _love._ And you are my baby's _father_." She challenged him, and in that moment his heart might have exploded out of love for her and her unending bravery in the face of danger. Even if that same bravery was currently putting her and their child in further danger and making him have heart palpitations.

"-And if you are going to kill me, you will first acknowledge all of those things." Felicity finished with a sharp bob of her head, her jaw set as she regarded him darkly.

He stared her down unblinkingly and right away he wanted to recoil from the intensity and anger and hurt growing in her eyes. Instead, he stepped closer to her and with a subtle wave, several of the League's men stepped forward and pried Diggle and Felicity apart over John's protests. Once separated, they quickly removed the chains binding Felicity to the cell's pillar, though they left her hands shackled. This accomplished, they backed away, leaving Felicity to stare down Oliver and Ra's unflinchingly.

"I am not 'Oliver'," he refuted, stepping closer to her so he could place his index finger beneath her chin, forcing her head to turn this way and that as she scowled her displeasure at him while he studied her throat with great interest. "And I will acknowledge nothing." He growled, withdrawing his hand from her face before he turned to take the proffered sword from Ra's al Ghul's waiting hands as he began to recite the prayer.

" _Forgive and have mercy upon her. Excuse her and pardon her. Make honorable her reception. Protect her and her child from the punishment of the grave… And the torment of the fire."_

His voice was like sandpaper on his throat as the words flowed freely, summoning tears to her eyes even as he watched realization dawn on her. And though his world had shrunk down to include only her, Oliver slowly became aware of their friends as they too made their own desperate overtures to save Felicity.

"Oliver, listen to me." John begged, and Oliver had to carefully school his expression at the tone of desperation in his friend's voice. "OLIVER! This is Felicity we're talking about! For the love of God – _she's carrying your child!_ " John shouted frantically.

"No, Oliver, what the hell are you doing?" Laurel yelled, struggling at the end of her chains so violently that, in that moment, Oliver knew if she got free, Laurel would kill him as soon as look at him. And really, given her grasp of knowledge on the situation, Oliver couldn't fault her for it. "Oliver! It's _Felicity_! Don't do this!" Laurel screeched.

From behind Laurel, Oliver heard Ray shout across the room in his own desperate bid to see Felicity saved. And for all his dislike of the man, Oliver couldn't help but be appreciative that given everything, Ray still had Felicity's back.

"She loves you, she's carrying your baby for crying out loud. _SPARE HER_!"

"Death comes for us all, Miss Smoak." Ra's voice rose above the stagnant cell air and desperate cries and Oliver watched Felicity's lip curl in disgust. She had been _so brave_ and _so strong_. His heart was fit to burst with pride but he knew that her bravado had reached its end. Because even if she could accept forfeiting her life, he knew she would never be able to forfeit her child's. Her heart was far too capable of love to let an innocent life die on her account.

"Please," she begged then, trying to keep her voice level and failing as she directed her plea to Ra's himself – and Oliver could only imagine what groveling at her enemy's feet was costing her. "-if you want a spectacle, you can have it. You want me to beg? I will. Just… please. Have mercy. Let me live long enough to have my child. Then you can kill me. You can have Oliver kill me or you can or whoever just _please_." Felicity begged, her eyes swinging to and fro as she desperately sought clemency, even though Oliver knew getting it would be like getting blood from a stone. 

_"Please,_ " she whimpered, trying to curl her body around her stomach but hampered from doing so by her bound hands, "-you said that before a wedding the Ra's contemplates mercy on his enemies." Her tears fell freely as she sobbed before him and Oliver felt something inside of him completely fall apart. "Then I am _begging_ you. Please. Have mercy." She gasped through her tears, her cheeks wet and eyes shining with tears.

"Free her hands." Oliver directed and one of the League's men stepped forward with a key, quickly undoing the heavy shackles binding Felicity's hands. Stunned, she looked up at Oliver, her hands clasping her stomach protectively, covering the subtle swell where their child now grew.

"Al Sah-Him-" Ra's warned and Oliver turned to face him, lowering his head subordinately.

"So she may bid her child goodbye; an act of mercy before my wedding." He explained in no more than a neutral tone, prompting Felicity and the others to blanch violently.

"We trusted you. You asked us to trust you and we trusted you!" Felicity accused and though outwardly he didn't show it, inwardly the sting of her words was almost more than he could bear.

"If he is your heir, then that makes that child the next in line behind Oliver!" Laurel yelled, trying a different tactic now as she stared down Ra's al Ghul and showed no fear for having done so. "Are you going to kill your own legacy? This could be the son of 'the man that survived your blade'. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" Laurel demanded with a clenched jaw, shaking with anger as she stared down the Demon's Head.

"ANSWER ME!" She yelled at him and Ra's merely smirked and shook his head.

"Her child is not my legacy nor shall it be Al Sah-him's." Ra's stated simply as he moved to stand before Felicity. His hand snaked out and slipped beneath the open front of Felicity's jacket, his fingers sliding across the smooth curve of her stomach. In answer, Felicity shied away from the contact, only to be restrained by a pair of the League's men. Grinning, Ra's turned his full focus to Felicity and it was all Oliver could do not to plunge the sword in his hands through Ra's in that moment. It seemed bitterly unfair that this man, this _monster_ , had his hands on Felicity's stomach to feel for the child within it before Oliver himself had had the chance.

"This is the child of Oliver Queen; there is no Oliver Queen here. He is dead." Ra's reminded Felicity, his voice a lilting taunt. "Al Sah-him's children will be born of my daughter; heirs of _my_ blood. Not yours."

"Get your filthy hands off of her." John growled from the side of the cell and Ra's quirked a brow at him in amusement but complied, though not without giving Felicity's stomach a gentle pat, as if she were an animal or the like.

"Miss Smoak and her child are merely loose ends in need of tying. You will be to Al Sah-him as a grain of sand is to the ocean."

"Is that what you thought about Nyssa before she was born?" Felicity challenged in disgust, throwing Ra's al Ghul's own illegitimate child in his face. He paused in his bandying of words to study her before he looked back to Oliver and the sword in his hand at the ready.

"The difference, Miss Smoak, is that my daughter has value. And for all your fire, you and your child will both be one thing to Al Sah-him: Insignificant." Ra's stepped away and snapped his fingers then and Oliver swallowed thickly as Felicity's eyes swung to his, leaving him feeling like a deer in the headlights.

_He remembered the screams. The panic. The confusion. People running from an invisible foe that they couldn't fight, only succumb to. People falling in the streets of Hong Kong, dead, only to be cradled by their loved ones – for however long they themselves survived. The virus had been brutal, not bothering to discriminate amongst its victims. Old and young, men and women, strong and weak alike fell victim to it._

_He remembered feeling like a monster for being free from the fear the others experienced. As he and the Yamashiros had raced through the seemingly war torn streets, they had not harbored the same fear as their fellow men and women. The virus itself was not an imminent threat to them, thanks to their vaccinations._

_Or so they had thought._

_He could still remember hearing the panic in Tatsu's voice, prompting him to turn around in the front seat, only to see the dark trail of blood running down from Akio's lips. He could remember the way that dread and panic had reared their nasty heads, making his blood run cold and his heart hammer in terror. How he'd prayed for Akio to be spared and how the overwhelming drive to protect and save him had driven him to the edges of depravity._

He'd done unspeakable things in the name of saving Akio. He'd embraced the monstrous side of Oliver Queen that had been cultivated on the island. And it had terrified him because embracing the monster? It had felt _good_. He'd sunk to new lows in the name of helping a child that he had befriended and cared for. The child of his friends. How much worse would he become, what new horrors would he bring about in the name of his own child? Slade's voice rang, taunting, in his ears then.

_How many people can Oliver Queen lose before there is no more Oliver Queen?_

He didn't know the answer to that question and he prayed he didn't live long enough to find out. He already felt responsible for too many lost lives. His father. Shado. Tommy. His mother. He'd nearly had to add Thea to that list. The idea of Felicity joining that sad roster… it was… it was…

_Unthinkable_.

But they were in an impossible situation; the plan he had so carefully formulated with Merlyn had been rendered useless by the revelation that Felicity was pregnant. Oliver had seen Akio succumb to the Alpha Omega despite being vaccinated. He knew that moving forward with the original plan would pose a significant risk to the baby. And even though Felicity would likely be safe, there was every possibility she would lose the baby if exposed to the virus, as per the original plan. And there was no way of knowing how pregnancy might impact the efficacy of the inoculation. There was every possibility Felicity could be lost if he had gone ahead with the original plan.

That was not a loss Oliver was willing to accept. Thus, he had told Ra's of Felicity's pregnancy, hoping that the man would either be lenient and spare her (unlikely though it had been), or that he would react thusly and demand a death with spectacle, offering Oliver the opportunity put before him now.

He'd said once that if she asked him to do something, he'd do it; she was begging and pleading for her life to be spared so her child could live. There was no choice to make – he would do everything in his power to protect them both. And that was what he was doing now.

 

" _I'm sorry Felicity… For everything."_ John's voice broke Oliver's reverie as the two friends stared at each other from their respective vantages within the cell, Diggle swallowing nervously  as he glanced at Oliver.

"You don't have to be sorry for anything, John. I'm glad to have known you." Felicity answered back, her lower lip trembling as she returned her stare to Oliver, her body shaking violently at whatever look she found in his eyes.

He couldn't stand having her look at him that way.

Oliver shook his head and broke eye contact with Felicity. With a swift step, he tossed the sword to the ground and spun Felicity so her back was to his chest. In one sudden movement, he wrapped his forearm across her throat while his other arm looped across her right arm and braced against the back of her head, effectively putting her into a headlock and chokehold just the way Yao Fei had once done to him.

It was a desperate move. Foolhardy, really. But it was the only thing Oliver could think of that would guarantee her safety. Feigning her death and removing her from the cell would spare Felicity exposure to the Alpha Omega virus. It would spare their child exposure.

It was a chance for both of them to live, however poor the odds and whatever the damage to their relationship. The only thing that mattered was ensuring their safety – even at the personal cost of losing her trust. But God help him, if he _could_ preserve her trust in him, he wanted to.  

His lips were against his ear when he risked saying aloud the words that might give her solace. "Trust me." He sighed so faintly there was every possibility she hadn't heard it. And perhaps she hadn't because despite his attempt at assuring her, she struggled. In fact, she struggled far more than he'd thought her physically capable of, but in a matter of a few, fleeting seconds he knew she was about to collapse. At the same time, he feigned a sudden, jerking motion with his arms just as her whole body went limp. As he eased her body to the ground, he prayed that he'd timed Felicity's passing out to coincide with him feigning breaking her neck.

Judging by the reactions of their friends, he'd timed it successfully.

"NO!" Laurel screamed, flinging herself to the edge of her chains. Merlyn hovered well away from the brunette, staring at Felicity's motionless body, thunderstruck. Ray was staring at Oliver in horror until he lifted his eyes to Oliver's.

"S-She believed in you." He stammered in disbelief as he sank to the floor, his gaze falling to Felicity as tears pricked at the corners of his eyes.

Diggle was silent, staring hard at Oliver with an expression that was almost unreadable. The one thing that _was_ readable was the utter rage that left his hands in fists, shaking at his sides.  

"You're despicable." Laurel hissed, glaring at Ra's and Oliver both. "Congratulations. You just killed the most kind, loyal soul any of us has ever met. Was it worth it, Oliver? Saving Thea, just so you could murder Felicity and an entire city of other innocents?" She spat, turning away from the two men with a snarl. "You saved one life but now you're going to kill thousands more."

Ignoring Laurel's words, Oliver glanced to some of the League's men and motioned a hand at them in a bored, authoritative manner.

"Remove the body to my intended's quarters; let it serve as a wedding present to her as further proof that Oliver Queen is no more." He directed, watching intently as a pair of his men hustled forward and plucked Felicity's prostrate form off of the ground and hauled it out of the cell, leaving Ra's and Oliver with the remainder of the team. Staring at them momentarily, Ra's gave them all a smile made of candy coated cyanide and with a flick of his wrist, he tossed the vial in his hand. Oliver watched as, in almost slow motion, the vial tumbled to the floor and shattered, releasing the toxin into the air.

"Seal the room." Ra's demanded as he swept out of the cell, Oliver following hot on his heels and doing his level best to ignore the desperate, forlorn pleas of his friends. Or former friends, at the rate he was going.   

"Oliver, listen to me. OLIVER!" _John._

"No, Oliver, _STOP_!" _Laurel._

"Come on, you gotta get us out of here!" _Ray._

But Oliver didn't flinch, didn't even turn to look at them. His eyes remained on Felicity's body as he trailed along behind Ra's, his eyes drinking in the pale skin and golden hair of the woman he loved. The woman with whom he had fathered a child.

_A child_.

"Don’t do this, Oliver!"

"Oliver!"

"Don't do this!"

" _Please, Oliver_!"

The keening wails of his friends were the last things he heard before the doors clanged shut behind him, muting their cries to him.

\-----

"I can't believe he killed her." Laurel whispered hoarsely, looking in wide eyed horror to Diggle, who turned to her, looking torn.

"She might be alive." Diggle answered softly, staring hard at the closed door to be certain no one was lingering who might hear his suspicions.

"What do you mean – we watched the same thing, right? Oliver… Oliver _broke her neck_." Ray stammered out, only for Diggle to shake his head.

"If he was gonna break her neck, then why put her in the chokehold? He could have done that just by twisting." John explained, motioning the appropriate movement with his hands. "But that headlock stuff? I've seen him do that to a guy before. This Bratva guy… he wanted Oliver to kill a man in exchange for a favor." Diggle explained, only for Laurel to shake her head.

"So what we're hearing is you've seen Oliver kill someone else the same way and also, Oliver has been in cahoots with the Russian mob. All very reassuring stuff, John."

"I never said the guy died." Diggle intoned darkly, staring hard at Laurel. "It was some trick Oliver picked up during his time on the island… He never explained to me how it worked but I watched him touch that man's neck and he bolted awake like _that_ a few minutes later." Diggle explained, snapping his fingers once for emphasis as the others in the room looked at him in surprise.

"So you're saying-"

"-this might all be a ruse so Oliver could save Felicity." Diggle murmured and the others looked at him in surprise, though Laurel was the one to hit on the next snag first.

"Save Felicity… but not us." She intoned flatly as she made eye contact with Diggle, who gave a single, accepting nod.

"Looks that way." Diggle confirmed, leaning heavily against the pillar despite his chains, already able to feel his lungs beginning to struggle for oxygen.

_Lyla and Sara are safe. And so is Felicity_ … _And the baby._ He reminded himself, a sense of peace stealing over him at the thought. All three of his girls and his unborn godchild would live. He could live with that; or rather, he could die knowing that they were safe - even if he was not.

"I'm sorry you two." Diggle spoke up, his voice hoarse even as he sagged lower against the pillar, his body weakening with every breath of the virus that he breathed. "I'm sorry I couldn't get us out of this." He apologized haggardly to Ray and Laurel, blatantly ignoring Malcolm, only for Laurel to shake her head faintly.

"None of this is… your fault John." She assured him, struggling weakly against her chains as she crumpled slowly to the floor, her eyes fluttering open and closed as she fought unconsciousness. "At least… At least Felicity might make it." Laurel reasoned in a rasping voice before she fell still. Ray collapsed a moment later and Malcolm too was still as the grave as Diggle's eyes swept the cell bleakly as his vision began to worsen.

_Felicity will live._ And in protecting her, he had kept his promise to keep her safe, back when all of this had first begun several years ago. Being a man of honor, John took some solace in that small truth, even as his eyes fell shut and his breathing shuddered.


	9. Chapter 9

The last thing she could remember was Oliver grabbing her from behind, his strong arms encompassing her body and for once, it didn't give her any sense of comfort to have him near her, touching her. She could remember struggling against his grasp and the dimly lit cell had blurred before her eyes. _I never should have come to Nanda Parbat._ She thought as she struggled weakly, tears welling in the corners of her eyes as her oxygen grew alarmingly short. _I'm so sorry._ She thought to her unborn child, her heart breaking at the realization that this was her fault. _If I had never come here, none of this would be happening_. Her child was going to die along with her, at the hands of its father, and she could have prevented it. All of it.

Felicity opened her mouth to let out a cry of anguish but found she could not give voice to it, left to scream in silence as her oxygen deprivation left her speechless. Darkness had begun to descend on her and amidst the confusion, she heard a whisper in her ear, so familiar it gave her a sense ofdéjà vu.

 _"Trust me_."

Those were the last words she heard before she spiraled into the darkness in a tidal wave of fear and sorrow, one last thought ringing in her mind. _Oliver?_

_-_

She awoke with a gasp some time later, her hands scrabbling for purchase as she clawed blindly at the blurred shape looming over her. She didn't know how long it had been or where she was, let alone how she was still alive, all things considered.

"Hey! Hey… hey. You're safe. You're safe!" Oliver's voice reached her through the fog in her mind but instead of reassuring her, she felt her sense of calm turn into a trill of fear, panic ripping through her as he spoke again, his voice instilling terror  instead of comfort. "I'm here."

She wrenched away from the soft touch at her right elbow, blinking fiercely as she fell backwards off of a table, only to be caught before she could hit the ground by a foreign embrace.

"It would appear that notion is of poor comfort to her." A familiar voice snipped tersely and Felicity's confusion grew deeper as she mumbled groggily.

"Nyssa?"

"You should not speak." Nyssa responded tersely as she eased Felicity to the ground. The blonde blinked to try and clear her vision, only to realize her glasses were missing. Feeling for them atop her head, she started as a warm hand offered the glasses in question. Grabbing them quickly, Felicity put them on and shied away instantly as she saw Oliver's figure kneeling over her.

"Get away from me!" She snapped as she scrambled backward towards Nyssa, watching the look of heartbreak that flew across Oliver's face at her words.

"Felicity-" he began and she shook her head, trembling as she clutched her midsection protectively, terrified of what she'd been exposed to while unconscious. Was the baby still alright? Had whatever Oliver'd done hurt it somehow? And the others- where were they?!

"What did you do to me?" Felicity gasped in terror as she tried to get to her feet, swaying unsteadily as she clutched the table she'd been laying on only moments before for balance. When he was silent, she stared at him harder, her gaze narrowing. "What did you do to me, Oliver?! Did you even _think_ about the baby? Did you even _care_?!" She accused angrily, prompting Oliver to wilt beneath her accusing gaze.

"Of course I care! Felicity, let me explain," he began, doing his level best to calm her but Felicity wouldn't hear it.

"I don't want one of your explanations. I want answers. _Now_." She snapped, only to have their argument cut short by a not so subtle throat clearing from behind her.

"We do _not_ have time for this; my father will grow impatient waiting for his successor." Nyssa warned in a low voice and Oliver grew taut as a bowstring before Felicity's eyes, prompting the memory to wash over her anew.

"Y-You married her. Didn't you?!" She gasped softly, unable to hold back the hurt in her voice as she asked the question, already half knowing the answer. She hated that she still cared, that it still hurt to consider losing him in that way, given all that he'd done. But it did. Because despite everything, she had loved him.

 _Had_.

"You're Ra's al Ghul's heir." She murmured in disgust, her nose wrinkling as she tried to merge this foreign version of Oliver with the version of _her_ Oliver that she'd kept preserved in her mind. Despite her efforts, the two images wouldn't mold together.

"Felicity, it's not what you think-" Oliver attempted to reassure her, only for her to shake her head angrily.

"No. It's not. And that's the problem. I _think_ that the man I trusted for three years ought to have explained himself before he got us into this mess. I _think_ that the man that I _love_ should have shown a little concern about _our child_ when a crazy man told him to kill us. _I think that the man I believed in should have lived up to that beli-_!" Felicity growled, her voice growing louder and stronger as she went until a gloved hand suddenly clamped over her mouth, silencing her.

"Nyssa!" Oliver snapped protectively as the assassiness released Felicity roughly and turned to step in front of her, one hand to her lips before she whirled to face Oliver.

"If you do not believe that my father will burst in here and strike her down if he has even the slightest reason to believe she yet lives, then you are even more of a fool than I thought." Nyssa growled in warning and Oliver glowered back but fell silent as Nyssa turned to stare at Felicity seriously.

"You are still alive because it would seem that my father's attempts at brainwashing your city's savior have failed. Oliver tricked my father into believing that you were dead and brought you here so he could awaken you after the nuptials and further complicate my life by dragging me into these foolish matters." Nyssa groused with an irritable glance Oliver's way before she continued. "But if you attract attention to the fact that you still draw breath, rest assured that you and the child you carry will quickly be disposed of by my father or his men. And this time, your deaths will be more permanent."

Felicity's lips pressed together in a thin line of displeasure but she remained quiet and gave a faint nod to show she understood – even if she didn't necessarily like it. Satisfied, Nyssa next turned her focus back to Oliver, crossing her arms before her defiantly.

"I suppose you want to speak with her - alone?" Nyssa hazarded a guess and Oliver swallowed once and then nodded slowly.

"I would appreciate that, yes." He confirmed and Nyssa heaved a sigh and rolled her eyes but began to walk for the door of the room, slowing as she neared it.

"Be quick; my father is impatient to see your city destroyed. He will not take kindly to being delayed. I'll wait in your quarters; meet me there and we can go to him together." She directed before she slipped from the room, closing the door noiselessly behind her.

"I don't have a lot of time." Oliver murmured in a low voice, taking a few steps closer to Felicity and promptly stopping when she backed away quickly. Instead, he raised his hands in surrender and backed up, attempting to give her some space. "I'm not going to hurt you, Felicity." He tried to assure her, but she couldn't trust him. Not now. Not after everything.

Maybe not ever.

"That's rich, coming from the guy that attempted to kill me…. How long ago? I don't know how long I was unconscious." She tilted her head to the side to contemplate, only to shake her head and try to refocus a moment later. _Priorities._

"It was only maybe fifteen or twenty minutes." Oliver supplied and Felicity nodded, relieved to hear that it hadn't been hours at least.

"Where are the others?"

"Still in the cell, for now." Oliver began, only to be brought up short as Felicity tried to walk boldly past him for the door. He grabbed her with firm hands as gently as he could and held her back, eliciting a low growl of disapproval from her.

"Let me go, Oliver."

"You can't go out there. If Ra's or his men see you, they'll know I didn't kill you."

"And if we leave John and the others in that cell, Ra's will kill _them_." Felicity rationalized, glaring up at Oliver before she wrenched away from his touch and stormed back to the opposite side of the room to pace angrily. Even if she didn't want to agree with him, it was true; she couldn't risk being spotted. It would only endanger herself and the baby by extension and Felicity had more than had her fill of near death encounters for the day. Frack, she'd had enough for a dozen _lifetimes_.

"He already has." Oliver stated tersely, prompting Felicity to fall still, her features going pale as she processed his words. Suddenly she was quavering on her feet as the world spun in a way that had nothing to do with morning sickness.

"Wh-" she began, only to whirl away from Oliver. She rushed towards the nearest decorative display and plucked an arrangement of flowers out of a vase, only to empty her stomach into the empty container a moment later.

_They're dead. I was too late. This is all my fault…_

"Felicity!" Oliver's voice was a low rumble pitched with fear as he took a step forward, too hesitant to come any closer to her. As she pushed her hair away from her face and raised her eyes to him, she felt only accusation and anger burning in her stomach. Well, that and acid reflux.

"Y-You let him kill them? Diggle is d-dead?" She gasped out softly, tears pouring freely down her face. "Laurel? Ray?"

"No! Ra's, he only thinks they're dead. They'll come to soon. I had Malcolm inoculate them – and you – against the virus. They should be fine."

" _Should_ be fine, or _will_ be fine, Oliver?!" Felicity hissed, setting aside the vase and its contents as she stormed nearer to him, careful to maintain at least a few feet barrier; she still didn't trust him. And that stung – badly.

"They should be fine." Oliver answered, his voice so small that even Felicity could see even he wasn't convinced.

"How dare you." She growled sternly as she circled him, feeling every bit as dangerous as the predatory feline she probably resembled at the moment. "We have spent the last few years risking our lives right alongside you. We deserved to know, Oliver. We deserved the right to _choose_ if we wanted to risk our lives this time."

"I was only trying to protect you!"

"No, you were trying to keep us in the dark! Still! Despite everything we've been through, you still can't seem to trust us completely with anything! Not the full story of the five years you were gone, not this – you couldn't even trust yourself enough to tell me the truth about how you felt about me until you thought you were marching off to die against Ra's!" Felicity assailed him, watching as he shrunk away from her guiltily.

"I have only ever tried to protect you-"

"No. You've only ever made unilateral decisions for all of us. But you know what? That's not what it means to be a friend or a partner. And it's definitely not what it means to be a lover. Or a co-parent" She spat, pausing only momentarily to wrinkle her nose at her own use of the word 'lover'.

 _It's just a weird word_.

But that was so not the point right now.

"I need some air." She asserted as she turned away from him, only to draw up short as she realized there was nowhere for her to go that wouldn't risk her being seen by Ra's or his men. _What the frack's a girl supposed to do for privacy in this place?!_

"Felicity… I'm sorry." Oliver murmured and she felt her skin prickle and her tongue sour at the words.

"You know, you've said that so many times lately, I think it's lost its meaning." She whispered hoarsely as she turned to face him again, eyes flashing through her tears. "Maybe you could be a little more specific; are you sorry for letting us believe we were going to die? Or for keeping us in the dark for _weeks_? Or how about for abandoning everything you stood for by joining the League of Assassins? Or maybe – and this one's my personal favorite – are you sorry for _marrying Nyssa_?!" She growled, keenly aware that it was a low blow. But she gave zero fracks at this point; if she wanted to take cheap shots, she would.

He'd made her think she and their baby were going to die. 'Sorry' wasn't good enough.

"I'm sorry for all of it." He answered morosely with a soft glance at her, his eyes slowly tracing down to her stomach and lingering there tenderly.

"For almost a month I _mourned for you_. For _us_. I dreamt of our night together so many times and I prayed that I could see you again, even just once, so I could tell you I loved you again." She confessed, her voice hitching in her throat as she stumbled over the words. "And I was barely making it through the days without you because I felt _so lost_ without you. You were my north star and I was in the dark and I was okay with that because I could always trust in you to give me direction. And then you were gone and I felt… purposeless. Lost." She explained passionately, her voice rising and falling with emotion.

"I found out that I was pregnant three weeks after we left Nanda Parbat and I… I didn't know what to think. I was scared, really scared, because my mom was a single mom and we know how that played out and I didn't want to mess anything up for our baby but not for one second did I consider not having it because suddenly, I had my north star back. I had this tiny little sliver of you and I was carrying it with me everywhere I went and I took so much comfort in that."

He lowered his gaze to the floor as he listened to her and she could practically see the burden of guilt and shame growing on his shoulders but she carried on, unyielding in her quest to make him see just how deeply he had wronged her, had wronged their team.

"And I still dreamed. And it wasn't just you and me anymore it was us, the three of us, and we were _so happy_." She confessed, smiling faintly at the memory. It was a short lived smile.

"I told you once that I didn't want to be a woman that you love." She reminded him and he grimaced but nodded at the memory.

"I remember." He murmured in an undertone.

"I can't say that I wish I had listened to myself back then because I don't regret this baby." She murmured, her hands flattening across her stomach as she looked to it tenderly, praying that the child beneath her fingers was still alive and well despite Oliver's fake chokehold.  For all her anger towards him, she held no resentment for the child growing in her womb; for it she felt only love. As she raised her head to meet Oliver's gaze, however, all trace of warmth vanished from her face.

"I loved you, Oliver. But I don't want to love you anymore. And I don't want to be a woman that _you_ love. Because loving you and being loved by you is never going to be enough to make up for what you've done here." She accused in a voice terribly faint and horribly soft but no less lethal for it. "I can't control very much right now. But what I can do is protect my baby."

 _My baby_. Not theirs. Not ours. _Hers_.

"I turned out just fine despite not having a father around. I'm sure my child will too." She whispered, watching as the realization seemed to break across Oliver, his face crumpling and his lips trembling as he struggled with the implications of her words. She could see the vein in his forehead twitch as his brows knitted together and he tried to remain impassive and failed miserably, the subtle shifts in his expression giving away just how deeply she'd wounded him. And sure, it had probably been something of an emotional roller coaster for him, finding out he was going to be a father and then having that fatherhood revoked in less than a few hours but he was the one that had risked her life and their child's – he'd made this bed. Now she was making him sleep in it.

Before he could say anything more, the door to their chambers opened and Nyssa stole inside, leaning heavily on the door.

"You are out of time. We must go." She hissed urgently, taking no regard for the tension that she was interrupting.

"I need a minute."

"Unless you want my father to walk in here himself then you will leave with me _now_. The plane is ready and he is on his way here." Nyssa growled and Oliver's jaw clenched before he swung his gaze back to Felicity, searching for words and coming up short.

"Go." Felicity said dully, even as her heart twisted painfully, all too aware that what she was doing must be destroying him, but unwilling to let herself care, if she could help it. She had nothing left to say to him and she certainly didn't want him endangering them all just to say a few words that would be like a shovelful of dirt in the gaping rift between them now.

"Stay in here. Help will find you _quickly_." Oliver said pointedly, placing special emphasis on the word 'quickly'. "I promise." He added hurriedly, his eyes pleading with her to trust him. His hand hovered for a moment towards her and then he withdrew it, staring at her longingly. "For what it's worth… I-I am sorry." He was almost begging her with his eyes now but she wasn't about to forgive and forget.

His eyes lingered on her for a moment more before he turned and met Nyssa at the door and together the newly married couple of assassins strode out of the room, leaving Felicity alone with her grief. When she was certain they had left, she sat down heavily in a nearby chair and finally let the tears she had been doing her best to keep bottled up flow freely.

\-----

They had awoken slowly, in a haze of confusion that had only begun to clear when Malcolm _damn_ Merlyn of all people started coming up with answers.

Oliver had had a great deal to atone for before but now? Now Diggle was ready to deck him, point blank. And while any trepidation he'd had concerning Felicity's fate was mostly gone now that he and the rest of the team had awoken no worse for wear in the cell, he still wasn't about to forget that Oliver had made Felicity think she and her child were dying too. He could still recall the look of terror on her face all too vividly.

Felicity most certainly had not been in on Oliver's little plan; that kind of terror couldn't be faked.

And even with Oliver's clever ploy, Felicity had been moments away from exposure to the virus herself. Oliver would have that to answer for as well.

"Oliver was vaccinated against the Alpha Omega virus five years ago. An associate was able to draw a version of the vaccine from his blood." Malcolm explained as he plucked at his own hand, eventually peeling back a large piece of skin that prompted Diggle to turn up his nose in disgust.

"A synthetic skin graft." Ray muttered with a note of grudging awe and Merlyn raised his brows in amusement. _Of course the flying suit monkey thinks this is cool_ , Diggle thought with a glower.

"Upon our incarceration, I was able to vaccinate each one of you cutaneously… I saved your lives. I believe the words you're searching for are 'thank' and 'you'." Malcolm stated pointedly as he looked around the room at them expectantly.

"What do you want a parade in your honor?" Laurel grumbled darkly and Malcolm shot her a glare.

"As thankful as I am, this grand plan of yours and Oliver's still has the small problem of us being in chains… in a dungeon." Ray pointed out, rattling the chains on his hands for good measure as he interrupted Laurel and Malcolm before they could devolve to arguing.

"All we have to do is wait." Merlyn assured, eliciting a snort of disbelief from Laurel.

"Wait for what?" The brunette queried skeptically, just as a thunderclap sounded from outside.

"The thunder." Merlyn answered back cryptically, a smile on his face.

It was only perhaps a minute later when a blur appeared outside the cell, quickly materializing into none other than Barry Allen's red clad alter ego. Blinking in surprise, Diggle shook his head.

"Hey guys! Wow, I mean this is like a real dungeon!" Barry gushed enthusiastically

"Long time no see 'Flash'." John barked across the cell, drawing Barry's attention and _aw hell._ The kid was grinning from ear to damn ear like this was some sort of game.

"Hey man!" Ray piped up with equal enthusiasm, waving despite his manacles at Barry, who waved back grinningly.

 _This is why I worked for the brooding, dark one of these three chuckleheads_. John thought with a grunt, for a minute almost able to forget that he was at odds with that very same individual now. There had been a time when he and Oliver were like brothers.

Now was not that time.

"As heartwarming as these reunions are, _get us out of here_!" Malcolm demanded, thereby wiping the grin off of Barry's face. The young man nodded and backed up a step as he surveyed the door and sized it up.

"Alright ahh… stand back." Barry warned and in short order, he had the group out of their chains and on their feet.

"Merlyn, did you put one of these skin grafts on Felicity?" Diggle demanded as the five of them regrouped, Barry having brought Tatsu into the cell to converse with the group.

"Of course; Oliver wanted to ensure you were all inoculated."

"Hey, where is Felicity? I was surprised she wasn't with all of you." Barry queried and Diggle held a hand aloft to silence the younger man as he pressed Malcolm for more information.

"Merlyn, is there any way that the inoculation could hurt the baby?"

"In case my lack of a medical doctorate wasn't enough to inform you, I'm not a doctor, Mister Diggle. I don't claim to know the science behind the inoculation or the graft." Merlyn growled testily and Diggle stepped forward menacingly, only to be interrupted by Barry.

"Baby? Wait… Felicity's… she's _pregnant_?!" Barry exclaimed, glancing between the two men in open mouthed surprise. "Seriously? Like… having a baby. Wow. Congratulations!" Barry beamed at Ray, only for the dark haired man to give a short shake of his head. _"Orrrr not!"_ Barry attempted to recover, giving an uneasy laugh and smile. "So uh… who _is_ the father then?" He whispered in an undertone to Diggle, who only shook his head at the boy.

"I thought he was supposed to be quick." Ray remarked as he rose unsteadily, glancing at Barry in amusement. "Seems pretty slow on the uptake to me." He teased with a wink before he went to where Diggle and Merlyn were squaring off, changing the subject before anyone had time to answer Barry.

"May I?" He inquired with an outstretched hand and Merlyn acquiesced with a roll of his eyes, giving Palmer the skin graft without argument.

"If this works like other vaccinations, then if the mother is vaccinated while pregnant, she can transmit maternal antibodies to the fetus transplacentally." Palmer stated uneasily as he glanced around the group none of whom looked particularly relieved.

"Meaning?" Laurel pressed irritably and Ray shot her a look.

"Meaning that if she were exposed to the virus, it is _possible_ that the fetus could survive if Felicity's body was able to generate enough antibodies and transmit them before she was exposed." Ray reasoned. "It would grant the fetus natural passive immunity. The immunity is short lived and the baby would still need to be inoculated after it was born but… it's not a definite death sentence to either mother or child if Felicity gets exposed." Ray explained, causing Diggle to grind his teeth.

"So it's not a sure thing?"

"The virus killed my son even though he had been inoculated; regardless of whatever your science may say, not even the vaccination is a 'sure thing'." Tatsu interjected quietly, drawing all eyes to her where she stood awaiting their decision on the outskirts of the room.

"She's right. There's not a great deal of research on the effects of inoculations on pregnant women or their babies for… well, obvious reasons. And without a working background of the Alpha Omega virus, I can't even guess what her odds would be." Ray stated apologetically and Diggle had to suck in a deep breath and exhale slowly before he nodded.

"Alright well, she shouldn't be around us. Not yet, anyway; we've been exposed, I don't want us around her until we've been decontaminated or something." Diggle reasoned, glancing at Barry with a stern eye. "You've got to find her and get her back to Starling."

"You know I would but I am overdue for a _very_ pointed conversation with Harrison Wells. I'm sure Oliver's got this, you guys." Barry declined, only for Diggle to shake his head.

"I wouldn't count on it."

"Oliver hasn't been very forthcoming with his plans lately." Laurel interjected in explanation and Barry gave an open mouthed nod as he tried to follow along.

"Well, I don't know what's been going on with him lately, apart from a recent wardrobe change but one thing that hasn't changed is he needs you guys, even if he doesn't think so. And for another thing… he loves Felicity. Even if he can't seem to tell her that. If he planned this then I would trust him; he'd rather die than let anything happen to her… Or the rest of you too." Barry added hurriedly with a nervous smile. "Good luc-" He began by way of parting, only for Diggle to grab him by the front of his suit and lift him up.

"You may be fast but you are damn dense if you think that was me asking you. But you're a friend, so I'm going to clarify: I am _telling_ you to find Felicity and bring her back to Central City with you, where she'll be safe. She's pregnant. Whether or not we trust Oliver is irrelevant. We need to protect her and her baby. Do you understand me?" Diggle questioned and Barry swallowed once and then nodded.

"Yeah it's just ah… Central City isn't exactly going to be a safe place for Felicity right now either." Barry explained as Diggle set him down and stared him in the eyes for a moment, as if testing the validity of Barry's words.

"Fine. Bring her to her mother's place in Nevada, if Felicity's okay with it."

"Ahaha, that might not be a great idea either. If this virus gets out, I'm going to need Felicity's help to reverse engineer-" Ray paused as he watched the team's eyes glaze over and he waved his hands. "I'm going to need her, is the bottom line. We can't send her that far away."

"Well we sure can't let her be in the thick of it." Laurel growled, daring anyone to contradict her. Ray eased back a step and raised his hands non-threateningly.

"I'm not suggesting we put her in the line of fire. But she could work safely from Palmer Technologies. We've got a clean room where everything's decontaminated, it's got its own oxygen supply, a bio-contamination protocol and preventative measures in place - the works. She could make that her base of operations and help us out, if it comes to that, all while keeping herself and the baby totally safe. And we'd be able to monitor her remotely."

He looked from Laurel to Barry and then finally to Diggle for approval. The man, who had become the impromptu leader of the group in lieu of Oliver, nodded slowly.

"If Felicity is alright with that, then so am I. But regardless of what she says, she doesn't go out in the field; I let her come here and look how that turned out." Diggle sighed, passing a hand over his face as he tried to dispel some of the guilt he was carrying over what had clearly been a mistake.

Silence descended on the group and Barry looked at them all in turn before Diggle met his gaze and stared at him pointedly.

"Go!"

"Going!" Barry answered, disappearing in a gust of wind so strong it blew the various articles of the room about, prompting Diggle to lift his arms to cover his face until the air had settled once more.

"Damn it, I'll never get used to that!" Diggle half growled, half shouted as the room settled again, leaving the team to begin their desperate flight back to Starling City. Glancing at his teammates (and Merlyn) Diggle nodded. "Let's move!"

\-----

She was still sitting on the chair she'd plopped down in when Oliver and Nyssa had left when a sudden noise made her head jerk up, her bloodshot eyes darting about nervously. Scrambling out of the chair, Felicity moved to the back of the room, searching for some sort of hiding place. Short of hiding behind the curtains _a la_ an episode of _Scooby Doo_ though, she was short on hiding places.

_Ugh, and Scooby Doo is so not what I want to emulate. That makes me what, Velma? Oliver would be Fred, Laurel would be Daphne and that makes… wait, no Diggle wouldn't be Shaggy or Scooby. Maybe he's Fred and then Oliver's the dog. Appropriate, but probably an insult to Scooby right now…_

_NOT THE TIME_. Her self-preservation instincts screamed at her, and she ducked behind the bed to hide, only for a sudden gust of wind to send the curtains billowing.

"Felicity?" A familiar voice called tentatively and she looked up to find Barry looking down on her. From her vantage crouched beside the bed, he seemed formidable in his red Flash suit but despite that he was a familiar face – one that she _trusted_ – and it was all she could do not to weep for joy.

"Barry!"

"Thank you, Felicity, for outing my secret identity in the middle of a super villain hideout." Barry muttered dully, and Felicity winced apologetically.

"Sorry. My brain is the worst sometimes."

"So I guess pregnancy brain is a thing then, huh?" Barry asked, smirking and she nodded, pressing a hand to her forehead.

"Oh yeah. Don't even get me start-… Wait, you know?!" She gasped and he nodded.

"Yeah, Diggle and the gang let it slip right before I came here."

"They're alright? Barry, you have to take me to them!" Felicity insisted, rushing forward and grabbing him by the hands as she pleaded with him. The features of his face became strained and he glanced nervously at the door.

"I…. can't. I'm sorry, I promised I'd bring you back to Starling. I guess they need to decontaminate before they see you? Anyway, I'm on strict orders to take you to Palmer Technologies."

"Decontaminate? From what?!"

"They were exposed to a virus, I guess? But they're fine, they were inoculated but they don't want to risk it with you… y'know." Here he motioned at her stomach and Felicity paused to stare at him, quirking a brow in his direction.

"With me being _pregnant_. You can say it Barry, this isn't Alien, it's a fetus. The baby isn't going to explode out of my stomach and eat you."

"That we know of. This is the child of a technological genius and a semi murderous vigilante we're talking about." Barry teased, the smile freezing on his face at the way Felicity's face fell. "Wait, what it is Oliver's, right? Did I just totally put my foot in my mouth? I thought-"

"No, you were right. It's Oliver's." Felicity assured him quietly, shaking her head. "It's nothing it's just… Oliver stuff."

"He's been acting more Arrow than Oliver? Letting the moody broody hooded jerk take over too much?" Barry hazarded a guess.

"As usual." Felicity sighed in confirmation, prompting Barry to nod empathetically as he offered her his hand, which she took hesitantly. "Are you sure this is safe…?"

"Totally." He assured her with a grin as he lifted her into his arms, pretending to stagger as he did so. "Have you gained weight recently?" He teased and Felicity's eyes narrowed.

"Lesson number one: Don't taunt the pregnant lady about her weight or she will retract her previous statement and said fetus _will_ explode out of her and devour you."  Felicity said in a factual voice while speaking in the third person, eyeing Barry warningly.

"Noted." He grimaced brightly, his eyes twinkling with a reddish gleam. "Hang on tight." He warned and before she had time to comply, the world became a wind tunnel around her, pressing her tight against his chest as he super speed-ed them out of Nanda Parbat.


	10. Chapter 10

By the time Barry dropped Felicity off at Palmer Technologies, she was pretty certain she'd lost any semblance of balance and the world was never going to stop spinning in her head or before her eyes. Because going that fast for the duration of the trip from Tibet to America? Definitely not easy on the inner ear, as it turned out. She felt so unsteady, she probably looked like a newborn giraffe learning to walk. Aka clumsy in the extreme. Not that that was such an enormous deviation from her norm but still. 

Plopping herself into the closest chair she could find, Felicity stared at the empty executive level, for once finding no comfort in the familiar whir of her beloved computers and various other technological devices. Her team, her _friends_ , were still on their way back to her, after having been exposed to a deadly bioweapon. And Oliver- Oliver…

No. She couldn't go there. It was too fresh, too raw.

Bowing her head, Felicity finally gave in to the crushing weight of her emotions, letting herself cry and cry and cry, safe in the knowledge that no one could or would hear her. And by the time she heard footfalls echoing on the tile floor in the hallway, she'd already composed herself and looked (relatively) no worse for wear as the team strode into view.

Unlike her, they definitely looked a little worse for wear after their hurried flight back to Starling. Bedraggled, discouraged, betrayed, dejected, they filed in slowly, looking utterly spent. And now was definitely not the time for them to be feeling that way, with Ra's in the city with the bioweapon.

Felicity leapt up from the computer terminal she'd been sitting at and rushed towards them, bypassing everyone to rush straight into Diggle's arms. She'd hug them all in turn because she was relieved to see them all alive - truly - but she had eyes only for her dearest friend as the team offered up weary smiles at the sight of her.

"Boy are you a sight for sore eyes." John huffed, his body relaxing as his arms came up to envelop her in a tight hug before he held her back from him so he could look her over. "How was the Barry Express?" He teased gently and Felicity winced and shook her head.

"Let's just say that nausea and superhuman speeds of travel don't mix well. Next time, just let me come with you all on the private plane." She explained and he chuckled, giving her a knowing smile.

"I'm glad you're alright." He confessed, some of the tension creeping back into his voice and into the lines of his body. "When I thought that you were… that _he_ -"

Felicity laid a hand on Diggle's arm to silence him and gave her head a gentle shake.

"It's okay. I'm – _we're_ – fine. Both of us." She explained, dropping a hand over her stomach. "At least, as far as I can tell we are. Oliver… he made it convincing to fool Ra's."

"A little _too_ convincing if you ask me." Laurel growled and Felicity turned, stepping away from John so she could give the brunette a quick hug. 

"Yeah, for me too." She confessed. "I uh… I really thought that was the end of the road there." Felicity choked out, doing her best not to get choked up and emotional and failing. _Frack. These hormones are so not cool._

"Good thing it wasn't." Ray commented softly and Felicity smiled at him and stepped over to him, hesitating a moment before she gave him a brief hug. "Just to be sure though, give me one second…" Ray mused, darting over to one of his work stations and grabbing up a small silver wand-like object. With a slow pass of the wand over her body, he began to tap away on his tablet until he nodded, seeming pleased.

"According to this, both of your vitals look good; you both get a clean bill of health." Ray confirmed and it seemed as though suddenly everyone in the room took a breath of relief, Felicity included.

"Good. I'm looking forward to being an Aunt." Laurel beamed, her smile faltering as Felicity turned to look at her in surprise. "U-Unless... I mean, I don't want to assume, I just mean I'm really excited for the baby and," Laurel stammered and for once Felicity wasn't the one with foot in mouth. Hugging Laurel again, Felicity shook her head. She hadn't forgotten how Laurel had swiftly defended her in Nanda Parbat when Oliver had fleeced them all into thinking he was about to kill Felicity and the baby at Ra's al Ghul's orders. Anyone that came to the aid of her and her child like that was definitely deserving of the title of 'Aunt' in Felicity's book. And while the position of Godmother was already (in Felicity's opinion) reserved for Thea, there was no harm in having 'Aunt Laurel' in the mix too. 

"No, you will be. Aunt Laurel, that is. If that's not too weird." Felicity hesitated and Laurel's face split into a beaming smile.

"I'm going to go broke buying baby clothes for this kid." Laurel grinned excitedly as the two women radiated some much needed joy amidst all the gloom. 

"As much as I would _love_ to sit here and watch you all continue this little reunion, we don't have much time." Malcolm cut in stiffly, prompting all eyes to turn to him.

"For what? I thought you said Oliver had a plan?" Laurel questioned in a snappish tone, clearly still far from trusting the man – and also more than a touch miffed at his interruption of the lone happy thing to have sprung from their trip to Nanda Parbat.

"Yeah, and in the event that it doesn't work, he has a backup – _us_." Malcolm growled, turning away from the group to stride across the floor of the executive level, his hands behind his back as he began to bark orders to them all. "John, let's determine the status of our arsenal. Laurel, go to your father, start mobilizing the police. Mister Palmer – I need you to find something that will neutralize an airborne contagion."

Malcolm paused, turning to look at the group, his eyes landing on Felicity as he seemed to hesitate while deciding whether or not he should assign her a task. Her answering glare seemed to reassure him she was up to the task, however, because a moment later he was assigning her a job.

"Miss Smoak let's find out where our League of Assassin friends might be."

As he fell silent, the four of them stood unmoving, clearly none too pleased at being given orders by a man that they had all deemed a foe until about a day ago. And even still, he was hardly what they could consider a true ally.

"I'm sorry, did I mumble?" Malcolm queried roughly, his irritation at not being heeded apparent. All eyes in the group swung to Diggle in that moment, waiting on his decision to act. If this group had a leader, it was most assuredly  _not_ Malcolm Merlyn but was instead most certainly John Diggle. 

"We follow his lead. For now." Diggle stated quietly, his eyes boring into Malcolm warningly. With Diggle having spoken on the matter, the group set into motion to divide and conquer. Before any of them had gone far though, Ray spoke up, his voice tight.  

"Uh guys I set up a proximity alarm to detect any unauthorized entry to this level – it's going off like crazy." Ray stated, glancing from his screens to the group and back again. Felicity felt her gut clench nervously, her blood running cold at the notion that Ra's and his men could already have made it here and might appear at any moment to end the last opposition to their plan.

Springing into motion, Diggle jumped to grab Felicity and pull her behind him, drawing his gun as he rushed to get Felicity to a safer space. 

"Move, move  _move_!" Diggle shouted at the group, waving them all to disperse as he grabbed Felicity by the hand and made for the elevator, only to draw up short as a sudden noise overhead drew their attention.

_Please no_. Felicity thought, utterly panic stricken. She'd just begun to feel safe; she couldn't endure another brush with death. She couldn't take it - and she was pretty sure the baby wouldn't be able to either. 

They dropped from the ventilation shaft in total synchronization, moving with a nimble grace that was almost catlike. Dressed in similar dark leathers, they were almost matching and not for the first time Felicity had to remind herself that they were engaged. Or rather, married now.

_Married_.

It still stung.

Nyssa rose with her bow raised and an arrow nocked, no doubt in answer to the fact that John was standing opposite of her, his gun aimed it at the pair. The sight of all of them, hackles raised and weapons aimed at one another had Felicity feeling nauseous again. Before that nausea turned into anything, Oliver quickly put a hand on Nyssa's arm, apparently not keen on starting something.

"Nyssa." He murmured softly and the raven haired woman answered by lowering her bow, prompting John to do the same with his gun, albeit slowly. Thus neutralized, Oliver took a step towards his former team. "John, with all due respect I'd appreciate it if we kept loaded weapons holstered when we're around Felicity and the baby." Oliver commented quietly, and in that moment, Felicity saw Diggle's last shred of patience fray.

"Son of a bitch!" He shouted, swinging fiercely at Oliver and connecting with his face. Oliver went down hard and despite herself, Felicity felt her heart ache for him. She started to move towards the two men but stopped when Nyssa once more raised her bow.

"It's okay. It's alright." Oliver muttered, nudging away Nyssa's bow once again and Felicity couldn't help but wonder at what had changed, that suddenly Nyssa was trusting Oliver enough to listen to him regarding whether or not to point her weapon at them. And that Oliver was being so quiet, so soft, so _gentle_. Since when had those two harbored anything other than ill will or at the very best, tolerance for one another?!

"Nyssa, same goes for bows and arrows; I'd really like it if Felicity wasn't around a lot of dangerous weaponry. I've already put her in enough danger for one lifetime; it's time I started doing a better job protecting her - and our baby." Oliver explained, keeping his eyes on his wife until she grudgingly complied, her eyes skimming over Felicity intently, lingering on her stomach in a way that made Felicity feel like Nyssa had some sort of superhuman powers. What was she, some sort of walking, talking, human ultrasound? The way she looked at Felicity, the blonde almost would have believed it. 

What she didn't believe was the way Nyssa was looking at Oliver now. Last Felicity remembered, Nyssa had felt no love for Oliver. And now? Well. Now they were married and suddenly trust seemed to have sprung between them. It must have been some wedding to produce those results. _Or some wedding night_ , her brain supplied out of fear and jealousy and hurt. And there it was again, the nausea.

"Uh, maybe we should give these guys the room." Ray offered, waving towards Nyssa and Laurel, who wordlessly accepted his offer and stepped away. Laurel was quick to go to Nyssa's side, touching a hand to the woman's arm in relief at seeing her whole and hale. Felicity knew that Laurel was still upset over what had happened to Nyssa and felt no small amount of guilt at how things had played out. She didn't doubt that Laurel would be glad for a few moments to confer with Nyssa privately, and Ray and Malcolm could begin work on a plan to stop Ra's.

But she, John, and Oliver definitely needed the room for a minute.

"Nyssa looks happy. You two on your honeymoon?" Felicity queried, her voice coming across uneven and stuffy, betraying how much she'd cried in the last few hours since Barry had dropped her off at Palmer Technologies. But where she greeted Oliver with sarcasm and hurt, Diggle was all fire and anger.

"The hell's going on Oliver?! Start talking!" John shouted, barely contained rage simmering at the surface as he stalked about like a feral cat, all too eager to attack. As he eyed Oliver warily, John circled around so that he stood once more between Oliver and Felicity, clearly none too keen on letting Oliver anywhere near her.

Felicity was alright with maintaining a healthy distance, truth be told. Oliver might claim to want to protect her, but actions spoke louder than words. And he had nearly strangled her to death less than a day ago. 

"The reason that I have kept Malcolm close for the past several months is because he had critical intel on our enemy. He knows Ra's. He knows the League. And he knew that if I was appointed his successor that meant Starling City was marked for death. The only way that we were going to defeat the League was from the inside. I had to get close enough to Ra's to find out how he was gonna destroy the city and stop it." Oliver rushed, desperation in his voice as he tried to explain, tried to make them see.

But all Felicity saw were the lies and the secrets and the betrayed trust that had once more prompted him to keep her at arm's length.

"You trusted Malcolm Merlyn more than you did the two people closest to you." John accused sharply, cutting to the heart of the problem and Felicity could only nod in agreement, her hands folded before her angrily.

"John it wasn't about trust! It was about making sure that you and you were safe." Oliver snapped, pointing at John and Felicity in turn. He hesitated as he pointed to Felicity though, his eyes dropping to her stomach. "I had to keep the circle as small as possible." Oliver growled. "Especially once I found out you were pregnant. I couldn't risk losing you – _any_ of you." His voice was barely above a whisper as he said the last part which was clearly meant for her. Despite herself, Felicity felt her resolve momentarily falter and she felt her fingers twitch with the urge to gently touch his face. But as she looked at him, the memory of his chokehold came screaming back to her; the terror, the suffocating knowledge that she was about to die and with her, her child.

Her resolve was renewed after that.

"How did you expect to repair all this once you got back?" Felicity questioned irately, taking an accusatory step closer to him, her eyes boring into his as he turned to face her so sharply she was surprised he didn't give himself whiplash.

"I didn't. I flew with Ra's and the virus to Starling and I sabotaged the plane. The plan was to kill Ra's and destroy the virus... It didn't work." Oliver said, his voice betraying his own nervousness as he touched upon this part of his plan. Narrowing her eyes at him, Felicity stepped closer still, watching how her proximity unnerved him.

"How did _you_ expect to survive the plane crash?" She demanded, studying him with single minded focus. As he processed her words, she watched him swallow nervously and set his jaw, his eyes betraying the answer to her question so clearly she nearly gasped.

"You didn't." Felicity nodded, clenching her teeth as she tried to swallow back her anger but found herself too overflowing with the emotion to tamp it down anymore. "You never expected to have this conversation. You were planning on dying. Even after you found out that you were going to be a father, you were going to abandon us."  Felicity's voice grew sharper and more shrill as she finished speaking, turning away from Oliver suddenly so she could storm across the executive floor, her whole body trembling with an all consuming rage.

"Felicity, it wasn't like that-"

"Then tell me what it _was_ like, Oliver! Because from where I'm standing? You were willing to die rather than be a father to this baby."

"I wasn't trying to abandon you, Felicity, I was trying to save you! _Both of you_!" Oliver shouted, bringing his fist to slam down on a nearby tabletop, his head lowered as he tried to sort out his own feelings. Diggle, meanwhile, had walked after Felicity and now stood alongside her, one hand gently touching upon her arm.

"Are you alright?" Diggle asked, his voice husky and low but in answer, all she could do was shake her head as she spun to face Oliver once again.

"So that was your big plan? Sacrificing yourself to take out Ra's?

"It was the only way." Oliver retorted, his voice level and calm, ringing with his own conviction. "At least now that it didn't work… I get a chance to tell both of you how sorry I am. And I get a chance to be the father that our baby deserves." Oliver stated firmly, his eyes seeking Felicity's gaze and holding it tight, leaving no room for argument.

"You think saying sorry means you get a free pass? You think saying _sorry_ makes up for almost getting us killed? For almost abandoning me to raise our baby _alone_?!" Felicity accused darkly as she rounded on him once more. And this was her anger towards him, yes, but this was something else too, something deeper. Residual anger and her own personal abandonment issues rearing their nasty heads at the notion that Oliver had almost abandoned her similar to how her father had abandoned her and her mother. And they were two completely separate circumstances, sure, but frack if she didn't feel like she was seven years old all over again, watching her mother cry and try to explain why 'Daddy' wasn't coming home.

How would she have explained his absence to their child? How would she have raised their child without him? Had he thought of that -  _any of that_?! Had he considered how losing him would hurt her? Hurt their baby? Hurt Thea, or any number of others that loved and cared for him? 

"Sorry won't cut it Oliver. Not this time." Diggle broke in, placing a restraining hand on Felicity's shoulder to hold her back as he tried to remind them of the urgency of their situation. "But we have bigger problems than hurt feelings and broken trust." He breathed, glancing from Oliver to Felicity and back again. Oliver bowed his head in grudging acquiescence and Felicity exhaled heavily but nodded.

"Laurel needs to contact her father. Ray needs to find a way to counteract the virus. I'm sure Malcolm told you – we don't have a lot of time." Oliver explained, prompting Felicity and Diggle to nod faintly.

"I'll work on locating them." Felicity mumbled lowly as she shuffled off to her preferred computer terminal. In her peripheral vision, she could see Oliver move as though to follow her, only to be cut off by Diggle falling into step after her with a dismissive shake of his head in Oliver's direction.

Good. She really could not handle being around him right now. It was too much. Too much hurt, too much anger, too much sorrow, too much longing, _just too much_.

"I'll be taking stock of what our 'arsenal' looks like." Diggle's voice was guttural and still tinged with hurt as he walked behind her, slowing as they neared her work space. "Will you be okay without me for a few?"

Felicity turned to glance back at where Oliver was still standing watching her, looking not unlike a kicked puppy.

"Yeah. We'll be okay." Felicity offered an unsteady smile and set to work as John spun quickly on his heel and made for the executive elevator. It was minutes later before Oliver edged nearer to her, loitering about near her in a manner that made it distinctly difficult to think when she could feel him so close by, could practically _feel_ his eyes on her.

"You're hovering." She snapped irritably, turning from her computer to glance at him. He appeared taken aback by her words, his face instantly turning apologetic.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright." He mumbled, tripping over himself to come up with an excuse."After everything… in Nanda Parbat."

"Well I'm not. The man that I love lied to me, made me think he was killing me and our unborn baby, then rescued me only so he could go on a suicide mission without so much as a goodbye. And somewhere in between all that he also married another woman and teamed up with a former nemesis of ours. It hasn't exactly been a banner day." Felicity loused. "But you meant physically, didn't you? Well then yeah, Oliver. I- _we_ – are right as rain." Felicity flapped her arms in defeat, shaking her head miserably as she tried to find some sense of inner peace and failed spectacularly. "But you hovering? That doesn't help things… I can't… I can't _think_ with you this close." She added quietly, desperately in need of the space to clear her head if she was going to have any chance at all of finding Ra's.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you." Oliver apologized as he backed away slowly, looking thunderstruck and confused as he stared at her like she had two heads.

"What?" She asked suddenly, curiosity replacing anger (momentarily). "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I- it's just- …You said-." He stopped and hung his head with a heavy sigh. "Forget it."

"No! What is it? Tell me. You know I hate mysteries!" She exclaimed and he shook his head as he raised his gaze to meet hers.

"You said- you said _'the man I love'_. Not… Not ' _the man I loved_ ". It wasn't past tense. That's all." He murmured, reduced to a stammering little boy before her very eyes. She shifted anxiously and went back to her work, focusing on the screen before her as she spoke again.

"Don't think this means you're forgiven. Because you aren't. My feelings go from zero to sixty in eight seconds flat because of the hormones. Yet another of the great joys of pregnancy, along with nausea, constantly sweating, and an ever growing stomach." She grumbled and he choked back a smile.

"Well, for what it's worth… pregnancy suits you. You look beautiful – sweat, stomach, hormones and all." He murmured, prompting her to pause in her work but not look at him.

_Damn him and his trademark 'Queen' charm._ How was it that in spite of everything, a word from him could make heat rise in her cheeks and her stomach churn with the good kind of butterflies? 

There was no earthly explanation for his prowess at wooing her. But she wasn't about to fold now; Oliver had a lot to atone for before she could ever consider trusting him again.

"I'll… leave you to your work." He murmured, backing away from her quickly as if realizing he might have overstepped his bounds. The sudden distance was much needed, finally allowing her to breathe easily. It was an odd sensation, feeling so on edge around the one person that had always felt like coming home. And she didn't care for it one bit. But she wasn't going to just accept his apology and move on.

But for now, it couldn't be allowed to matter that he had hurt her this badly. What had to matter first and foremost was the city and saving it from Ra's. And to do that, she needed to put all of her focus into finding him. Cracking her fingers nimbly, Felicity faced off with her screen and keyboard.

"Alright baby, Mama's gonna show you how to hack a security grid." Felicity cooed sweetly, patting her own stomach for good luck before she cracked her fingers and settled them atop the keyboard keys, her world feeling right once more as she returned to a world where she was in control. Hacking always made her feel right as rain.

"Let's do this." 


	11. Chapter 11

Felicity was able to lose herself in her computer work but whatever reprieve she found in it was short lived. All too soon Diggle returned, followed close after by Nyssa and Malcolm fresh from their search. Felicity managed to tune most of the background noise of their respective returns out right up until the point when Oliver approached her for a status update.

"Where are we?" Oliver asked tersely, giving her a wide berth as he carefully leaned away from her so as not to intrude on her personal space. He could probably sense her tension. Or her growing frustration. Or her raging hormones. Whatever the case, the wide berth was well judged.

"Nowhere." She answered, equally tense. "Ra's is old school. Every way I have of finding him is new school." She explained, tight lipped as she didn't so much as take her eyes off her screens, intent on finding their target. From behind her, she heard Digg, his voice slipping through the mental wall she'd thrown up to tune out the others.

"Oliver maybe we need to change the way we're looking for him. If we're trying to find a sub that's gone dark we should look for what's out of the ordinary in the water." Diggle explained in that ever so wisdom-y way of his as he approached her work table, surveying her screens briefly. Unlike Oliver, Diggle stood alongside her, keenly aware of Felicity's mood but no doubt aware that he was exempt from (most of) her hormonal rages, whereas Oliver was not, currently.  

"So we look for what's unusual and maybe that points us to how or where Ra's plans to release the virus." Oliver said, several long seconds behind Felicity in processing Diggle's advice. In that time though, Felicity was already pulling up a list of reported incidents and cross referencing them with customer complaints and comments on online forums to see what was amiss within the city.

The list was not a short one, and she quickly began to rattle off the list of unusual goings-on of Starling from within the last twenty four hours. _Traffic lights out of order, computers at banks offline, the top floor of The Essex hotel closed, an electrical spike_ -

"Wait go back - the top floor of The Essex is closed?" Malcolm commented and it was all Felicity could do not to bristle at the mere sound of his voice (okay, so maybe she bristled but at least she didn't make any of the snappy rejoinders that came instantly to mind – that was progress, right?).

"My father doesn't frequent hotels." Nyssa stated brusquely but Felicity was already digging into the hotel, if for no other reason than to shut Merlyn up. Unfortunately, what she found was not 'shut up and sit down and let me do my job' material. Because what she found? Yeah, definitely looked like a possible lead.

"According to internal emails the floor was shut down for a 'Damien Darhk'. A name like that has to be an alias." Felicity mused, holding back her additional commentary on the poor spelling choice of such a moniker. If someone was going to go to the pains of creating an alias, they could at least use proper spelling. ('Darhk', seriously? Was 'Dark' too simple to spell? Villains these days, _oye_ ).

But any such commentary died in her throat when she caught sight of Oliver's face before he whipped to look at Nyssa.

"Damien Darhk is in Starling City?"

Apparently this name meant more to Oliver than some evil villain-y type bad guy with a poor grasp on spelling in the English language.

"My father's most bitter enemy." Nyssa confirmed and Felicity felt a trickle of fear trace down her spine. What guy could be so terrible as to be a legitimate threat and nemesis to Ra's al Ghul? She wasn't exactly keen on finding out.

"That's why Ra's hasn't released the virus. He wants to use it to kill Damien Darhk. This was never just about my ascension. Ra's wants to take out his nemesis." Oliver realized aloud,

"Looks like you weren't the only one with a hidden agenda." Diggle commented from beside Felicity and it was all the blonde could do not to turn around so she could see Oliver's face respond to that. _Diggle burning Oliver… Team Arrow at its finest_. Felicity thought with a wry, sad little huff. If Oliver was upset by Diggle's words though, he gave no sign of it other than a heavy sigh before he spoke, trying to keep them all on track.

"This can work for us. Ra's wants Damien; so, we give him Damien." Oliver reasoned and Felicity frowned at her work station, turning to look at Oliver as warning bells started going off inside of her head. _That's not what we do_. _We don't deal in negotiating with bad guys and we definitely don't trade people to bad guys as negotiating chips._

"We trade Damien for the virus? That is remarkably ruthless and cold blooded. I approve." Malcolm commented, prompting Oliver to turn away from the older man and walk away, the others falling into step with him. Oliver hesitated as he passed by Felicity but kept walking, stopping only when he got to Ray.

"I need you to stay here and work on the innoculant and a containment system with Felicity." Oliver explained and Ray pursed his lips but nodded, clearly not keen on getting left behind but realizing his worth operating from here, sans-ATOM suit. "Keep them safe." Oliver added in an undertone that Felicity just barely caught.

And he could have meant a lot of things – the city, for one. But it didn't take a keen sense of intuition to know that he meant Felicity and the baby. With one backward glance her way (which Felicity pointedly dodged by staring at her computer screen), Oliver and the others swept off to find Damien Darhk, leaving Felicity and Ray alone in the tower.

She wasn't sure how many minutes had passed by before she could feel Ray's eyes on hers as she tried to continue working. On the verge of making an exasperated comment to him about his staring though, the dark haired billionaire spoke up.

"So um… how are you ah, feeling right now?" He asked nervously and Felicity gave a curt toss of her head as she spun away from the computer terminal and folded her arms in front of her.

"Malcolm Merlyn approves of this plan and Oliver and you and everyone else is going along with this like it is a-okay. Does no one else see how familiar this is? Oliver going with a plan that Malcolm Merlyn approves of. Where have we heard that before?" Felicity muttered as she fidgeted with her com as she tried to put it on her ears so she could communicate with the rest of the team, pausing in frustration to throw the tech piece down on her work station.

"Everyone I love is marching off into a city about to be infected by a bioweapon, following a plan that a mass murderer approves of while I sit here safe and away from the others, with heartburn that kills. But otherwise I'm great."Felicity grumbled, sighing heavily as she shook her head and glanced at Ray, who was staring at her, slack jawed and unsteady.

"I ah… just asked how you were feeling to see if you wanted tea…. I read that ginger is good for pregnant women to drink..." Ray offered nervously, prompting Felicity to bite her lower lip and squeeze her eyes shut.

"I'm sorry, Ray." She apologized, shaking her head. "I feel like I've been body snatched by my hormones." She confessed with a heavy sigh. "Thanks for the offer, that's really sweet but umm, I'll pass. The word 'tea' makes my stomach churn." She explained and he gave an open mouthed nod, still looking at her like she was a ticking time bomb.

Fidgeting uneasily, she tried to think of something to diffuse the awkward tension as she grabbed her com and this time, calmly managed to secure it to her ear.

"But I wouldn't say no to hot chocolate, if you've got any?" She offered hopefully and Ray, grasping desperately at the verbal life preserver she had tossed to him, sprang into action.

"Hot chocolate, coming right up."

As Ray disappeared to fetch said hot chocolate, Felicity's com crackled to life and the voices of her teammates rang in her ear as they rushed into position. And in many ways, it was no different than any of the other dozens or hundreds of times she'd listened over the coms as they'd worked in the past.

Murmured conversations. Reporting in on the number of enemies present in the field. The soft _thwick_ of an arrow, the dull grunts of physical blows being exchanged. But for some reason this time as she listened, Felicity felt her heart rate quicken more than normal, her breathing coming in more labored breaths. Her palms were suddenly exceedingly sweaty and she felt a crushing sense of fear as the team began their coordinated strike.

The idea of them, the people she most cared about so close to danger, out in the city with Ra's and the bioweapon still unaccounted for, left her feeling nauseous and shaken in a way that had nothing to do with morning sickness. It was when Oliver reached Damien's room that the world began to spin and in a frightened fit, Felicity wrenched her com off of her ear and threw it across the room.

With legs that felt like jelly beneath her, she sank to the floor, letting the cold tiles cool her flushed skin as she slowly worked on breathing in and out, doing her best to calm herself. _They're going to be okay_. She told herself, but the knot forming in her stomach would not untangle. The danger they now faced was both very real and it was omnipresent, leaving her feeling cornered and claustrophobic.

She was still curled into a ball when Ray returned with her hot chocolate, overflowing with concern until she shooed him away, insisting that he work on the containment system for the virus. It took a while, but between sips of hot chocolate and deep breaths, Felicity was feeling well enough to stand and work at her computer station by the time Oliver returned, his stride urgent.

"John, Malcolm, and Nyssa are on their way back. What happened with Darhk?" Felicity inquired as he entered the floor, cocking his head to the side as he looked at her in surprise, clearly shocked she hadn't been listening in.

"You weren't listening on the coms?" He asked and she gave a short shake of her head, lowering her eyes once more to her terminal to hide the look of shame that flashed across her face. She hated that she hadn't been on the coms and truthfully, she felt weak for not having been but she didn't want _him_ to know that.

"He was gone. The man that I found was a cut-out. Ra's plans to release the virus at four points across the city." Oliver explained, shooting Ray a look that said Oliver was in desperate need of good news. Fortunately, Ray had it for him.

"I worked out a containment system that can safely neutralize the virus - if we can get our hands on it." Ray explained from his terminal catty-corner to Felicity's.

"Well we need four of them. And a way to spread the innoculant if this gets out of control." Oliver responded, sidling closer to Felicity and her station as the blonde spoke up, hoping to redeem herself for her failure at listening in over the coms.

"I scrubbed through all the information that Malcolm gave us on the Hong Kong attack five years ago. The Alpha Omega virus gave off a low level emission from its RNA almost like radiation-"

"-If you could hack the keyhole hexagon satellite you could tune the quadband to search for it!" Ray interrupted, his speech slowing as realization crossed his features.  "Which is what you've been doing for the last five minutes…" He trailed off with a weighty nod as he returned his focus to his computer. Felicity, having lost her train of thought at Ray's interruption, turned back to look at Oliver to see the most microscopic smile fading from his face as he looked at her, only to sober when he realized her eyes were on him.

"We need probable locations where he would release the virus as soon as you can get them." Oliver stated and while it was a pretty obvious statement to make, Felicity didn't comment on it, instead nodding briefly.

"Mhmm." She murmured, her fingers flying over the keyboard as she hacked into satellite footage of the city to aid in her search as she tracked down their targets. Oliver lingered for a moment more, watching her work before he strode off for the more private, office-like work space in one corner of the floor, leaving Felicity and Ray to their work.

Felicity couldn't decide whether it was a good thing or a bad thing that the work in question was more time consuming than it was challenging. All she had to do was set the program to run and wait. On the one hand, it left her free to confront her very own leather clad, handsome faced, former billionaire demon. But on the other hand, every minute that it took them to hunt down Ra's and his vessels was another minute that people of Starling could be exposed to the virus.

She was going to try and look at this as a 'cup half full' kind of situation though and so she was going to tackle her personal, green, vigilante-ing elephant in the (next) room. Hitting 'ENTER' on her keyboard to initialize the search, she watch as the computer sifted through the feeds she had pulled up, searching for her targets. The system was set to send an alert to her phone when the targets were located. Which meant, until that time, she was free to confront Oliver.

Slipping away from her terminal, she went to fix him a drink, partly out of a need to busy herself before facing him and partly as a peace offering. She hadn't exactly been the most cordial to him (even if he'd deserved her anger). But he was still the father of her child; he deserved at least a civil conversation.

With the steaming cup grasped between her hands, Felicity made her way back into the executive floor, bypassing Ray and the others, who had straggled in after their failed attempt to capture Damien. Ignoring the raised brows directed her way, Felicity walked towards the somewhat more private area Oliver had shut himself into and pushed open the door without so much as a warning knock.

"I know I said I would never, ever bring you coffee again but the city facing a bioweapon attack seemed like a valid exception." She murmured softly, hesitating in the doorway as he spun in the chair he was sitting in to face her. "The bioweapon and y'know… pending fatherhood too. I'm not sure which one is more frightening for you at the moment, honestly." She commented as he stared at her, clearly holding back a smile. Having gained his attention, she slipped inside the office, the coffee cup she was using as her metaphorical white flag held out before her.

He took it hesitantly, his hand raised in acceptance and his fingers uncertain, as if afraid to so much as touch her. Internally, she winced at the awkwardness that had never before invaded their interactions but outwardly she simply placed the cup into his waiting hands, doing her best to ignore the way his fingers contracted so he didn't inadvertently touch her.

_Little touches used to come so easily to us._

Shaking off the notion, she studied him as he studied her in kind, both of them dancing around each other apprehensively in a way they never had before. Taking a breath, she tried to keep her voice level, intent on talking with him about at least one of the issues nagging at her, preventing her from embracing his return whole heartedly.

"So your plan to trick Ra's by making me think I was dying… And your plan to take out Ra's by dying yourself. We should talk about that." She intoned firmly, folding her hands before her in a steadying motion. In answer, Oliver drank deeply from the mug, his expression suddenly morphing to one of surprise as he choked down the mouthful of warm liquid.

"I thought you said it was coffee." He spluttered, eliciting a half grimace, half smile from Felicity.

"Well, it was going to be but… I'm not drinking coffee on account of, well…" She gestured to her stomach and Oliver nodded, his brows raised in amusement as she continued. "But we did make some hot chocolate earlier and so I brought you that instead. Just the smell of coffee puts me into a coffee-withdrawal-induced rage. So I thought I'd spare us all that experience." Felicity hummed and Oliver nodded in sudden, fervent agreement.

"Hot chocolate it is then." He encouraged, his head bobbing up and down as he eagerly agreed to anything that helped him avoid her wrath. As silence again settled over the two of them, they stared at each other nervously and Oliver fidgeted beneath her gaze as he wrestled with the answer to her conversation starter.

"The truth?" He asked and she cocked her head at him, fixing him with _the look._

"Do I ever ask you for anything else?" She countered and he sighed.

"You're not going to like it." He confessed and she shrugged, folding her arms before her.

"At this point, I think I should be used to not liking your recent decisions." She shot back, closing her eyes suddenly and putting a hand to her forehead, massaging it fiercely. "Sorry, that was… Yes. The truth. _Please_. Even if I won't like it, I need to know." She confirmed and he eyed her appreciatively before he began.

"Every night since the mountain I've had the same dream. You are pleading with me not to go face Ra's and I listen to you. Sometimes the dream still ends badly – I end up with this sword in my chest." He explained, tapping his finger against the very sword that Ra's had plunged into his gut, the same sword that Malcolm had brought back with him from Tibet as proof of Oliver's alleged passing. Felicity felt a shiver pass through her as her eyes fell onto the sharpened steel, recalling all too vividly the way it had looked the first time.

Blood encrusted, glinting maliciously in the low light of the Foundry, breaking every dream she'd dared to let herself cling to. She certainly didn't envy Oliver's dreams that ended with this sword; that was for certain.

"But most of the time we escape. And we're just driving. And all this seems, it seems so far away because it's just… it's the two of us." He went on, his expression changing to one of far off wonder as a faint smile pulled at the corners of his lips, leaving the ghost of joy transfixed on his face.

"After Diggle told me you were pregnant and then I saw you in that cell, _glowing_ with life?" He paused to clear his throat before he started over. "Felicity, I would have done anything to protect you before I knew you were pregnant. You know that. I killed the Count and I would kill him or anyone else that threatened you a hundred times over to keep you safe. But _pregnant_ you? I didn't know how to keep you safe – either of you. I was going insane trying to think of something. And there wasn't time for me to come up with anything sane or intelligent and I just… I _snapped_. I can't bear the thought of losing you. And losing both of you?" He exhaled slowly, his body nearly vibrating with pain.

"It was stupid. And it was a bad plan. I know that. But it was the _only_ thing I could think of that kept you and the baby alive. It wasn't plan B or even plan C. Felicity, it was plan Z. There was no backup plan, no alternative. I ran through everything I could think of and the only plan that didn't end with you or our baby dying was me faking your death. I tried to let you know… I whispered in your ear before you passed out but…" He shook his head, his distress practically palpable.

"I'm sorry." He said, his voice and eyes hollow as he stared blankly ahead of him, his fingers gripping the mug of hot chocolate tightly. "On the plane here with Ra's I had the dream again. But it wasn't just the two of us. It was the three of us." He shivered, his eyes glossed over as he lost himself in the memory of his dream, a smile forming once more on his face. "You and me and this _beautiful_ , _perfect_ , _amazing_ little baby. _Our_ baby. And it was the three of us and we were together and happy and _safe_."

He stopped then, shaking his head.

"I know what you said in Nanda Parbat. About how you turned out fine without a father and… and how our baby would too."

"I… may have been slightly out of line there. To be fair it was a mixture of the hormones and fear and anger and adrenaline talking." Felicity coughed, shifting self consciously as she interrupted him but Oliver merely shook his head in answer, appearing not angry but accepting.

"I betrayed your trust. I see that now. But Felicity if I… If I can find a way to stop Ra's and still survive this? I can't watch my child grow up and not be involved in its life. I said I wasn't trying to abandon you and that's true. If I make it out of this, I'm going to be there for you – I'll help you raise our baby, if you'll let me."

"I know you think that it's possible for us to move past this and put the pieces all back together, Oliver but… us co-parenting? That's not a realistic best case scenario." She shook her head, feeling her heart twist painfully at the way his face fell, utterly crushed.

"If you're going to be this willing to throw your life away, you're just going to end up hurting everyone around you – myself and this baby included. And even if you don't mean to, you'll still be leaving us alone, with all the pain and heartache that entails." Felicity explained, her hand hovering over his for a moment before she covered his fingers with hers, threading them together in a small but intimate motion. "You need to realize that your life means more to us than that; you can't just go throwing it away to try and beat someone like Ra's. It's one thing to risk your life to protect the people you care about while trying to come home safe to them. It's another to just casually throw your life away. If you realize that-"

"Felicity, I can't defeat Ra's al Ghul." Oliver stated as he rose from his chair and turned to face her and the cup of cocoa, looking apologetic and smaller than she'd ever seen him. "I have tried and I have failed." Oliver interrupted her, shaking his head heavily. "The only play left is a sacrifice hit." He explained and she felt her nose wrinkle in confusion.

_"Huh?_ "

"It's… It's a baseball term. You intentionally hit a play that you know will get you thrown out but will advance another runner. You help the team, at your own expense." He explained as Felicity blinked at him owlishly. _Great. Baseball metaphors._ Totally not what she needed right now.

"Maybe Oliver Queen couldn't beat Ra's. And maybe The Arrow couldn't. But do you remember what you said to me during our night together in Nanda Parbat? You're no longer either of those men. You've become someone else. Become _something_ else. This is different now," she slipped her palm over his heart, "because despite your best efforts you've allowed yourself to feel something. I know you think that that's a weakness - it's not. It's your key to beating Ra's. Not a 'sacrifice hit' – you're worth more than that, Oliver. Don't fight to kill Ra's or to get yourself killed. Fight for this team. For _us_. _For our family_. Fight so we can live – all of us. So that we _can_ drive off and be together and happy and safe." She exhaled softly. And in one swift motion she grabbed his hand with hers and brought it to rest across her stomach.

His eyes widened instantly, his nostrils flaring and lips parting as he stared at her in awe. Oliver's fingers spread slowly across her middle as he continued to stare at Felicity, his eyes slowly dropping to her midsection. In almost slow motion, he sank to his knees, bringing his other hand to rest on her hip. Glancing up at her face to be certain she wasn't angry at this development, Oliver slowly leaned forward to rest his forehead against the barely-there swell to her stomach, holding fast to her as he did so,

They stood in companionable silence like that, temporarily taking a hiatus from their hurt feelings and sense of betrayal. And for a brief moment, the events of the last few weeks melted away and she felt the familiar comfort that came from being near him.

"What is our actual best case scenario, Felicity?" He queried, his voice rough. Before she could answer, her phone jangled, cutting into the quiet and stealing her focus as she read the notification that flashed brightly across the screen.

"Satellite trace is back. I've got four locations." She whispered urgently, moving her hand to cradle his cheek in a gesture that was more reflexive than intentional. He closed his eyes, leaning into the touch and clinging to the moment for a brief second more before he opened his eyes and rose to his feet, renewed purpose glimmering in his gaze.

"Good. Let's go."


	12. Chapter 12

Their voices rang out over the coms and Felicity took a deep, steadying breath.

"I'm on site." _Oliver_. _Steady. Strong. Sure._

"On site." _Laurel._ _Accompanied by Nyssa. On edge, tense but ready and capable._

"On site." _Merlyn_ , _sounding entirely too eager_.

"On site and I have no idea what I should be looking for around here." _John, irritated, predatory – anxious._

"Do you see anyone in a League of Assassins outfit? That would be a dead giveaway." Felicity piped up on her end of the coms, practically feeling all of their eyes roll at her poor attempt at humor. But if diffusing the tension even one iota was something her bad jokes could do, she couldn't really resist.

Jumping between the three computer screens at her terminal, Felicity was scanning video footage from across the city when she heard the low, unfamiliar voice crackle distantly from Oliver's feed.

"I have no weapons and I have no virus. Ra's al Ghul waits for you on the Starling City Dam. He wishes to be in your presence as your city dies."

Chills. And not the good kind. _How does a low tech guy manage to sneak up on us at every turn when I'm turning the city upside down trying to look for him and his men?!_ It was irritating in the extreme, to say the least.

"And what makes him think that I won't just stay focused on saving my city?" Oliver's voice was brittle with the anger and resentment she could feel rolling off of his voice.

"Because he knows of your deluded belief that you can defeat him in battle. And you know that as long as the demon's head lives, he will continue to threaten your home – and your unborn child."

Felicity blanched, wide eyes going unfocused as she clutched the desktop before her uneasily. _How does Ra's know? Oliver was convinced that he'd kept it a secret – that's why he faked my death in the first place_.

Felicity could sense that her panic was shared as Oliver dismissed his unknown visitor and it was all she could do not to beg him to come back. She felt suddenly vulnerable and exposed; despite the security Ray had assured them was in place, Felicity looked around nervously, half expecting League men to spring out and attack.

She'd feel safer if Oliver was here beside her, protecting her. But she couldn't ask that of him. Not now. Not when the city and numerous innocent lives were at stake. But _frack_ , how she wished she could.

"Felicity," Oliver growled in a low, feral voice and Felicity swallowed once nervously as she tried to find her voice.

"I know. We'll be fine. Go." She encouraged, swallowing her fear as much as she could in that moment. Which wasn't much, if she was being honest.

"I know what I'm fighting for, Felicity. He won't beat me this time." Oliver said softly, his verbal reassurance as gentle as if he'd stroked her face. But she felt no better for having heard the words.

"Just know… I'm going to be really pissed if you die." Felicity choked out, attempting to hold back a sob and half succeeding. "You're supposed to be my partner in the months of sleep deprivation in our future." She reminded him and she heard his soft, low laughter on the other end of the call and somehow, it was this that _did_ comfort her.

"I will be." The words were spoken like a solemn vow. "You know… the old me would just go without telling you, and turn off my coms." Oliver commented and Felicity gulped nervously.

"And the new you?"

"My com will be on the whole time. Scout's honor." And she could practically _hear_ the smile in his voice as she grumbled back at him.

"You were never a boy scout."

"You get the idea; I'll leave it on. You'll be with me the entire time." He assured and she nodded, feeling mildly more at ease until John's voice cut in, stealing her focus.

"Yeah I got a runner carrying a metal briefcase."

Felicity spun to face the third computer terminal, her fingers flying as she sought the video footage from cams in John's quadrant and just managed to catch sight of a fleeing man with John in hot pursuit.

"Bioweapon's gonna be in the briefcase.... 'Kay I'm scrubbing footage from traffic and surveillance cameras at the remaining three locations." Felicity announced as she moved to the next terminal and continued her diligent quest, all the while straining to listen as everything began to unfold over the coms. She heard John yell at the suspect, and the soft whistle of arrows soon followed, accompanied by an approving sound from John.

"Don't move."

The voice was all too familiar but no less jarring to hear, seeing as the last she'd heard from her, the individual in question was headed out of Starling in pursuit of the guy she loved.

"Nice threads." Felicity heard John comment in a contented murmur.

"Thanks." Felicity heaved a sigh as she watched Thea, dressed in Roy's old red getup, hop down from her vantage point within Nelson Plaza, thankfully looking unscathed.

"Back in town, I see." Felicity groused over the com, eliciting a chuckle from her child's aunt.

"Well I got your note and, let's be real, Aunt Thea never misses a party. And I brought compa-." Thea's voice was brimming with mirth but Felicity was far from amused as she interrupted the younger brunette.

"Umm, Thea? Generally best to avoid using your actual name while you're… y'know… in the field? _Incognito_."  Felicity chastised, passing a hand over her face as she grimaced, only to have her attention stolen away by a frantic call from John.

"Felicity the briefcase is empty. It's empty!" John shouted into the coms and Felicity's eyes darted to one of her computer screens, watching as her partner whirled on the League member before him. "Where's the virus? _Where's the virus_?!" John roared, standing over the fallen man and shaking him with enough intimidation that Felicity almost felt bad for the guy.

Almost. But not quite.

It was then that Felicity saw civilians begin to drop within the plaza, while others doubled over clutching their sides. John seemed to see at the same time as she did, because his voice echoed in her ear, alight with fear and horror.

" _He_ is the weapon. Ra's is using his own men to disperse the virus!"

"And we will not be stopped. For the will of Ra's al Ghul is our own." The League man's voice was a vindictive hiss and as Felicity watched, he produced a knife from within the folds of his armor and in a quick slash, took his own life, his infected blood gushing forth from his body as John yelled over the ensuing panic at the same time that Felicity did.

"No no no no no!"

\-----

Stepping out atop the dam walkway, Oliver allowed his eyes to skim across the outline of Starling City, the bright lights twinkling out in the dark of night. Here was his city, laid out before him. And at any moment, those lights might gutter out as the city became ground zero for a bioweapon the likes of which would decimate the city – and possibly beyond.

It was not lost on him that Ra's considered this a front row seat to the finest show around for miles.

Reaching up to the com in his ear, Oliver resisted the urge to disable the com in his ear. It was better that Felicity not be able to hear what came next; if he failed, he didn't want her to listen to him take his dying breaths. And if he succeeded?

Well. She already knew he was a killer. He didn't feel the need to remind her of it if he could help it. But he'd told her he would keep it on the entire time. And if she needed him to _show_ her that he'd changed? Then this was a step towards doing just that. He wasn't alone anymore; and he had to start acting like it.

"I knew you couldn't resist." The disembodied voice of Ra's floated out across the night, stealing away Oliver's attention as the man in question stepped out into view, looking like the cat that got the cream. "The man who survives the sword of Ra's al Ghul shall become Ra's al Ghul." Ra's leered tauntingly as Oliver fell still before him. Oliver had donned his League armor, the black hood thrown up as he stared down the man that had very nearly cost him everything.

"So you brought me here to kill you." Oliver stated in a level tone, and Ra's smiled in answer, his eyes alight with mischief.

"Either way I am victorious. You either ascend to Ra's as I have designed… or you will die, and the last thing you will ever see is your beloved city succumbing to disease and death – your love and your unborn child included."

It was the sort of blatant threat that would have sent Oliver into a red eyed rage a year, a month, a week, hell even an _hour_ ago. But after having spoken with Felicity and laid his hands upon her stomach, Oliver had changed. He knew what he was fighting for. And Felicity was right – his love was a strength. Not a weakness; he would not allow Ra's to prey upon that love.

"You won't lay a hand on them." Oliver responded with certainty, leveling a cool, collected look in the direction of Ra's, doing his best to keep from being provoked. It was what Ra's wanted, he knew; to incite him into making a haphazard, foolish attack. But Oliver would not be so easily roused. His entire world had a new center of balance and that center lay perfectly protected within the walls of Palmer Technologies, guarded by the best that technology could provide. If anyone in Starling City was safe in this moment, it was Felicity and his child. And much though he was loathe to admit it, Ray was no stolid body guard; he'd protect Felicity and the baby with his last breath. Or at least, Oliver believed that he would.

Ra's could poke and prod all he wanted, but his words would not penetrate Oliver's sense of calm. He wasn't fighting just for himself. Or even just for the city. He was fighting for his family. And if ever there had been a motivator for Oliver Queen, it was the protection of his loved ones.

\-----

"Get back! Go! Go, go, go, go, go! Go run! Everybody get back" Felicity listened, her fingers pressed to her temples as John did his best to evacuate the plaza. Even as she watched though, the body count rose and she felt like she might faint when she heard John's voice, low and gruff and directed at Thea."You've gotta get out of here!"

_"Oh my god, Thea_!" Felicity panicked, envisioning a double funeral for both Queen siblings if things went as far south as it seemed they might. _There is a limit to what I can handle and that is so far beyond my ability to cope_.

"No, Malcolm inoculated me!!" Thea reassured the pair and Felicity buried her face in her hands, allowing herself to take a breath.

"Remind me to thank him for that later." Felicity moaned, tugging at the collar of her shirt as she shrugged out of her jacket, feeling suddenly hot and sweaty as her heart raced entirely too fast. Patching into all of the team's coms, Felicity tried to collect herself.

"Outbreak at Nelson Plaza, it's bad. It looks like the virus spreads when infected blood is exposed to open air." Felicity announced, trying not to spend undue focus on the fact that Oliver remained silent on his end.

"Even if we find Ra's' men how are we supposed to stop them from spreading the virus?" Laurel queried apprehensively and Felicity felt like her mind was a mess as she scrambled for an answer.

"Really bad temporary solution? Get them off the streets in as secure a place as possible and do _not_ let them cut themselves." She advised, keenly aware that she was offering not only the most obvious but also potentially difficult answer to Laurel's question. It was one of those 'easier said than done' situations. But it was all she had to offer.

"Ms. Smoak I've taken out one of Ra's' men." Merlyn announced rather cheerily and Felicity cringed, on the verge of asking exactly what Malcolm's definition of 'taking out' was until she caught sight of the video feed and her lips pressed closed.

_Stupid question_. Of course Merlyn's answer was death. But Felicity really did not have time to give him a stern talking to about how Team Arrow operated (namely, as death-free as possible). What mattered now was saving the city.

"Don't take chances. Put that body someplace airtight and try not to kill anyone else while you're at it." Felicity chastised hurriedly, turning away from her work station to check in on Ray, who was scrambling about frantically at his own work station, looking about as overwhelmed as she felt. "The virus is spreading – can you replicate the inoculant?"

_Please say yes_.

"That is the easy part. The hard part is disseminating it over a three block radius." Ray explained, his eyes darting across his screen as he deleted a large chunk of code and began typing like he was possessed. He was typing so fast, in fact, that he was practically a machine.

_A machine…. Machines!_

"Your nanotech! Can you make them airborne?" Felicity gasped, grabbing Ray by the upper arm and clinging to him like her life depended on it.

"That is what I'm trying to do." Ray confirmed and Felicity paused for a moment.

Huh. He'd thought of it before her. Pregnancy brain really must have her off her game.

"Baby, I get that you need lots of nutrients to grow but for the next twenty minutes, let's direct all the juice we can to Mama's brain, okay? I'm going to need all the help I can get if I'm gonna get our home and your daddy out of this mess." Felicity whispered softly, stroking the planes of her stomach fondly as she moved back to her computer terminal and immersed herself in their rescue effort once more.

"Now there's a scary thought; Oliver as a dad." A familiar but unexpected voice broke through the tension and panic and Felicity and Ray startled and looked up to find Roy standing before them. Dressed in his trademark hoodie and with his hands shoved into his pockets, he looked much the same as one would expect. But even as Felicity's wide eyes took him in, she could see the shadow of stubble on his face, could see the set of his jaw and the look in his eyes. His time away had changed him; how much remained to be seen. 

"R- _Roy_?" Felicity gasped in surprise, unable to believe her eyes.

"In the flesh… Hey blondie." His answering tease shook her out of her shock-induced paralysis and she rushed forward to throw her arms around him in a quick hug before she stared him down intently.

"Don't get me wrong I am really happy to see you and we can have a discussion about what _a terrible_ a decision it was for you to risk coming back here but right now, I need to know how you got past Ray's security because I don't know if you're aware, but we've got some giant, neon targets painted on our backs right now." Felicity questioned intensely, her eyes trained unblinkingly on Roy as she gripped him by both forearms, prompting him to stare at her with the mildest note of unease.

"Umm.... Thea gave me a passcode? She told me it would disarm the system long enough for me to get up here. She thought you guys might need some help?" Roy explained slowly, hesitantly and Felicity sighed and her body relaxed, nodding. Of course - Thea had been with Roy when things began to go south. No surprise she'd brought him back with her. And like the good little Aunt-to-be that she was, Thea had sent her boyfriend (ex-boyfriend? Felicity wasn't really clear on their status) to protect her little niece or nephew and Felicity.

It would have been sweet if it wasn't also incredibly stupid of Roy to risk being here.

"You know this is the  _worst_ time for you to be risking your neck to come visit, right?" Felicity teased gently as she hurried back to her desk, fixing her friend with a stern look which Roy returned with a boyish smile as he shook his head. 

"You have only yourself to blame; you didn't think I'd miss out on this, did you? I gotta be around to meet lil' Arrow Junior when he's born." Roy smirked and Felicity shook her head smilingly. 

"Yeah well for now, park it, mister. The city's crawling with cops and the last thing I need is another Team Arrow member to worry about." She scolded lightly, her brows furrowing as she once more lost herself in the technology at her fingertips. Still unsure as to why Roy (and by extension, Thea) had gained his security codes, Ray gaped at Felicity and Roy alike in disbelief, finally closing his mouth and returning to his nanotech work.

He would never understand Team Arrow. Just...  _never._

\-----

"You choose a sword that has already defeated you in battle." Ra's commented as Oliver unsheathed the sword still stained with his own blood. In answer, Ra's drew his own weapon and waited, clearly intending for Oliver to make the first move.

He did not wait long.

Oliver swept forward in a fierce and fast attack, sweeping left and right with his sword before he ducked and rolled, doing his best to dart in and out of flurries unscathed. More than once, however, he failed. Ra's swept his feet out from under him and it was only his quick reflexes that saved Oliver from taking another sword to the gut as he rolled aside. He kicked Ra's away with a well placed blow to the gut, earning himself enough time to regain his feet as he lurched away, breathing heavily from the fall.

_Focus. For Felicity – and the baby._

He swung his sword then, deviating from the normal rhythm he fell into during swordplay, catching Ra's' ribs but not hard enough to do true damage. In answer, his enemy kicked back, sending Oliver hurtling into the railing on the edge of the dam.

"Something has changed within you, boy. Your will to live burns brighter and yet you rejected my offer of eternal life." Ra's mused between parries and Oliver felt something within him swell as he recalled Felicity's words. _You've become someone else. Become something else._ And even Ra's could sense the change, it seemed.

"What you were offering wasn't living." Oliver countered, throwing Ra's off of him in a sudden movement. Freed from the hold Ra's had had on him, Oliver seized the opportunity to take a fierce slash at Ra's, only to have the blow blocked by a late uptick of his opponent's sword. They exchanged blows in a flurry of motion at that point, swerving and ducking and turning to try and catch one another off guard. It was not until they had locked swords once more that Ra's spoke up again.

"Power serves you no interest. You'd rather what? Be a husband? A father? Have love instead of might? You are a harbinger of death, Al Sah-him; you will never be content to simply be a father. You are destined for more than that; the honor of being Ra's is at your fingertips. You need only take it."

"A man who condemns his daughter to death wouldn't understand." Oliver retorted hotly, the very idea of betraying his child the way Ra's had betrayed Nyssa making his blood boil and his resolve strengthen. He had yet to even see so much as an ultrasound picture or hear the heartbeat of his child and yet, he knew already that he could never do to his son or daughter what Ra's had done to Nyssa.

It was unthinkable.

"The greatest honor I could ever have is to love and be loved by the woman that now carries my child, and to raise that child alongside her." Oliver countered, dealing a heavy blow that Ra's only narrowly managed to avoid, sending the Demon's Head stumbling back three paces as Oliver advanced.

"You have allowed your mind to narrow; you are blind to your own potential." Ra's growled accusingly and Oliver shook his head as he sent a well aimed kick at the older man, catching him in the knee and sending him back another painful, hobbling step.

"No; I finally see that my compassion is not a weakness; it is your _lack_ of compassion that is weakness." Oliver challenged, just as Ra's swung a hefty blow at his head. Ducking, Oliver felt the whisper of wind at his neck as the blade sang just over his head.

Though the blade missed, the follow-up punch that Ra's launched behind it did not. Oliver took the blow directly to his right ear, prompting a cracking sound to temporarily deafen him as the com in his ear crunched.

_Shit_.

The fragments slipped from his ear and before he could dwell on the fact that he was now incommunicado with the rest of his team, Oliver found himself ducking to avoid another attack as Ra's kicked his assault into high gear.

\-----

"Detective-Captain!" Felicity corrected herself, frazzled beyond belief as she answered his call amidst the chaos as she watched her teammates working in tandem across the city to stop the 'vessels' Ra's had sent to infect Starling. Thus far, John's one in Nelson Plaza and Malcolm's second had been accounted for. And as she watched from security cameras, Laurel and Nyssa teamed up to take down number three.

_Just one more to go._

"We've got a problem." The captain rumbled on the other end of the phone, making Felicity pause and close her eyes for a moment. _Of course we have a problem. Because we've already got about a thousand, so what's one more?_

"You're gonna have to be a lot more specific." Felicity answered as she twisted to her left and tapped away frantically at her keyboard, attempting to zero in on the fourth 'vessel'.

"I'm pretty sure your boy's at the Starling City Dam-" the Captain began, and Felicity felt her heart plummet to her feet, the memory of the message Ra's had sent with one of his men still all too fresh. _That's him alright_ , Felicity thought uneasily, very much afraid of what the Captain was about to say.

Suddenly, she was acutely aware of the fact that Oliver hadn't said anything on the coms in a while – and nor had she heard anything from his end. _Please no_. "-and I got officers not listening to me, getting ready to shoot him. Now despite what I think about your guy, I don't want to see him killed when I _think_ he's trying to save this city. But unless you order up a miracle pretty quick, that's exactly what's gonna happen." Lance warned and Felicity felt numb as he hung up with her, her blood running cold as the sound of John sounded distantly in her earpiece.

"Got number four."

And that _should_ have been good. That _should_ have been an enormous relief. But instead, all Felicity could picture was Oliver, alone atop the dam, facing off with Ra's al Ghul. Completely unaware of the police down below preparing to kill him.

"Hold on a second John we have a new problem! Oliver? Oliver can you hear me? _Oliver there are officers with orders to shoot when they have a clear shot at you – get out of there!_ " Felicity gasped across the coms, his silence spurring her into sudden, frenzied motion. Leaving her terminal, Felicity went skidding on the slick floor tiles as she rushed from her work station to Ray's, where the tech genius was hard at work on the nanotech. "Quick you have to get to Starling City Dam – you have to fly!" Felicity pleaded, nails digging into Ray's biceps as she clutched him tightly in desperation.

"I'm still uploading the operating code to the nanotech. And I'm still rewriting on the fly I-I can't leave the station! Why?" Ray queried, his brows furrowed with concern as he stared down at her, his fingers hovering over the keyboard, momentarily frozen.

"Oliver's in trouble, he needs your help." She explained breathlessly, unable to help the tears collecting in her eyes as precious seconds ticked past, each one possibly bringing Oliver nearer to death – either at the hands of Ra's or Starling City's not-so-finest.

"Felicity if I can't get the nanotech to disperse the inoculant, thousands of people in this city will die." Ray explained gently, pulling firmly away from her grasp as he resumed his furious coding, his expression one of subdued sorrow.

"What? Ray, no! _Oliver!!_ " Felicity protested, her voice shaking as she begged, pleaded for him to do something, anything to save Oliver.

"-Is one life against the city's - what would Oliver do?" Ray questioned softly, his dark eyes lifting to meet hers before he turned his focus back to his work.

"He is the father of my child." Felicity rallied, her voice soft and pained as she framed her midsection protectively, even as her stomach lurched with her overwhelming sense of anxiety and terror.

"And there is an entire city of fathers and children down there that will die if I leave here… I'm sorry Felicity. Really." Ray responded, turning his back to Felicity in a move that unequivocally showed her that his decision was made – and he wouldn't be going to Oliver's rescue.

"Then _I_ need to borrow your suit." Felicity stated resolutely and Ray whipped his head up to look at her so quickly it was a miracle he didn't have whiplash.

"What?! No. Absolutely not! Who knows what effects the suit could have on the baby?! And what if you crash? Or get shot?"

He was right. She didn't want him to be, but _frack_. He was. And she couldn't put the baby in danger again – not after everything in Nanda Parbat. She'd been terrified when she'd thought she was about to die – and with her, her baby. She couldn't risk her unborn child's life again. Even for Oliver.

"You might not be able to fly… but I can."

Felicity and Ray both turned suddenly as Roy stared them down, his expression serious as he approached the pair, his arms folded before him. Stepping forward as if entranced, Felicity's hands rose to land on Roy's forearms, gripping him tightly as she clung to her last hope.

"Roy... are you serious?" Felicity questioned intensely, her eyes trained unblinkingly on his, prompting him to stare at her with the mildest note of unease.

"Serious about flying your billionaire boyfrien-" Roy began, only to be cut off as Felicity and Ray interrupted him in unison.

"He's not my boyfriend."

"I'm not her boyfriend."

The three blinked at each other owlishly for a moment before Roy resumed the conversation, his brows lifted high in uncertainty and amusement.

" _Anyway_ – yeah, I'm up for flying his super suit. Whatever you need."

"Assuming I was even willing to let you – do you even know how to fly?" Ray questioned harshly as he resumed his frantic coding, glancing up briefly at Roy before returning to his screens.

"It's like a video game, right? Can't be that hard." Roy shrugged and Felicity though Ray might have a cardiac episode. Tugging Roy towards the suit, she put up a hand to stop the protest Ray had lifted his eyes from the screen to make.

"We can operate it remotely. I just need you, in the suit."

"If this thing can be controlled remotely, why exactly do you need me?" Roy questioned as Felicity practically shoved him into the heavy metal suit, jamming the head piece on roughly.

"Because if Oliver needs backup, you're definitely better equipped to help him than I would be. So you handle the fighting, I'll handle the flying." Felicity explained as she finished securing Roy into the suit. He seemed entirely too small within the metal contraption, looking as though he'd been engulfed by it, but she didn't have time to fret over the fit.

Hurrying to the workbench where the remote operation equipment was kept, Felicity strapped it onto herself as quickly as she could force her fingers to move, glancing at Ray as she did so.

"You have a pretty good window guy, right?" She asked, prompting Ray to look up, confused.

"What? Yeah… why?" He queried nervously just as Felicity brought the equipment online and glanced at Ray.

"You're going to need to call him tomorrow." Felicity said by way of answer, smashing a button and throwing her arms forward. In sync with her movements, the suit (and Roy) suddenly shot forward, shattering the glass pane nearest to them as Felicity sent her only hope at saving Oliver hurtling out into the dark night sky.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter (but not really - there will be an epilogue!). Thanks for hanging with me on this journey and for all your comments and kudos. There will definitely be more Arrow/Olicity fic from me in the future so stay tuned for more and thanks for reading!

"Unlike you, thousands of honorable men will mourn my death when I leave this earth." Ra's taunted Oliver from his vantage, leering down on his onetime heir. A precisely timed kick and rush forward had led to Oliver being trapped before Ra's on his knees, weaponless and seemingly completely at the mercy of the Demon's Head.

"No." Oliver's voice was a primal thing as he vehemently refused to admit defeat before Ra's. It was then that he surged forward in the same moment that Ra's swung his sword. Oliver grabbed the weapon and wrenched it from his opponent's grasp, lunging forward with it as he brought the blade home and buried it deep within the man's stomach. Tugging the sword free, Oliver stared down at the man who had once seemed like such an unbeatable specter. "They will kneel before the next Ra's al Ghul." Oliver announced as he glared down at Ra's. Then, Oliver granted his enemy one final gift as his tongue curled around the foreign syllables as he said the blessing that Ra's had once uttered over him before shoving him off the mountain in Nanda Parbat.

"I knew I chose well with you, boy." Ra's breathed, using the last of his earthly strength to hand Oliver the ring that conferred power of the League. It was then that he sagged to the ground, crumpling with death like the mortal man he was.

Oliver stood before the body, breathing heavily as he tried to process what had just transpired. Months of fighting and scheming and going behind the backs of those he loved and finally – _finally_ – Ra's had been defeated. It should have been a sense of victory and relief and to some extent it was. But in that moment, Oliver wanted nothing more than to be beside Felicity.  Earning her forgiveness? _That_ would feel like victory. Instinctively, his hand went to his ear, belatedly remembering that his com had been destroyed in the fight.

_I need to ask Felicity to design a com with some armoring._ He thought to himself with a faint smile as he sheathed his sword and prepared to leave the dam. But he had gone no more than a few paces when he felt something ram into his chest with such force he staggered backwards, only to be struck again, sending him off balance. In a second, he felt his body pinwheel over the railing of the dam and before he could process what had happened, he was careening through space, the air ripping by him with such speed it was painful. His brain couldn't seem to catch up and he couldn't formulate a coherent thought as he plummeted ever downward into the dark, cartwheeling, legs and arms flailing in vain.

Closing his eyes tightly, the only thing he could think of as he hurtled towards his doom was of Felicity and how she'd looked when he'd seen her in Nanda Parbat, swathed in golden light, beautiful and soft and kind. It was as he clung to this memory of her that he felt it. The collision with the hard metal was gentler than he'd expected.

In fact it was hardly painful. And… he could still feel. And hear. And – yes, he opened his eyes and he could _see._

_I'm not dead?_

\-----

Heels be damned, Felicity had never run so fast in her entire life. She was pretty sure she'd hit Barry Allen levels of speed as she raced across the executive floor and made for the stairs to take her to the rooftop of the building.

Okay, maybe not quite Barry Allen speeds. But she was definitely moving at a personal speed record. Of that, she was convinced.

Throwing open the roof access door, Felicity hurtled outside breathing in the cool night air deeply as her eyes scanned the sky hungrily. Sweeping to and fro across the skyline, she prayed and waited, her body trembling even as she checked in on the two of them from her tablet. When she saw through the camera in the suit that they were approaching the building, she turned, able to just make out the blue smudge of light rocketing towards her.

Programming the suit to land, Felicity set aside her tablet as the suit touched down upon the roof, Roy grinning and unhurt inside, Oliver's figure slung over his shoulder.

"Thank God!" Felicity breathed, rushing behind Roy so she could assure herself of Oliver's status. As she did, he glanced up at her, his eyes brightening as he caught sight of her. Overwhelmed with relief, Felicity placed a palm on either side of Oliver's face and looked him over through watery eyes, a smile on her lips.

"If I could figure out how to get this thing to let you go, I would be kissing you right now." Felicity remarked, her voice breaking as she stared up at him, hardly daring to believe he was really alright. In answer, Oliver's face broke into a smile and oh _google._ The smile he gave her could have blinded the sun and he was laughing as he looked at her, his eyes bright and clear and _he was there_. _Her Oliver_ was in there, in those eyes. And that realization alone made her knees weak.

"If I weren't slung over this thing's shoulder like a sack of flour, I would be kissing you back right now." He responded, looking at her so tenderly she couldn't help the blush that spread to her cheeks.

"Are you alright? Captain Lance, he called and he said-" she began to ramble nervously before Oliver gave a dismissive wave.

"I'm fine. Sore and bruised, but I'm fine. Ra's broke my com in the fight though but the armor stopped the bullets, honest." He assured her.

"And… Ra's?" She asked, her voice catching as she said the man's name. Oliver's lips pressed into a line and he nodded at her.

"He's gone, Felicity."

And then it was _her_ turn to smile brighter than the sun and forgetting Roy in the suit for a moment, she threw her arms around Oliver and held on tight, glad that he was here and he was _himself_ , and he was _alive_.

"It's really over?" She asked, needing him to say it to truly believe it.

"It's over. Really." He assured her and in that moment, she couldn't have been happier.

"As much as I hate to break this up, I'd really like to get out of this metal death trap and go spend some time with my girlfriend, if you two don't mind." Roy called from within the suit, prompting Oliver to go stock still, his eyes searching Felicity's face.

"Is that… _Roy_?!" He asked incredulously and Felicity laughed and nodded, scurrying over to her tablet as she typed away hurriedly, disengaging the remote operation on the suit. As she did, the suit relaxed to mimic Roy's posture, prompting Oliver to slip gracelessly from Roy's shoulder. Stumbling to the ground, he landed with a hard 'thud', prompting Felicity to wince guiltily as she rushed forward to help him up, dusting him off perfunctorily.  

"Thea brought him back. When he heard you needed help, he volunteered." Felicity explained, watching as Oliver and Roy made eye contact. From within the suit, Roy gave Oliver a subdued smile, his effusive humor suddenly absent.

"Couldn't let you go getting yourself offed when you've got a kid on the way…" Roy shrugged by way of explanation. Dropping Oliver's gaze, he wrestled with the mechanisms on the suit, struggling to free himself. In a moment, he was stumbling out from the hulking metal suit and stood before Oliver, looking not unlike a boy about to be scolded by his father.

"You know coming back here was an enormous risk, Roy." Oliver stated levelly and Roy nodded, his expression sullen.

"Yeah, I know. But it was one I was willing to take. You're my team, my family. I wasn't going to sit on the bench when you all were in trouble." Roy defended stiffly, glancing up to find Oliver staring down at him with a soft smile.

"Thank you… for coming. You really saved the day." Oliver murmured, embracing his once protégé, whose face was contorted in surprise. Felicity watched the exchange from afar, warmth stealing into her heart and chasing away the frost that her gripping fear had left behind. Motioning to the door, she ushered the two men back into the building, tapping at her keyboard and sending the suit flying back into the executive suite via the hole it had blown into the windows earlier.

That accomplished, Felicity trailed along behind the boys as they made their way back to the executive floor, heaving a sigh of relief as the rest of the team trickled in on their own. As they did, Oliver sidled over to her, keeping his voice low as he looked her over.

"So… _you_ were controlling the suit?" He queried with a raised brow and a nod in her direction. Startled, Felicity looked down and realized belatedly that she was still wearing the mechanisms that had allowed her to aid Roy in his wild rescue attempt. Grinning shyly, she nodded and began to slip the pieces off, helped by Oliver. His fingertips brushed gently across her skin as he unstrapped piece after piece in a slow act that felt entirely too intimate.

"I um… I got the idea from you, actually. When you controlled the suit for Ray when I was in trouble." She confessed, shivering softly as Oliver helped unclip her from the last piece, the strap falling away from her upper arm and leaving her feeling exposed despite the fact that she was still clothed.

"That was some quick thinking." He praised her softly, his eyes warm as he met her gaze. "Thank you – for saving me. But also for protecting the baby." Oliver mused and Felicity's sharp intake of surprise could not have gone unnoticed but Oliver drew no attention to it as he turned slowly away, leaving Felicity to celebrate however she so chose.

If she were able to drink, now would have felt like an appropriate time to break out the champagne.

She watched in silence as Nyssa and Oliver interacted upon the woman's arrival, marveling at how a mutual dislike had grown into something of a grudging respect and appreciation. And she wasn't jealous.  (Okay, maybe she was jealous of the fact that they were married, but really did a forced marriage in Nanda Parbat count as legally binding? She doubted it.) But watching the two speak, even just briefly, Felicity felt a pang of longing for the days when she had been able to talk to him freely, when there had been no (or fewer) hurt feelings or hostility. Back when talking to Oliver had just been _easy._

Or at least, _easier_.

As Nyssa stepped away from Oliver, her voice rose loud enough for Felicity to hear and she couldn't help but smile at the assassin's words.

"You're lucky you're still alive - you wouldn't be, had you not been wearing League armor."

"Well I like to think I had a little something to do with that." Felicity smirked as she stepped nearer to Oliver, pausing as a throat cleared itself loudly from behind her. "And Roy. He helped too." Felicity amended, arching a brow at Roy who nodded approvingly from where he sat atop a table, an arm slung over Thea's shoulders as he held her close.

"When I started this I wanted to keep you as far away from it as possible because that has always been my instinct – to go it alone…" Oliver explained as he raised his voice for all to hear, glancing hesitantly at Diggle, who offered Oliver only a cold stare in return. Swallowing, Oliver continued. "But the truth is that we won tonight because I wasn't alone. I thought that this crusade would only end with my death but even if I had died tonight it would live on because of you-" Oliver nodded to Laurel and Diggle, "and you-" a nod to Ray and Felicity this time, "…and you." Oliver chortled, staring at his sister and Roy appreciatively. In return, Thea grinned at Oliver knowingly, her fingers twiddling as they twined through Roy's tenderly.

"It's true - this city isn't lacking masks." Laurel smiled, looking around the room at the assembled group of people responsible for having saved Starling City and its inhabitants on more than one occasion.

"Heroes-" Oliver corrected gently and with the barest of smiles. "Which is why I no longer need to be one."

"What are you saying?" Felicity asked, the smile falling from her face as she processed his words.

"Ra's took the Arrow identity from me. I couldn't be that person even if I wanted to be and I don't want to be." Oliver explained in a rush as he exhaled, shaking his head with a wry smile as his eyes locked on Felicity and stayed trained there. He walked closer to her then, halting when he was so close she could have reached out and touched him. "I told you once that I couldn't be the Arrow and be with you… I want to be with you, if that's still possible. But even if it's not… I want to be here for our son or daughter. No mask is worth more than that to me." Oliver intoned, his voice husky with genuine emotion.

"You told me that I have become someone else… and I would like to maybe discover a little more about that person – with your help." Oliver explained and Felicity frowned at him, her head tilted to the side as she surveyed him. She was suddenly keenly aware of the fact that all eyes in the room had turned to her and she squirmed a bit beneath that knowledge, staring up at him with a bitter mixture of longing and regret.

"Her help to do what?" Thea queried nervously, stepping forward away from Roy, keeping a tight hand on his as she did so. Clearly, Thea's sense of loss was still fresh and she wasn't keen on renewing it – not that Felicity could or did blame her.  

"I think a roadtrip like in my dream is probably off the table since we have a lot of preparing to do before this little one makes its debut but… I would really like to explore who I am without the Arrow or the Queen billions or any of the other things I've hidden behind in the past. If you'll help me." Oliver offered by way of explanation, watching as Felicity pursed her lips in thought as she took in his words, leaning her forehead against his upper arm as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"I don't… I don't think that's what you need, Oliver." Felicity said in a hushed voice, doing her best to ignore the ripple of shock that crossed every expression in the room – including his. Tripping over herself to explain, Felicity rambled on quickly. "You need to figure out who _you_ are before we can be a 'we'. To do that, you don't need me." She elaborated, touching a hand to one of his reassuringly.

"I don't... I don't understand." He managed, his brows furrowed as he stared at her, trying desperately to comprehend.

"You will." Felicity encouraged, giving his hand a firm squeeze. "I think you should go on that road trip. Figure out who you are now. And when you do, I'll be here waiting. We all will." Felicity explained, gesturing to their friends and loved ones around the room. He followed her gaze, noting the look of approval on John's face.

He had made many mistakes. He knew that. And he was not done atoning for them – this too, he knew. But one thing gave Oliver pause and then, solace, and it was the fact that John Diggle seemed to approve of what Felicity had suggested. For all that had transpired, Oliver had not stopped trusting in Diggle's judgment. He wouldn't now either – even if doing so meant being away from the only people he wanted to be close to.

"This… isn't a test, is it?"Oliver queried nervously and Felicity shook her head, offering him a sad smile.

"No. It's not a test."

"You said I needed to show you that I had changed. Through actions… Isn't me running away doing the opposite of that? I should be here. With you. Helping you. Shouldn't I?" He questioned and she smiled at him widely.

"The fact that you're even asking me that question tells me you're already changed and you're already showing it. Go. Figure out who you are now. Just… try and figure that out before January 22nd, okay?" She grinned and he blanched, looking from her face to her stomach and back again.

"I-Is that when-?"

"Arrow Junior is due? Yeah. It is." Felicity confirmed, smiling as Oliver's hands framed her stomach from afar, glancing at her questioningly before she gave him a nod of approval. His palms slipped across her midsection then as he stared at her middle in wonder and awe.

"I'll be back before then… I promise." Oliver swore, looking to Felicity with conviction.

'Where are you going to go?" Thea queried, her voice betraying the agitation she clearly felt. Oliver turned to her apologetically, offering a noncommittal shrug.

"Someplace far away from here. Even without me, Starling still has heroes to watch over it." Oliver explained.

"But who's going to watch over _you_?" Thea pressed nervously, only to be interrupted by Roy.

"I'll apply for that gig." He volunteered, glancing uneasily at his girlfriend as he approached the pair of Queen siblings, glancing from one to the other uncertainly. "I mean, I still can't be here, at least not permanently, and the whole civilian lifestyle is kind of boring solo." Roy clarified, his hands in his pockets as he stared at the floor. "If you want a partner for the road, that is."

Oliver was still for a moment before he glanced to Felicity, whose answering smile and nod was all the confirmation he needed. Sticking out a hand for Roy to shake, the once-vigilante grinned.

"It'll be good to have you watching my back again." Oliver commented, just as John rose and slung his coat over his shoulder, striding from the floor without another word.

"John!" Felicity called after his retreating figure and he paused, glancing back at her before he continued walking.

"I'll talk to him." Oliver promised, sobering in the sight of John's unrequited rage as he hurried off after his friend, leaving Felicity and the others to process what had just occurred.

"Wow." Ray murmured as he approached Felicity, his eyes wide and brows raised as he glanced down to his blonde ex-girlfriend.

"Yeah, that's the word I've been saying over and over in my head." She sighed, shaking her head before she turned her gaze up to his.

"So does that mean I'm going to have to find a new vice president?" Ray's curiosity and concern was noteworthy and Felicity only chuckled before she formulated her response.

"I don't think so. Pregnancy brain or no, I think you're stuck with me a while longer, Ray. But you should know, I do intend to utilize the extensive maternity leave benefits package in the near future." She teased, nudging him in the ribs playfully with her elbow, prompting him to grin.

"You drive a hard bargain, but I think I'm in." He remarked, prompting Felicity to nod delightedly until his next words sobered her. "But if we're being honest? I think you're going to need more than just maternity leave." Ray commented and she frowned at him, not comprehending his meaning.

"What are you talking about?" Felicity queried and Ray smiled, motioning with his head in the direction Oliver had gone.

"He is not going to give up on you. Ever. He's not going to need months upon months to figure his head out. He'll go now, because it's what you want but… he'll be back. And when he does come back, you'll want to be with him. He's not the kind of guy you give up on. I can tell by the way he looks at you." Ray nodded with a gentle smile as he turned and walked away, leaving a rather flabbergasted Felicity in his wake.

\-----

_Fourteen Weeks Later…_

\-----

"You have an eleven fifteen with Legal regarding the branding change, followed by a twelve thirty Prenatal Yoga session during your lunch break, then a sit down with R&D," her assistant rushed through her itinerary as Felicity made her way across the Executive Floor, carefully kicking off her flats that she wore outside of meetings and trading them for a pair of heels with only a few small winces of pain as she leaned heavily on the wall for balance while listening to the day's schedule.

"-Louis in accounting requested a meeting with you to discuss the budget for the branding change sometime this week, and Mister John Diggle called and left a message saying your presence is requested at 'Chez Diggle' this evening."

Felicity took all of the information in stride, pausing only as her eyes landed on a rather obscenely large package.

"Gerry, what is that?" Felicity inquired, pointing to the hulking cardboard box. Nervously, Gerry fluttered to the far side of his desk to poke at the box in question with his pen, glancing at her uneasily.

"I'm not sure, exactly. It arrived this morning for you with no return address and no note. I called Security to come check it out but they haven't gotten here yet…" He trailed off suspiciously, staring at the package as if it contained anthrax or the like.

Felicity cocked her head to the side as she stared at it, her eyes running over the planes of the box until her eyes landed on a small detail Gerry had either left out or not noticed. Where the return to sender label ought to have been, there was a small, green arrow in the upper left corner and Felicity suddenly felt any apprehension vanish as she rushed forward.

"Gerry, give me a pair of scissors or a box cutter or _something_. Please!" She requested, sending the young man scurrying to his desk so he could hand her a pair of scissors. With careful strokes, she sliced at the tape around the edges and then carefully pulled back the flaps. As the sides fell away, she couldn't help the sharp inhale of surprise as her eyes fell upon the box's contents.

The crib was made of dark mahogany wood and knowing Oliver, he'd probably carved the damn thing himself. It had a high-backed headboard and an ornate footboard – over the top and totally "Queen" of him, but beautiful nonetheless.

"Oh my Google." Felicity exhaled in surprise, staring at the crib with wide, appreciative eyes. She ran her fingertips over it, marveling at how polished the wood was – not a splinter in sight.

"I'm no baby expert but that looks like a high end crib if you ask me." Gerry whistled, staring at Felicity in surprise. "Let me guess: rich baby daddy sent it? Where's he at now?"

Before Felicity could say a word, another voice cut in and stole her eyes away from the crib.

"I wouldn't say he's rich in the traditional sense but yeah, 'Baby Daddy' sent it. Made it too. And he's here, as a matter of fact." Oliver commented smilingly from just outside the doorway, his hands shoved in his pockets as he stared at Felicity unblinkingly, awe written on his face.

"Oliver." Felicity breathed softly.

And it wasn't entirely without precedent or unexpected; he'd done this thrice before. The first time he'd come to check on her had been four weeks after leaving. He'd been exploring the Pacific Northwest and had hopped a plane back to Starling to visit, a handcrafted mahogany rocking chair in tow. The second time had been eight weeks after he'd originally left, when he'd turned up fresh from the southwest, this time with a mahogany changing table, again carved with his own hands. The third time he'd flown direct from Gotham, with a mahogany bookcase and side table for the nursery, precisely twelve weeks after leaving the first time.

And now here he was at the fourteen week mark, this time with a crib.

Hurrying forward despite the heels she'd just put on, she threw her arms around him. He caught her easily, one arm wrapping around her shoulders while the other steadied her at her hip. After several long seconds, Felicity's stranglehold on him loosened but she stayed close, following his gaze as his eyes trailed down to her stomach.

At seventeen weeks, Felicity's baby bump was now prominent enough that she could flaunt it if she so desired, but not so great that she couldn't hide it when she chose (which she rarely did – Felicity was proving to be a 'flaunt-it-if-you-got-it kind of mother-to-be).  Today's outfit happened to be one that especially accentuated her bump; a skintight white and black polka dot dress with a black band running just beneath her bust showed off every curve of her ever growing stomach.

"Hey." Oliver murmured softly, a hand falling gently to her stomach as he spoke both to her and their child.

"Hey." She returned quietly, smiling up at him like he'd brought the sun back into her world with him.

"You got my package." He commented lightly and if possible, her grin widened.

"You sent it to my office."

"I hear you rarely leave the office these days, Madam CEO."

"She's here sixty to eighty hours a week, generally." Her assistant cut in, interrupting their moment as he sidled closer to the embracing pair. "And as a matter of fact, she's due to speak with Legal in five minutes, Oliver." Gerry reminded, tapping at his wrist so as to remind Felicity of the time. This being Oliver's fourth such visit, Gerry was well versed in hurrying their little reunions along. The first time Oliver had visited, Felicity had been fifteen minutes late to a  _very_ important meeting with the head of PR to discuss the media appearances that had been selected for her to reassure investors following Palmer's accidental death. To say that Felicity had been in hot water would have been an understatement. Oliver, however, had found the whole thing wildly entertaining, given how often she had scolded him for being late when he'd been a CEO.

"Right, thanks Gerry." Felicity flashed her EA an appreciative smile that turned strained as she looked back to Oliver, her features falling. "I do have to go." She sighed, glancing up at Oliver who gave her a rueful but understanding smile.

"Duty calls." He acknowledged, taking a grudging step back from her. "Knock 'em dead, Smoak." He encouraged and she beamed and then cocked her head to the side.

"Actually, you should come with me; it would be good to have you there." Felicity grinned, grabbing his hand in hers and giving it a tug. Flanked by Gerry and with Oliver in tow, Felicity breezed into the boardroom and went promptly to the front of the room, tugging Oliver along behind her.

The man looked more than a little thunderstruck to be facing the legal team that had once worked for him, but he went with it in true Oliver fashion.

"Ms. Smoak; we were unaware that we were having a special guest this morning."  Judy, the head of the department commented from the opposite end of the table, staring at Felicity shrewdly.

"I was unaware he would be able to attend as well until about five minutes ago. Fortunately, Mister Queen is here at my request and he's traveled quite a ways to be here, unless I'm mistaken?" Felicity queried, arching a brow in Oliver's direction. Taken aback, he cleared his throat and nodded.

"Yes; I came all the way from Scobey, Montana. Happy to be here." He announced. Felicity had to suppress her own shock at his words but couldn't help the quirked brow she offered in reaction to hearing he'd come from Montana.

_Montana? Last time he visited he was in Gotham. What brought him to Montana, of all places?  Frack. Focus._

"Moving onto business," Felicity stated crisply, wrangling the room of posturing personalities, "-in light of Mister Palmer's accident as well as the city's recent name change, this company is in need of a face lift. Something that has ties to the city that once was but with a fresh take for moving forward. That being said, my plan is a simple one, ladies and gentlemen. We will be rebranding this company for the third – and I hope the final – time." Felicity announced, and this time it was Oliver's turn to be surprised. He shot Felicity a look but she was on too much of a roll to pay him too much mind.

"As you all know, my eighty hour work weeks are numbered," Felicity stated, a hand falling to rest atop the swell of her stomach, "-which is why Mister Queen is back. While I'm on maternity leave, he will be the acting CEO and after I return, we will be sharing those duties equally. " Felicity explained. "Therefore, the rebranding will be going forward and Palmer Technologies will henceforth be Queen Incorporated." Felicity announced with a smile, turning to give Oliver a look which he could only return with slack-jawed wonder that he quickly schooled.

A litany of protests rose up from legal but in lifting her hand for silence Felicity quieted them in an instant, surveying them all intently as Gerry ducked in from his vantage behind Felicity and handed Felicity her trusty tablet.

"Incorporate," Felicity announced crisply, adjusting her glasses as she read the definition aloud, "-to take in or contain as part of a whole. To include. To combine into one substance." She read, plucking her glasses from her face so she could peer critically at the assembled legal team. "I would say based on the fact that my child is a Queen, I myself am being incorporated into the Queen family. PR loves it. It tested well among focus groups. And most importantly? _I_ love it. So do tell me, what could be a better name for  _my_ company than a name which reflects my devotion to my family and to this corporation?" Felicity challenged, effectively shutting down any arguments the legal team had been about to offer.

"I thought so." She beamed warmly, setting down her tablet as she peered at them all briskly. "Well, I think this has been a productive meeting. Start drawing up the paperwork – Judy, I'd like it on my desk by week end at the latest. If anyone needs me, I will be unavailable until after lunch." Felicity announced, grabbing Oliver by the hand and dragging him out of the office behind her, Gerry on her heels.

"Gerry, cancel my twelve thirty, please." Felicity murmured as her assistant strode to keep pace with her.

"But you told me not to let you cancel prenatal yoga ever, no matter what, not even if 'the Doctor' from 'Doctor Who' was in town." Gerry protested and Felicity winced and groaned, prompting Oliver to chuckle.

"You don't need to clear your schedule for me." He insisted and she groaned again and shook her head.

"I want to though."

"Yoga sounds nice." Oliver offered and Felicity fell still, eyeing him in disbelief.

" _You_ want to do yoga?" She questioned in a skeptical tone and he chuckled.

"Mostly I want to _watch you_ do yoga. But if participation is required, I'm game." He offered with a shrug and Felicity bit her lip and smiled shyly.

"Okay. We've got an hour before it starts though… Want to grab something to eat?" She queried and Oliver smiled.

"Big Belly Burger?" He offered and Felicity seemed to turn to a puddle of goo before him, nodding ecstatically.

"You read my mind."

The walk to the shop was quiet; they made small talk on the way there and throughout the meal. It wasn't until Felicity had decimated a three quarter pounder and an order of cheese fries that they began to talk in earnest, however.

"I'm sorry to put you on the spot like that back there. And you don't have to be the CEO while I'm gone. I got a little carried away. That's not my call to make, obviously." Felicity rambled apologetically as Oliver stared at her from over the plastic lid of his Styrofoam soda cup.

"You don't have to apologize, Felicity." He mused, taking a long sip through his straw before he set it aside and folded his hands atop the table. "I'm not back just to see if you liked the crib." He explained, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I… I came back because I want to be back. I want to be here. For you. _With_ you." He corrected, leveling a determined, cool stare at her as she processed his words.

"I know." She stated confidently and he blanched, staring at her with such shock she couldn't help but smile as she sipped appreciatively at her chocolate milkshake. "I know you, Oliver. I've always known you, even when you didn't know yourself. And I could see it on your face when you walked into my office. The other times you visited it was like you were asking to come home. And this time, it was like you were _telling_ me. You aren't leaving this time. That's what you came to say – right?" She questioned and he swallowed thickly and then nodded, more than a little taken aback.

"Yeah. Yeah it is." He confirmed and she nodded confidently.

"Good. I was beginning to think you preferred your plaid and scruff over me." Felicity teased and he shook his head, chuckling deeply.

"Do you know why I went to Scobey, Montana, Felicity?" He queried and she shook her head as she plucked a dollop of whipped cream from the top of her milkshake with her spoon.

"No actually, I was going to ask you about that."

"It's in the most remote county in the continental United States." He explained. "I didn't even bring Roy with me. I wanted to be totally and completely alone. And I was. And do you know what I figured out?" He asked as Felicity stared at him in quiet awe, shaking her head slowly in answer.

"I am a man who cares about this city. And I would like to find a way to help it again – whether that's with a mask or not.  I am a man who loves his sister and will do whatever it takes to save her. And I am a man who is head over heels in love. With you. And with our baby. And I want nothing more than to be with you. To protect you. To love you every minute for the rest of my days. Everything else is just... details." He announced, watching as Felicity's lips curved into a smile despite herself.

"Yeah?" She asked softly, her voice quavering ever so slightly.

"Yeah." He confirmed, giving her a toothy grin.

"Good. I was starting to worry you were going to be out there forever." Felicity gushed in relief. "I mean I'm sure Montana's pretty and the letters and postcards and gifts were great. And don't get me wrong, this lumberjack look is great on you and all but I've really missed our nights together. I mean, not that way, although I mean that night was great," she babbled, blushing fiercely as she went on, - but you know. Us. Together. I miss that." Felicity rambled anxiously as he leaned in, watching her in amusement.

"If I could figure out how to stop you rambling, I would be kissing you right now." He interrupted and Felicity recognized all too well what he was referencing as she fell quiet, looking up at him smilingly.

"Kissing me will probably do the trick." She confessed and without further delay he pulled her across the table and kissed her. When they broke apart a moment later she grinned against his lips, leaning her forehead against his. "Yeah, kissing definitely shuts me up." She confirmed with a breathy laugh. "Although I am kind of regretting getting onions on my burger now, sorry about that, though if I had not ordered them on the assumption that we would be kissing that would have been pretty presumptu-" Felicity began to babble, only to be cut short as Oliver leaned in for another kiss, which Felicity quickly reciprocated.

"Felicity, I will always kiss you. Onion breath or no." Oliver grinned and Felicity beamed at him as they rose, hand in hand, and headed back for her office.

"I guess this means we have some work to do." Felicity murmured as they navigated the busy sidewalks of Star City. Oliver cocked his head to the side and stared quizzically at her.

"For the baby? Or rebranding the company…?"

"For rebranding _you_ – although we do have to do some more work for the baby, including moving the crib out of my office and into the nursery. I'm referring to what you said earlier – about wanting to help the city again. Step one for that will be convincing Diggle that you're trustworthy so he'll let you back on the team." Felicity stated and Oliver grimaced but nodded. "And step two will be coming up with a new persona. 'The Arrow' is gone." She reminded him and he nodded.

"He is."

"Tell me one thing though – are you still a fan of the color green….?"


	14. Chapter 14

\-----

_January 20 th, 2016_

\-----

"What's his location? I'm en route." Diggle's voice was a sharp intonation across the coms, commanding and confident.

"Sending you coordinates now." Felicity answered back brusquely, the faint tapping of keyboard strokes sounding in the background. The team's new digs – while cushy, thanks to the combined salaries of herself and Oliver, also had very different acoustics. And her keystrokes? Apparently amplified.

Not that that was important now. Because it wasn't. But somehow these were the random thoughts that popped into her head mid-mission.

"Laurel and I are going to the drop point. ETA six minutes and forty five seconds." Oliver announced, flashing a thumbs-up to the traffic camera as he and Laurel whipped past it on their twin motorcycles, both heavily laden with their newly acquired (see: stolen) supplies. Felicity watched with a shake of her head and a small smirk, murmuring under her breath.

" _Show off_."                                                                                               

"I heard that." Oliver answered back brightly over the coms and Felicity's cheeks pinked.

"I meant for you to." She covered hurriedly, convincing precisely no one in the process – herself included.

"If you two lovebirds are done with your banter, I've got eyes on the target; Diggle, he's coming your way. I'm activating the homing beacon." Thea announced, and from a rooftop surveillance cam, Felicity caught sight of the brunette in her red leather outfit, bow in hand as she acted as the team's eyes on the ground. Although technically she wasn't on the ground because she was on a rooftop.

Eyes on the roof didn't really have the same ring to it though.

"On it." Diggle replied and Felicity watched from her computer terminal as Diggle maintained his trajectory towards the coordinates she'd given him. It was just as Diggle engaged the target a moment later though, that the entire team heard a sound across the coms that, in any other situation, would have brought them all to a dead stop. As it was though, Oliver touched a hand to his com as he drove with Laurel, his speed momentarily faltering as his attention suddenly shifted to Felicity.

"Felicity? What was that?"

"What was what?! We are good to go. Clear for takeoff. Go, go gadget Team Green Arrow." She rambled, too quick to reassure him and too pushy in the reassurances she offered.

"You're a bad liar, Felicity." He muttered back at her and he heard her sharp intake of breath in answer on the other end.

"It's nothing." She answered back dismissively but he could hear her armor cracking in those words.

"Then telling me about this little 'nothing' should be no problem." He reasoned, leaning down low over his motorcycle as he tried to focus on both the mission and the woman that he loved simultaneously. To say that his attention was not evenly divided would have been an understatement.

"I ah… Okay well don't panic but um… I'm sort of… a tiny bit…kind of in labor." She answered back and Oliver felt himself freeze atop the bike, his blood going cold and his head feeling suddenly light. Forgetting about the road for a moment, Oliver was trying to get his head around the idea when Laurel yelled at him suddenly and he jerked back to the present, wrenching his bike out of the way of a traffic light and back onto the road just in the nick of time.

" _What?!_ " Oliver yelled when he had recovered some, prompting a sharp feedback to squawk in his ear, as well as the ears of the rest of the team. Wincing, Oliver waited for the feedback to silence and shook his head.

"The contractions are still far-ish apart. We'll be alright, Oliver." Felicity hurried to calm him, though her efforts were most assuredly in vain.

"Contractions!? You're… _You're having contractions?!_ " He questioned, only for dead air to meet his words. "Felicity!"

"Yes, dummy, she's having contractions. They generally accompany labor." Thea growled, and Oliver became dimly aware of the fact that the rest of the team was listening in too. Of course. Because they were mid-mission. They were mid-mission and his....  _Felicity was in labor_. Because asking for her to go into labor in the middle of the night like a normal couple would be too much to ask.

"I'm coming for you." Oliver snarled just as the muted thump of something on the other end of the phone line stopped him.

"No! Oliver we have to do this. If we don't, people could get hurt – people we care about. HIVE and Darhk? They aren't just another bad guy. They're a real, serious threat. And they've already taken one of ours. We're not letting them take another." She reminded him and despite the strong pull he felt to rush to her side, he knew that she was right; the only way that she would be safe – that their _baby_ would be safe – was if they went through with their plan.

Andy Diggle deserved at least that much. And so did John; they hadn't spent all these months searching and undertaking more missions than he cared to count just to give up now.

"Okay." He growled through gritted teeth, arching low on the bike and urging it forward at increased speed, prompting Laurel to follow suit. "I'm with you guys until we get to the drop point; think you can take it from there without me?" Oliver questioned over the coms, drowning out Felicity's protests.

"We'll be fine if you can get us that far; I've got the subject neutralized… And Oliver? Mazel tov." Diggle confirmed, his voice softening a touch as he congratulated the father to be. Despite the tension that had grown between the two men following Oliver's actions the previous spring, he and Diggle had mostly made amends now. Helped in no small part by the fact that Diggle, as godfather and an experienced parent, had been spending a lot of time helping Felicity to prepare for the baby's arrival – and Oliver too, once he'd come back and made true amends.

"Felicity, talk to me." Oliver requested over the coms, praying she hadn't turned them off; now that he was on the other end, he was keenly aware of how frustrating it must have been for her every time he pulled that kind of stunt.

"I'm here." She answered, her voice strained.

"Walk me through it." Oliver coaxed and Felicity made a noise of complaint. "What?"

"I doubt the entire team wants or needs to hear this." She protested, only for Thea to suddenly chime in.

"Hear this? Are you kidding, I'm heading back first chance I get. I want a front row seat to this show. Laurel, you bring the popcorn!" The younger girl teased, eliciting a strangled growl from Felicity.

"No one is watching this! No one is allowed in that room. _Except_ Oliver. And even he is staying **_well_** north of the equator!!" Felicity warned sharply, prompting low chuckles to fill the team's audio feed.

"You're fine to talk it out Felicity; we are all here for you." Laurel coaxed and Felicity whimpered but acquiesced, her babbling getting the better of her.

"I'm cramping…. _Everywhere_. Stomach. Back. And it hurts. A lot." Felicity gasped. "It comes in waves and it builds and builds and there's…. there's this _pressure_." She panted and Oliver had to bite on the inside of his cheek to keep from making noise at the idea of her in such distress and pain, alone.

"Try to distract yourself. Breathe the way we practiced." Oliver coached her, doing said breathing techniques along with her over the coms. When he had her distracted enough, he spoke in a low voice to Diggle.

"Can you send Lyla-" Oliver began, only to be interrupted.

"I already texted her; she's on her way to pick Felicity up and take her to the hospital." Diggle assured Oliver.

"Don't bother Lyla! I'm fine. I can still t-talk through the contractions. If I can't talk, that's when I've reached more _ow!_ " Felicity squealed, pausing in her explanation before resuming, "m-more active labor." She panted and this… this was it. Oliver had survived Lian Yu but hearing Felicity, in pain, unable to go to her or to ease her suffering? This was the worst form of torture anyone had ever devised against him.

"Hang in there, Felicity." Oliver crooned, longing to hold her hand so she could squeeze it or do something, _anything_ to help her. "Run through your list of names again, huh?" He suggested and he heard her chuckle wryly on the other end.

"So you can veto them? Nice try, Queen." She taunted and he laughed despite himself as he and Laurel took a sharp turn on Stone Avenue.

"So we can agree on one." Oliver amended encouragingly. Thus far, Felicity had suggested 'Alan' ( _He was the father of computer science, Oliver!)_ and Kevin ( _the most renowned hacker. Ever. Of ALL TIME Oliver!)_ for a boy, and Carol ( _one of the first female video game designers, Oliver!)_ and Grace ( _the first female to graduate from Yale with a PHD in mathematics AND one of the first female programmers, Oliver!)_ for a girl.

He'd vetoed them all. She in turn, had vetoed his suggestions of Faith ( _her mother's name is Felicity. There's a bad joke here somewhere, Oliver)_ and Hope ( _see my issue with the name Faith. Come on, Oliver!)_ for a girl. And as for boys, she'd shot down Justin ( _it makes me think of Justin Timberlake, which gives me frightening pre-teen flashbacks_ ) and Harry ( _as in Potter? Way too much pressure to live up to 'The Boy Who Lived'. Next!)._

"Please let it be something not nerdy." Thea interrupted, begging the pair. "I really don't want my little niece or nephew to be named for some computer nerd. No offense, Felicity."

"Some taken." Oliver shot back quickly, ready to offer his own suggestion. "I was going to suggest Sophie for a girl. After Sophie Wilson. The designer of the Acorn Microcomputer!" Oliver stated confidently, wishing he could have seen Felicity's face as he gave the background for his selection. He'd spent more than a few nights up late after Felicity had fallen asleep, searching through online baby name generators and computer history articles in an attempt to find a namesake Felicity would approve of.

"Oh my gosh this kid is doomed to nerd-dom." Thea lamented teasingly just before Felicity responded to the suggestion.

"I like Sophie." Felicity said quietly, a note of disbelief in her voice.

"The namesake or the name?" Oliver clarified and he heard Felicity chuckle hoarsely.

"Both." Felicity confessed and he could hear the smile in her voice this time.

"You do? You like the name Sophie for a girl?!"

"I like the name Sophie for _our_ baby, if it's a girl." Felicity confirmed, prompting Thea to make a shrill noise of joy.

"Solid. I can work with Sophie. Keep going guys, so far you've got the Aunt Thea seal of approval."

"Okay. Umm. For a boy. I have an idea. But I don't know… I don't know how you'll feel about it. I just… I was thinking… " Felicity rambled nervously, sucking in a deep breath that crackled across the coms. "What about Thomas Jonas Queen. We could call him Jonas, or TJ but I thought… In memory of Tommy…" Felicity trailed off nervously, clearly afraid of upsetting Oliver, Thea, or Laurel.

Silence met her words as Oliver swallowed thickly, unable to properly convey in that moment the gratitude and love he felt for Felicity and the thoughtful nature of her suggestion.

"I know my opinion on this is kind of moot, but I really like that, Felicity." Laurel's voice was strained with emotion as she spoke, but no less genuine for it.

"I second that." Thea stated hoarsely, all trace of teasing vanished.

"I think we have a winner." Oliver announced without preamble.

"Really?"

"Really." Oliver confirmed as he brought his bike to a screeching halt at the drop point, wrenching his helmet off as Laurel did likewise alongside him. "And I will tell you that in person when I meet you at the hospital." Oliver promised as he glanced at Laurel.

"Speedy, Diggle, what's your ETA?" Oliver questioned and his sister answered back quickly, sounding a little breathless as she did so.

"Two minutes." She answered and Oliver nodded as he and Laurel set up the equipment they had stolen only minutes before from HIVE. Once finished, Oliver began to pace like a feral animal as he waited for the remainder of the team to arrive. The roar of Diggle's car shifted his focus as the man pulled into sight, Thea dropping into view from the rooftops above a few seconds later.

"You've got the target?" Oliver questioned and he could just make out Diggle's smirk from behind his helmet as he jumped from the car, patting the trunk as he walked by.

"Cargo is secure." Diggle confirmed, reaching a hand for Oliver's and shaking it vigorously. "We can handle things from here. Go." Diggle directed and Oliver hesitated for a moment, his desire to be at Felicity's side only slightly tempered by the knowledge that he could still have a role to play in the team's mission for tonight.

"What about-" Oliver began, only to be interrupted as Diggle shook his head.

"Thea can handle it, and Roy is still tailing Darhk. Go. Give her our best. And let her know we'll be there as soon as we wrap this up." John nodded and Oliver did the same before he embraced the older man roughly.

"Thank you."

"If it's born before I get there, I want pictures. I don't care how gross it is. I want to see the lil peanut." Thea grinned as she hugged her brother.

"I thought we agreed not to call it a peanut?" Oliver asked teasingly as he stepped away from his sister, accepting the hug Laurel offered him as she stepped closer to him.

"Keep us updated. And for the love of God, please both of you, turn off your coms. There are some things I'm just not ready to hear and Felicity in labor? Definitely one of them." Laurel teased as Oliver hurried back to his bike, giving the group a quick wave as he pulled his helmet on and revved his motorcycle's engine before he squealed off into the night.

\-----

As it turned out being 'kinda sorta in labor' had meant she was actually definitely in labor, so by the time Lyla turned up to keep her company, Felicity had had no choice but to accept her offer of a ride to the hospital, even though Oliver hadn't yet arrived. She was able to patch into just his com from her phone though, so he talked to her as they drove. Between Lyla, Oliver, and Captain Lance (whom Laurel had apparently called for additional backup), Felicity's ride to the hospital had been complete with police escort.

Apparently she was already four centimeters dilated. Which sounded like a lot until the doctor gave her a visual of how much that actually was. At which point Felicity was 99% certain that there was no way she was going to survive long enough to make it to the full ten centimeters without dying from the agony of it all. So she was definitely in a fair amount of pain from the contractions as Oliver tried to comfort her at her bedside, offering her a cool washcloth and ice chips which she turned down, her hormones raging as the intensity of her contractions kicked up at least twelve notches.

"This is all your fault." She growled at him, feeling an unspeakable rage as she looked at the father of her child. Oliver blanched, with a look that was very 'deer in the headlights' as he tried to process her words (and the fact that she of all people had said them) before he managed a spluttered response.

"I- _what?!"_

"I am a tiny little person. And I grew a not so tiny, tiny person. Whose genes are to blame there? You. Yours. Queen genes." Felicity rambled and Oliver held back a laugh, though his body shook with the effort of containing it.

"I don't know, Thea's pretty tiny. This might be a recessive Smoak gene at play." He teased, eliciting a scowl from the very pregnant mother-to-be.

"We Smoaks are a small people. You are the opposite of small. Just look at you. You're practically a giant. I am five foot five and you are like eight feet tall." She panted, squeezing his hand tightly.

"I'm six one, actually." He corrected gently and she shot him a look.

"You know what I meant." She growled, holding onto him for dear life as she pulled herself into a sitting position. Slipping from the bed, she walked around the room doing her best to keep moving and hopefully coax their child into being born. "It had to be you. I couldn't fall in love with a nice, average or even below-average sized computer nerd. Oh no, I had to fall for the chiseled, strong-jawed, six foot one, Greek god-like," and here she lowered her voice for a moment, " _vigilante_ - _ing green bandit_!" She finished with a snarl and a fiery stare.

"You think I'm a Greek god?" He commented in amusement, watching as her cheeks colored for a moment for reasons that had nothing to do with the fact that she was in labor.

"That's what you got out of all of that?" She hissed and he chortled, shaking his head and placing a kiss on her forehead.

"I am sorry that I gave our baby my ridiculous, above average height person genes." He apologized and she scowled up at him before giving his arm a tug as she continued pacing the room.

"You forgot absurd. Absurdly, ridiculously tall person genes." She revised and he nodded smilingly.

"Right. Those. Sorry."

"I will consider forgiving you if our child inherits any of the aforementioned Greek god-like features you wear so charmingly." Felicity informed him with a sniff and Oliver bit his lip to contain another laugh as he nodded in amusement.

"Well that does seem fair…"

\-----

They piled into the room quietly but frantically, keenly aware that if they were caught, they'd be kicked out. But after the many _many_ hours they'd spent packed in the waiting room, none of them wanted to wait to see the new family in ones and twos, so cramming into the room won out as John, Lyla, Roy, Thea, and Laurel all crowded into the spacious private room that Felicity had moved to after giving birth.

None of them, however, were prepared for the sight that met their eyes inside the cozy private suite.

Felicity lay in the hospital bed, and even as utterly exhausted as she looked, it was tempered by the joy that she exuded. Propped up by numerous pillows and with her blonde hair tucked over one shoulder, she was positively radiant as she turned her tired eyes to greet their friends, her nose crinkling as she smiled delightedly up at them.

"Hey guys." She whispered softly, turning her gentle smile down to the infant pressed to her chest before she glanced up to Oliver.

"Where's Mom?" She queried with a note of concern and before Oliver could answer her, Laurel spoke up.

"She's with my dad actually, in the cafeteria. They went to grab coffee." Laurel explained and Felicity winced.

"Oh my gosh, your poor father." Felicity lamented, but Laurel was shaking with mirth as she shook her head, dispelling any sense of guilt or pity Felicity was feeling in that moment.

"Something tells me he's enjoying the attention." Laurel grinned and Felicity's eyes went wide and then she shook her head, as if trying to shake away the mental image of her mother and Captain Lance.

" _Anyway_ ," Felicity changed the subject, returning her attention to the infant in her arms, "-we'd like you to meet Thomas Jonas Queen. Jonas for short." She announced tiredly, watching as the group rejoiced around her. Thea came to rest on Felicity's right side, curling up on the bed beside her so she could stare tenderly at her nephew as he slept soundly through his introduction to his extended family.

"Born at 3:20 am on the twenty first of January, weighing eight pounds, ten ounces and measuring twenty two and a half inches long." Oliver added proudly as Felicity groaned.

"He's over the 90th percentile in length. I told you he was already tall." Felicity teased Oliver wearily and he beamed down at her before pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"He's perfect." Laurel whispered softly as she ran a single finger over the soft, sparse downy-hair that covered the infant's head, her eyes trained on the baby as he yawned and adjusted his position.

"Dude, you're a dad."Roy murmured in shock as he stared at the baby from alongside Oliver, his face blank with awe. "You guys… you made a whole little person together." Roy shook his head in disbelief, his eyes wide.

"That's generally what having a baby entails, yeah." Oliver laughed quietly, tired from the ordeal – though not near as exhausted as Felicity.

"It's just… it's kind of crazy, you know?"Roy shook his head again before turning his eyes on his mentor. "You're a _dad_. I mean… look at him. You guys did that. Together. He's half you and half Felicity. How amazing is that?"

"It's pretty indescribable." Oliver confessed, his hands shoved into his pockets as he kept his eyes trained lovingly on Felicity and his son. "But don't get any ideas, Harper. If you make me an Uncle I _will_ kill you." Oliver added quickly in a menacing undertone, smiling all the while.

"What he means is it _is_ pretty incredible and he's glad you're here. Jonas is going to love his Uncle Roy." Felicity cut in and Roy's eyes widened even more, which Felicity hadn't honestly thought was possible.

"I-I'm Uncle Roy?!" He asked incredulously, staring from Felicity to Oliver and back again with an inquiring look of wonder that made Felicity giggle softly.

"If that's alright by you, yeah, that's what we were thinking. You're already family; might as well make it semi-official." Oliver confirmed, finding himself suddenly engulfed in a Roy-sized bear hug as the young man embraced his mentor, doing his level best to hold back tears.

"Little dude, I am going to teach you everything you need to know about everything. Well, I'll let your dad handle bows and fighting and stuff. But I am your man for parkour. And for street smarts stuff. And for the ladies-" Roy spoke hurriedly to the slumbering newborn until Felicity freed one of her hands from holding the infant and poked Roy roughly to silence him.

"Roy!" She exclaimed and the youth held up his hands in surrender.

"Or for the dudes, it's cool." Roy defended and Felicity rolled her eyes and chuckled at him. But as she lowered her hand so she could resume cradling Jonas, Thea's hand flashed out and grabbed Felicity's, her mouth agape.

" _What_ in the name of Star City is _that_?!" The brunette gaped, holding Felicity's hand aloft so the others could see the sizable diamond ring comfortably resting on Felicity's left hand ring finger.

"Thea, you act like you've never seen an engagement ring before." Oliver answered nonchalantly, prompting the group to buzz quietly with excitement until Thea cut in sharply.

"I've seen an engagement ring before. But _not_ on Felicity's finger." Thea spoke in a demanding whisper, stomping her foot for emphasis as she continued. "But that is not the 'what' to which I was referring!" Thea groused, grabbing up Felicity's hand again to hold it aloft as she pointed an accusatory finger at the blonde's hand.

"The engagement ring is what I saw first, but don't you dare think for a second I didn't see the wedding band too." Thea commented pointedly, eliciting even more surprised gasps from their friends as they all craned their necks to see.

And indeed, there was the wedding band, nestled prettily against the rather sizeable engagement ring on Felicity's hand. Smiling at each other, Oliver and Felicity shared a quick kiss and Felicity touched her palm gently to his cheek, her fingers brushing against the stubble that he hadn't had a chance to shave down since being at her side through the night.

"You all should sit down," Felicity began, still grinning like a schoolgirl as Oliver took her hand in his, "it's kind of a long story…"


End file.
